I Kissed A Girl
by Psychedelic Panda Goddess
Summary: There were arms wrapped around me, lips pressed softly against my skin, and the soft breath of sleep ghosting across my chest. Rain pelted the window facing the New York skyline beside us, and I smiled for the first time since I met Edwward. She came into my life as a one night stand that I never wanted, but never forgot AH, AU, M. On Permanent Hiatus.
1. Seductress

All I remembered were arms wrapped around me all night and soft lips brushing against mine. It was the best night of my life – much better than anything I ever had with my boyfriend. The only trouble was when I woke up the next morning, she was gone. Would I ever find her again, and if by some miracle I did, how would I keep her a secret from Edward? AH, AU, M.

Hey all, JUST so you know, this chapter is TOTALLY M for LEMONS. In fact, this whole story has lemons, bad language, and some violence. Don't read if you're not of a mature audience. Thanks – PandaDee

**OH and I have very good news :D I've recently gotten myself a beta for this story! Yay, no more mistakes! (hehe yeah right Panda girl) Thank you Shabbacabba for editing this mess of a story. **

Chapter One

Seductress

"Rose, are you sure we should be doing this?"

I tugged on the tight black dress as if to make it longer than just my ass, and followed her in my uncomfortable three inch heel boots down the line of people. She made me come out because both of our guys were too caught up in their football game to care what we did. Even if it was going down to Rose's club.

"Oh stop being such a prude. Get your hot ass over here and dance with me," she tugged me past the giant of a man at the door and he quickly let us by. Rose rarely ever came in the front entrance, or went to the public dancing area, but tonight we were both too bored to just sit in the backroom with a couple of drinks. Our men, forgetting that it was a special day for me, decided to watch the football game instead of doing anything else.

So without another word, I followed her perfect body wrapped in a tight red dress out into the middle of the public. I watched the people around me moving in waves, grinding and humping against each other because they were too drunk to see how stupid they looked. When Rosalie wrapped her arms around a random girl and a guy, I walked over to the bar and ordered a martini. Rose was a party animal, even though she was engaged to Emmett – her high school sweetheart. She loved him, unconditionally, and told me once: "Bella, sometimes a girl needs to let go for a bit. I don't mind when Em goes to strip clubs, why should he mind if I wanna dance?" It seemed like a good philosophy to me, but I knew my Edward would flip out if he ever saw me dancing with anyone like Rose did.

Edward Masen was my high school boyfriend from the small town of Forks, Washington. Emmett was his brother, and since Rose was his girlfriend when we became friends, she introduced me to Edward. He was gorgeous, the perfect gentleman, and he still was three years after we graduated and moved to New York. He was still beautiful with his deep green eyes, his crooked grin, and his messy bronze hair, but the way his eyes could make my knees weak and the way his touch used to send fire through me had long since gone away. I loved him in my own way, of course. We were engaged after all, and I was going to be Mrs. Isabella Masen this coming July. All I could think about that was thank god it's September, and I still have ten months to live freely as Bella Swan. I could never break his heart, so I knew I would never break up with him and call off the wedding for my own happiness. It made me happy to see him happy because he was my best friend, and if that meant I suffered in silence, I would.

He was perfect to everyone else, but he was incredibly jealous and his insatiable appetite for sex was getting old – fast. We had our first time after high school, our first night alone together in his apartment. It was amazing then, but his touches did not feel like they did back then, and sex was just boring now. I downed the entire martini as I thought about the next sixty or seventy years I would spend beside him and immediately ordered another. A woman's light laughter came from behind me and I peeked around to see the most gorgeous woman I'd ever laid eyes on smirking at me from two bar stools away. She was stunning in her tight purple dress, showing off every single one of her curves, and I thought for a moment that it was strange for me to be so attracted to her. She was like my wildest fantasy come true.

"Bad day?" she asked, sliding over and ordering a drink for herself.

I was still staring at her perfection, her uncovered legs, her full chest, and those eyes that seemed to pierce right through me so I almost didn't hear her. "Uh," I stammered and realized she was still waiting for me to answer, "more like horrible life to come. I'm getting married." I groaned, resting my head on the wooden bar.

She laughed in delight and rubbed my back tenderly, sending shocks through my entire body that I hadn't had in so many years. I looked up at her pixie-face and took in all the details of the strange woman sending lust to my forgotten loins. Nothing did that anymore, not even touching myself before Edward got on top of me. Her black hair was down past her chin, her eyes were sky blue as I looked deep into them with my own brown ones, her skin was pale and coated in cute little freckles in random places, and she had a beautiful, perfect white smile.

"Oh now, it can't be that bad. He's a lucky guy if I do say so myself," she chuckled and scooted my third martini toward me. I drank it thankfully and shook my head. I did notice how she was looking over my body and biting her lip as she took in my small frame.

"No, I'm supposed to be the lucky one. He's gorgeous, tall, he's got lots of money that I don't care about, and I'm supposed to be perfect right along with him. How," I shook my head when I felt things start to get hazy and knew I was getting buzzed, "how am I supposed to compete with that? I'm a fucking artist! I walk dogs for extra cash. I live in a five hundred square foot _apartment_ in the _Village_. His _condo_ is a fucking penthouse across from _Central Park_." I groaned loudly, unable to stop the drunken babble coming from my lips. She nodded her head and took in a shot of whiskey as I finished and we both ordered another round.

"He sounds pretty fucking perfect if you ask me, but if you feel that way, why are you marrying this man?" she frowned as I leaned my head into my hands. She moved closer and wrapped an arm around me in a comforting way, but I felt lust rush to my panties and I knew I'd need some sort of release tonight.

"Because I can't hurt him," I sighed and shook my head no to myself, "he'd be a total wreck if I left him. He's my friggen boyfriend from our freshman year in High School_, _but I don't know if I can handle living like that for the rest of my life." She snorted at that and wrapped an arm around mine, tugging me away from my sixth or seventh martini.

"Girl, you need to unwind. Come dance with me," she whispered close to my ear, sending shivers of pleasure down my body again. Who was this woman and where could I buy like ten of her to put around my house?

When I nodded, she pulled me out into the swarms of dancing men and women. There was a loud beat above us, a song I recognized, but all I could pay attention to was how she wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me close to her. Her little hips bumped against mine in the sweetest kind of friction, her tongue licked across my neck, and all I could do was put my hands on her tiny waist and mirror her movements. Our lips met, our tongues twisted in ecstasy, letting me taste the coolness of her mouth with mine. She ran her hand up my thigh and fingered my folds outside of my underwear, moaning huskily when she felt how wet I was. I did the same and found the same wanting look in her eyes and all over her wet core.

"I think you should show me that apartment in the Village." she whisper shouted over the music and I shivered when her fingers dipped inside of me, eliciting a groan of pleasure from my chest.

We caught a cab, but she didn't let our lips part for one second. She straddled my hips, pulled her dress up in the front, grinding her wet pussy against mine. I'd never done anything like this, hell maybe it was the alcohol doing it but whatever, I'd take it. We got in the lift, still wrapped up in each other, and I fumbled with the keys to my door before throwing it open and slamming her against it. Her fingers locked it as I got to my knees and slid her underwear down her legs, impatient for more. She ran her hands through my hair when I devoured her sweet tasting folds with my mouth and my tongue. I dipped my fingers inside of her as my tongue twirled and twisted around her clit and she wrapped her legs around my shoulders. Her moans were all I needed to continue, and soon my own hands were rubbing heatedly across my aching core.

"The bed," she panted and I picked her up, swung us across the room, and landed on top of her in the mess of tangled sheets and blankets.

Her hands pushed my head down again and I unzipped her dress from the side so I could see her perfection better. Her pink little nipples were hard, aching for my touch, and when her hand went down to massage her dripping wet cunt, I swatted them away. If I was going to go through with this, this beautiful girl would never ever forget the night we spent together. I dipped my head down again, licking away all of the moisture and growling with desire when she started clenching down on my fingers. Her back arched, my hands moved to her perfect pink nipples and pinched down as she came hard, coating my fingers with her essence. Before I could even think, she was pushing me down, kissing all over my nipples and biting them with her teeth, sending shivers and lust down south.

At first, she mirrored my earlier movements, but she took two fingers and started shoving them deep and hard inside of me, bringing a feeling I had never had before in my entire life. My hands ran through her black, messy hair as my moans reached screaming and it wasn't long before I felt my own orgasm start to peak. Her tongue was flicking in the best way across my clit, her fingers still thrusting deep and hard up inside of me, and when her eyes flashed to mine I felt the warmth take over my body and I shuddered as I came the hardest I ever had in my life. Panting, I fell back into the sheets, pulled her to my chest when she settled in front of me, wrapped our legs together, and took her lips in mine. She was moaning into my mouth as our tongues danced, lighting the previous fires again.

She stopped my fingers and kissed them with hers, shaking her head, "you're drunk baby. Sleep." she pulled my head to her chest and I felt my eyes droop before I could even object. I wanted so much more of her, to taste her exotic spicy essence in my mouth again, but my eyes fell shut and I rested against her warm body. I was in bliss for the first time since I moved to New York City, but the only thing on my mind was how amazing this night turned out to be.

Best. Birthday. Ever.

**A/N: **

**Yay! For the revised chapter :D **

**Review it. **

**-Dee!**


	2. Alone

**A/N: Thank my beta Shabbacabba for editing all my mistakes :) **

**Chapter Two**

**Alone**

I woke, opened my eyes, and immediately closed them because the light was just too much for my hung over mind. I stumbled out of my bed, and after shutting the blinds, I noticed something was missing from last night. The beautiful girl I'd had the best night of my life with, was no longer lying beside me, but a note lie on the pillow she rested her head on. I put it to my nose: it still smelled like her exotic patchouli perfume. I tore open the note eagerly, hoping it said she was just out getting breakfast because I didn't have any food in my fridge.

_Brown Eyes, _

_Last night was amazing. My advice on the man you spoke about last night, leave him. You deserve someone who is gonna rock that fine body from NY to LA and treat you like the fucking sex goddess you are._

_I'll see you around._

_-A _

A? Just one little letter was supposed to lead me to that beautiful woman again? I threw the note down the garbage disposal and turned it on with some water. Just my luck Edward would come snooping around here and find it. It would be fucking impossible to find A again if all she left me was a note and seriously good feelings that I hoped would carry on forever.

I looked around my small apartment, checking across the dark wooden floors to the blue and purple walls for a sign of anything, but there was nothing. The tall white separating book shelf hid my bedroom from the living room with plants and books, but I could see that my red couch didn't show any sign of a person lying there. The flat screen by the white dining room table was shut off, as it had been since last night, so I turned it so music would flow through the small apartment.

When my favorite song came on, I looked through my purple down cover for underwear or a bra and my hands snagged something toward the bottom of the bed. A very sexy black bra that said 34-C, and did not belong to me was what I brought up. I laughed loudly before throwing it into the black nightstand beside my bed, far away from the condoms and back toward the silver vibrator I bought in secret. What Edward didn't know wouldn't hurt him right?

My phone buzzed from its place on the dining room table, and my fat cat Toby jumped up when I came over to it. He meowed and nudged my hand, which usually meant I forgot to feed him when I came home yesterday. I answered the phone, grabbed the cat food, and fed the meowing beast so I could hear whoever needed to talk to me.

"Hello?" I whispered, because it sounded like shouting in my head.

"Hey Bells," oh...shit, "I'm downstairs, let me in?" Edward hung up and I panicked, throwing my dress from last night, along with all the sexy lingerie, in the wash before I straightened up the place a bit.

I fixed up my room and hopped in the shower so he wouldn't smell the strange mix of arousal and perfume all over my face and arms. I hated to wash away all that I had left of A, but with Edward coming up the stairs to my apartment on the third floor, I had no choice. I heard the door open, shut, and then he was just outside of the foggy glass doors to my shower. I peeked out and he smiled at me, meeting my lips with his before I shut the door again. I felt horrible kissing him after spending all night kissing someone else.

"Hey, where did you go last night? Rose came home, all worried and drunk, saying you left with some girl?" he asked, suspicion coating his tone.

Shit. Fuck. "Uh, yeah this girl I and I caught a cab home because she was really drunk and I didn't want her to get mugged or something. We met and got talking. She only lives a few blocks from here," I shut my eyes as I started shampooing my hair, knowing if he saw them, he would know I was lying. Even through glass.

"Oh, well put on something nice, we're going to my parent's house today," he sounded like he was dreading it, as was I. His parents were even snobbier than he was. Mr. and Mrs. Edward and Elizabeth Mason. I hated them like they were a plague that wouldn't stop following me everywhere. They moved away from Forks when we did, but to a nicer town in New Jersey. They still lived in a three story mansion, though. Thankfully, my parents Charlie and Renee decided to move to the Caribbean and leave me alone in the big city.

"I really hate your fucking parents," I laughed and he snorted as he continued looking at his cell phone.

"Me too my love, but they are paying for the wedding and our house. It's only for a few hours, I promise." I let my head fall against the wall as guilt filled me. I had cheated on this poor guy last night for the first time in seven years and he had no fucking idea. He was still calling me his love and promising to ease my suffering with his dreaded parents.

"Okay, I'll be right out. Can you get my blue dress from the closet – the one with the brown belt?" I whispered hoarsely because tears were now falling down my cheeks. He left me to myself, shut the bathroom door, and I wiped away the annoying moisture around my eyes. I loved Edward, as my best friend, because he was that. And I hoped he always would be.

But A, well, I could get used to having someone like her around. I was mulling over the possibility that I wasn't exactly straight, and very, very attracted to her. It had been a long time since I looked at Edward and said "damn I just want to jump his fucking bones" and I mean a long time.

I shut off the water, stepped out, and toweled off so I could survey the damage I made on my eyes last night with my drinking. My stomach was a little bloated, but other than that, I looked good. My brown eyes were shining with excitement still, my long hair was straight all the way to my hips, and my pale body was covered in a slight pink blush. He was busy, talking away on his phone, but at least he got my dress out of the closet. Edward was in med school, and volunteered at the hospital when he had spare time, so we hardly ever spent any time together anymore. The one day he was off was the day we had to visit his wretched parental units.

"Can't we just do something together, you know, hang out in the park or rent a movie?" I asked, hoping he would say yes.

"No, we have to go. Can't you rent a movie with Rose or something? And don't you get tired of walking through the park with the dogs?" he asked as he continued to type away on his iPhone. I sighed. Of course he didn't want to just spend the day with me, the last time we did that was in Forks before he was in school and before I started selling my art.

I brushed through my hair, pulled on some brown boots, the dress, and grabbed his hand. "Yeah, never mind. Let's go."

After an hour of driving through New Jersey, we were in the small town of Princeton where his parent's lived. I immediately wondered where A lived. Did she even live in New York? Was she from another state and I'd really never see her again? The thought put ice in my veins and made a frown form on my lips. It had started raining when we pulled up to the multimillion dollar mansion at the end of a private drive. I pulled my ear buds out when Edward stopped the car. He took my hand when his parents answered the door and looked down their noses at me.

"Oh, I wish I would have known you would be dressing so casually," she gestured to several other woman I recognized as her friends and their daughters, "I would have told everyone to come that way as well." I rolled my eyes at her millionth attempt to make me feel shitty about myself.

This was probably the nicest dress I owned, and it didn't even compare to the hundred dollar shoes the woman beside me wore. Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulders, "it's alright, we just stopped by to say hello. Mother, if you are busy we can come another time." That was my Edward, always trying to leave as soon as possible – for both of our sakes. I kissed his cheek for the attempt, but I knew she would have none of it.

"Nonsense, we were just going into the dining room for lunch. Bella would you like me to look for some spare clothes you can wear?" she asked as I pulled my blazer around myself tighter.

Two more hours of torture, here I fucking come.

"No ma'am I am perfectly comfortable in my own clothes, thank you."

After gossip, me almost falling asleep across Edward's chest, and the arrival of some of his ex girlfriends, we were free. His mother always tried to get him to see what he was missing by inviting them to all of her parties, but it never fazed me. Maybe because I didn't love him that way, maybe because I just didn't care that they were around. The only one I liked was a quiet girl named April. She had long black hair and we got along wonderfully because we liked to laugh about how ridiculous they all looked doing their rich people stuff. She lived with her parents in a mansion not far from here, but she always wanted to be on Broadway. I didn't blame her.

"Goodbye Fraulein Fucking Masen." I put my hand up in a mock Nazi salute, getting a loud laugh from Edward as we peeled out of the driveway and we were on the high way again.

"She really does remind me of a fucking Nazi sometimes. I can't stand how she always wants to show me what I'm definitely not missing. Did you see how fat Tanya got?" he rolled his eyes and turned up some music that we both enjoyed as we made our way to the toll road.

"Yeah I really did. Damn shame," I sighed, looking out the window again as he continued driving. He was holding my hand between us, and it made me think about the woman from last night.

She held me all night: something Edward hadn't done in years. It was a quick fuck before school, and sometimes on the weekends he'd stay in my bed beside me. I didn't know why he didn't hold me anymore, but I did miss it after a while. Now, A's touches would be all I could get enough of, the things I thought about when he wanted to have sex with me. She could definitely get me through this depression that was marrying Edward, even though I only loved him like a girl would love her best friend.

I shut my eyes and remembered how she looked more like a carving of Venus beneath me as my tongue ravished her. The look in her eyes as she groaned and begged me for more was almost too much for my senses. I felt wetness pooling in my panties and I bit my lip to hold back the moans at the memory. I felt arousal boil over in my stomach and I sighed deeply, taking in the cold air from outside to calm myself. Edward was looking at me curiously, so I derailed his train of thought.

"Can we hang today?" I looked over at him when we were stopped in traffic. He was on his phone again, obviously doing some sort of assignment. I hated that fucking school, always making him distracted. I missed the man that would swing me up in his arms and lie me down in our meadow in Forks. I missed his sweet kisses that were so much like A's once.

"No, I've got afternoon classes, but Rose has informed me that she would like to see you," he showed me her text and I nodded. I forgot my phone at home today. His mom didn't see the need for a girl to have a cell phone, but I had a few reasons. Rape, car trouble, and freaking insane in-laws that made you shoot yourself in the face just to get away form them were some good reasons in my mind.

"Alright," I sighed, feeling rejection wash over me in the most familiar way. It had been like this since we moved here and I wondered if he would ever have time for me again. Maybe in five years when he finished med school I would feel the fire come back.

"Hey, look," he grabbed my hand and pulled me back into my seat, "we'll do something this weekend. I'm sorry my love, I just get too fucking busy sometimes. You know there is nothing more in this world that I would like to do than to just hold you in my arms all day. But I can't." he laughed, bringing my face close to his. His lips met mine, and I held back tears when I felt him showing me love, but I didn't receive any. I was a shell of the woman he once knew, and I hated that I was comparing everything he did to last night already.

We parted and he kissed my forehead before I moved back into my seat. "Bye, Edward," I whispered, getting out of the car. I watched him drive away before I took out my house keys and fumbled with the front door. I hated all the guilt swarming through me, but it wasn't entirely my fault. If Edward would make time for me sometime, I wouldn't feel the need to fantasize about the girl that made all of my wet dreams come true in six hours.

Rose was already in my house when I got in the building, holding a bra in her hands and tapping her red heels impatiently as all the blood drained from my face. Shit.

"So, who was the girl you left with last night and why is her bra here?" she smirked at me, throwing the black material into my face. So she had seen me leave with the girl, which also meant she saw how my lips were attached to some part of A's body until we got out of the club and to my house.

I change the subject. "How did you find that? I shoved it back there really far," I complained as I shoved it into my underwear drawer this time.

"That doesn't matter. What matters is why your bed's all messed up and you look so friggen happy after being at the Masen's." she asked, pushing me down on the couch so I couldn't escape from her stare. Rose was always very perceptive when it came to me, I didn't know why, and I really hated it.

I sighed, looking down at the ground. "You have to understand I was drunk and I didn't know what I was doing. Edward can never know-"

"I know that, we all do crazy things when under the influence," she nodded, sitting next to me, "and I won't tell Edward if you tell me who she was."

I looked into her blue eyes, sad to admit this, but it was so true. I pulled my hands through my hair again in frustration. She caught me cheating so what would ever stop Edward from seeing it, too? I had no hopes of ever finding A again because it would just end up ruining both of us.

"It doesn't matter, but I have no fucking clue."

**A/N: **

**Review it :D **

**-Dee**


	3. Brown Eyes

**A/N: So another revised chapter by my lovely beta Shabbacabba. :) **

**Chapter Three**

**Brown Eyes**

**(Apov)**

Sweet Lord in heaven. What have I done?

I woke up, right beside the most beautiful woman I had ever seen in my entire life, and it all came back to me. This girl and I had a fling last night, probably the most arousing experience of my life, and I was still so stunned by her. I let my hands run down her perfect body and I felt wetness rush down to my loins when she moaned and turned into my touch. If I recalled the night, she even whispered as I held her close to my chest that that was the best birthday she ever had. Poor girl. Ignored by her fiancé on her birthday. I kissed her sexy pink nipples one more time, let them linger on her cheek and then press very softly to her lips. She still did not wake, just curled up further into my arms.

Brown Eyes had a rather interesting apartment: totally one I'd expect from an artist in New York. There wasn't even food in the fridge to give me an excuse to stay beside her longer. I looked around and saw pictures of her with a man I assumed was the one she spoke of last night. He was very good looking, but only in the pictures where they were much younger did she look so in love with him. His eyes were always lit up when she was around but one from a couple months ago at an art expo I wanted so badly to go to, showed her misery. I felt for her. Brown Eyes looked so sad as he held her and kissed her cheek, but she was smiling anyway. That told me she was self-sacrificing and did things because she knew they made other people happy. Well last night she certainly did something for herself. Something I was very happy to give her and would do again in a heart beat.

_Brown Eyes, _

_Last night was amazing. My advice on the man you spoke about last night, leave him. You deserve someone who is gonna rock that fine body from NY to LA and treat you like the fucking sex goddess you are._

_I'll see you around._

_-A_

I wrote out the note that I hoped she took my advice from it, because I was in the same situation and I wanted so badly to tell the man I was supposed to marry that I didn't want to. In many ways our situations were the same, but in my case my parents were making me marry the guy they promised my hand. But now all I wanted was to be beside this girl, even though I didn't know her name and there was nothing around the apartment to give it to me. After giving her no more than the first initial of my name, I sighed sadly and left the beautiful girl behind me, but not before taking a piece of her with me. She had a random dark purple sweatshirt from New York University hanging off her bed that I stole. It smelled like her perfume, and would probably get me through the rest of my life happily. I shoved it in my bag and took one last look around. I would miss her.

We could never meet again: that much was certain. Jasper would find out and probably murder me for even touching a woman in such a way. He was one of those right wing Texans that believed in the sanctity of marriage or some garbage. Come on, it's the twenty first century, we live on one night stands here in the big apple. The truth was, I always sort of liked women more than men, and now I had found the perfect girl for me, but we were both supposed to be married soon. When my phone buzzed, signaling Jasper's arrival at out brownstone in Manhattan, I caught a cab. I would remember this building in case I ever got free from the jail I called my life. Maybe she would want me back too and we could run away together...A girl could dream, right?

It didn't take too long to get back home from The Village, but I always wished that I lived there. I hated Manhattan and the rich neighborhood I was forced to live in. I missed my dinky apartment in the Village, too. The honey blonde man standing at the door in a suit sighed in exasperation as I put my keys in the bowl by the door.

"Alice you're late!" Jasper scolded me as I slid my heels off, "I thought I was going to have to go without you. You look awful! Go take a shower and get that booze smell off of you. I've already set out what you're to wear to this party. It's too prestigious for a dress like that," he barked, but I was already half way up the marble stairs. I rolled my eyes and stuck my tongue out when I was sure he could no longer see me, and I sighed. Welcome to my fucking life. I threw my clothes in the hamper and stepped into the most amazing shower my back had known. I was surprised he didn't smell the girl all over me, because I certainly did. I hated to wash it off: I wanted to cover myself in my blankets with a good vibrator and just let her scent turn me on for the rest of my life. But things were never that simple. Not for me.

I grumbled at the overly conservative dress Jasper had picked out, but put it on anyway. It was black and covered my entire chest, leaving my back exposed. Who thought backs were sexy? I absolutely refused to wear an ugly pearl necklace he set beside it. I was twenty-two, not fifty. I didn't even want to go to this stupid charity event with his family. I worked for a newspaper, in the commitments and wedding sections, which I loved, and this was all about doctors and boring businesses. I really hated that my parents promised me to this man without my consent. We were total opposites. The only thing we both had in common was our love for sex – lots and lots of sex. That was the only thing Jasper was good for, but even now it was getting dull and didn't even compare to what I had with Brown Eyes.

"Come on, hurry up. We're already late." He fretted, looking down at his watch as I got into the Mercedes. I knew that already, but that didn't mean I wasn't dragging my kitten heels across the pavement before we jolted off toward the building where this was all taking place. I hadn't noticed it was already two in the afternoon, but I smiled at the memories in my mind.

She tasted so good, felt so right in my hands, and I never wanted to let her go. Which was strange because I had done this sort of thing before, but I never felt the instant connection to any of the other girls before Brown Eyes. She was just something else entirely, something I needed in this bleak puddle of mud I called my life.

We arrived, and everyone greeted him like they had known him forever. They were just a bunch of kiss asses in my opinion, but I'd never be allowed to say so. Jasper held onto my hand as we moved down the line of people and finally sat beside his parents at a table toward the front. I had no appetite, so I downed a few Dr. Pepper's before the auction started. He and his parents were old money, always throwing their billions around and letting people see that they were important. I didn't care about status though: my family was an upper class one from Biloxi Mississippi and I assumed that was why my dad wanted me to be with Jasper. They were both businessmen and I was just another deal they sealed and closed together. Stupid.

I found myself daydreaming about her. I imagined us sitting back on a piece of land somewhere, laughing and holding each other in the grass. I wished I was in her arms right now, not because of the sex, but because she made me feel loved. Somehow. I couldn't even explain it to myself but I had never been so loved in my life when her lips and touches met my body. I longed for it, even thought it had only been a few hours that we'd been apart.

Jasper ended up buying an art collection: a rather ugly one that made me wish he could see how well Brown Eyes painted. When I was at her apartment I saw a picture of a black and gray mime with the most detailed gray crying eyes. She was smiling, but crying at the same time and it was beautiful. I wished I had that kind of talent. He didn't even pay attention to me as I excused myself when my phone rang. One of my best friends was calling me, and I couldn't disappoint her. Unlike me and Brown Eyes, she was getting married and she was overly excited for it.

"Hey Rose, what's up?" I asked as I settled on the counter inside of the bathroom.

"Nothing much, Ally. Just going over to my friend Bella's apartment because I haven't seen her since last night...hey are you still coming to the bachelorette party next week?" Rose, always calling and assuming I was going to miss any thing that involved booze and dancing in her club.

"Of course I'll be there. I was at your place last night, but I didn't see you." I left out picking up a sexy woman, because Rose knew about Jasper. Emmett, her fiancé, was one of his good friends from college and we met that way. She didn't like Jasper too much, but he and Emmett seemed to enjoy football games together.

"Well, I was drunk and probably didn't notice you either. I've got to go, I'm getting fucking pulled over. I'll call you tomorrow, love." she said goodbye unfortunately, and I hung up as well. Well at least I had something to look forward to next week. I had a wedding to do tomorrow, but those were almost never any fun. I just interviewed the couple and put their announcements and photos in the paper, it wasn't very exciting. Who knew, maybe I would see Brown Eyes at the club again because I certainly wasn't going to be able to get away from Jasper and go there any time before that.

I went back out to the man I would spend the rest of my life with. But Brown Eyes was the only thing on my mind as he pulled me down to sit beside him obediently. I shut my eyes, remembering the way she smiled at me as I kissed down her perfect body, and I was just alright with being in a room surrounded by people I hated. I had her in my mind again, and that was all that I needed for now.

**A/N: **

**Love this whole having someone to correct my mistakes. It's rad lol. **

**Review it :D**

**-Dee**


	4. Hallucinations

**Chapter Four**

**Hallucinations **

**(Bpov)**

Rose left my apartment after a few more questions and making me relive the best night of my life – in detail. She told me she wished she had the courage I did to even think about cheating on Emmett, but also that she never would because he was seriously gifted in the dick area. That only made my eye twitch and my stomach turn though. I had cheated on Edward, not because he wasn't seriously gifted down there because he was, but because I didn't feel any passion from him anymore. He didn't care about me anymore – just the title I would bring him. Husband. Lover. _Owner._

I sighed deeply and went back to smoking the Native American tobacco Charlie sent me a while ago from Forks. It helped immensely in relieving stress, but so did the warm lemongrass scented water in the bathtub around me. There's something about being naked in hot water that just instantly soothed my tired mind and muscles. Toby came in, meowing and rubbing against my hand as he sat beside the tub. He was the only stable thing I knew anymore – except take out and romance movies. Which I had sitting on the counter waiting for me to spend my night with. It beat thinking about what I had done to my fiancé and to a sweet girl last night, that was for sure.

I wrapped myself up in a towel, drained the tub, and pulled on some shorts and a tank top to sleep in even though it was only five in the afternoon. I had the blinds pulled closed across the big bay window in the living room, and my Chinese food was still hot as I sat on the couch to enjoy one of my favorite movies of all time. At least watching Louis and Lestat live their immortal lives took me away from my own. I was an artist in the art capital of the world, but somehow I still lived in a dinky apartment in the village. Alone. Life was confusing, but even more so when I heard an unexpected knock at my door.

I looked through the small hole, and with a perplexed expression, opened the door. "I thought you had class?"

Edward stepped in when I walked away from the door and back to my spot on the sofa. "It was canceled so I am free for the entire evening and part of tomorrow," he sat beside me and wrapped an arm through mine, "did Rose ever come over?"

"Yes. I'm invited to her bachelorette party on Saturday and she was too busy to sit back and watch Interview With The Vampire for the millionth time in her life." I grinned over at him, and rested my head on his shoulder. Edward wasn't so bad when he wasn't busy and I did enjoyed his company.

"Awesome, Emmett is having his on the same night so I will be occupied at a strip club. Hope you don't mind?" He grimaced at the thought of some sweaty vanilla scented woman rubbing all against him and I giggled.

"No, I really don't mind. You have fun with the dancing naked women. I know Rose wants hers at her club so you don't have to worry about strippers all over _me_ at least." I rolled my eyes when his narrowed in jealousy. He didn't like that Rose and I went to her club so often, but he could deal with it. Most of the time we were stuck in the VIP room upstairs anyway and no one bothered us. Those were the perks of being the owner, I supposed.

"Don't give me those narrowed eyes, Edward Masen. Chill, I'll be back by midnight, I'm sure." I waved off his black demeanor as best as I could without starting a fight. He was always like that when Rose and I went out alone – and I didn't know why, but I understood him now. I had cheated and he had every right to be suspicious, but not of men. I almost laughed at my own thoughts, but I kept quiet because it was a bit sad that I was doing this to him.

Truth was, I didn't really care if Edward cheated on me, and I was quite sure he had before with Tanya and a few other girls. That was the reason he was so jealous of men being around me because he thought I was just like he was. But up until last night, I wasn't. I think that's when I stopped loving Edward: when I saw him making out with some random girl in his apartment when I was supposed to be on a trip with Rose to Paris. I came home early, crying and screaming at him because my heart had been broken. Now, a few years later, my heart was healing and falling for another brand new woman that I didn't even know.

It was later that night, after Edward had his way with me over and over again, that I found myself thinking and hoping for Saturday. Maybe Rose was right and booze would help me forget A, but I doubted it. I was uncomfortable because I fell asleep in the wrong arms, felt the wrong body pressed up against mine, and wanted so much more out of my life than mediocre sex and a loveless marriage. I found myself hoping that my life would be much less complicated when I did manage to forget the best one night stand ever.

But I really doubted it would be.

When I woke the next morning, rolled over Edward, and got into the shower, I felt that insane amount of arousal take over and my fingers lolled around my soft folds as the hot water blasted over my body. I bit back moans as I dipped my fingers inside of my tight wet core, thinking of Alice's pink tongue rolling over and tasting all I had to offer. My free hand went down to pinch my tight nipples while my hips bucked unconsciously into my experienced hand. When my eyes opened I gasped. I could see her, kneeling in front of me and ravishing every bit of me with that sexy tongue. Whatever sick, fucked up fantasy caused this, I'd take it. I felt the tight knot in my stomach release and my toes curled as I let out one soft whimper of ecstasy. When I opened my eyes, she was gone and I was standing along in my shower, a warm liquid pooling in my fingers as I panted and wished for more.

"Hey baby, I have to get out of here," Edward voice startled me and I jumped, "can I call you later?"

I felt myself nodding as the epiphany neared, and my voice was soft. "S-sure. I'll see you later."

"I love you," he sighed as he pulled his jeans on and yanked a shirt over his head. He was too rushed to realize I didn't say it back and when the front door slammed, I grinned to myself.

If I could make A come back, my life would be absolute bliss. I shut my eyes, remembering what her sexy budded nipples looked like as she ran her hands down her skinny body and when I opened them again, I could see her. Standing before me. That tobacco must have had something in it.

"Hey," I whispered, feeling douchy for talking to myself, but when she put her finger to my lips and started kissing down my body, my eyes shut and I was in my happy place. After a few more insane orgasms, I let my hallucinatory woman go back in my mind, and stepped out of my shower, sighing happily.

Note to self: Thank Charlie for the "smokes" and ask for more.

I had to go walk the neighborhood dogs this morning and that would take up most of my time and thought. I dressed warmly, thanking the boot gods for the fake sheepskin boots warming my toes, and went out into the cool September afternoon. Oh joy. An hour through the park picking up dog droppings and muttering to myself. What a long week this would be.

It was, except for that any spare time I had I was with my hallucinations. Edward, mercifully, was busy all week, and I had my apartment to myself. Needless to say, I didn't leave my bed except to shower, make money, and paint sometimes. The vision of her was fading, as was her smell in my bed, and it made my smiles turn from happy to melancholy. Soon there would be nothing left of her at all.

As of late, my paintings were taking on a delicate nature. I found myself painting her soft curves, memorizing the light blue of her eyes. At first I was just sketching, but I took out a large canvas and actually started painting her in the only way I knew her – nude. She was beautiful as she ran her hands through her messy hair, crossed her legs on my bed, and stared out the windows with a soft smile. So that was just what I drew. And when I was done, even Rose raised her eyebrows at it in appreciation.

She took it in her hands and looked at it closer. "That's beautiful, Bella. Who is it?"

I shrugged. "Just a memory of someone who doesn't exist." I lied, but she saw through it.

"So what, you've just taken up drawing nudes all of a sudden?" she laughed, setting it down as Edward opened the door. He stared at it strangely, shrugged, and came to my side as I pulled on some jeans.

"Sexy naked ladies plague your mind too?" he asked, kissing my neck as I stood up straight and rolled my eyes at him. He was such a freak sometimes, but this time, he wasn't far off the mark.

"Only when you're away," I had to be becoming a master of lying because he just smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist, "so is Emmett waiting for you?"

He nodded, "yeah, I wanna walk with you though." I saw his eyes darken and I knew this was a predatory thing – even if there were just women around this party.

Rose cut in before the fight began, "Bells, come on. Get dressed, get moving, and let's go!" Rose clapped as I finished putting on a white Team Bride tank top. Rose and her craziness she was making all of the girls, except her, wear this tank top with Team Bride on the front and Emmett and Rosalie: The Wedding on the back. It was quite humorous, even for Rosalie. She had one that said Bride and Emmett had one that said Groom. As if they could forget that.

I spent my entire week zoning out in front of the TV except for the one day I actually painted something. I walked the dogs during the day and when Edward wasn't around I lost myself in the scent of A that lingered on my pillows and sheets. Edward came over last night though, like he couldn't get enough of me all of a sudden. Maybe it was because I imagined his dick as A's fingers and tongue and moaned loudly in response to his touches. Maybe it was because he actually loved me now and had some spare time. It didn't matter what it was, my hallucinations of her were getting me by and if I could hold onto them for the rest of my life, we'd be good. Whatever the cause, it was getting a bit peculiar. He was even here to say goodbye to me before I went off to the party.

"I'll see you tomorrow, kay?" he asked, rubbing up and down my back as I embraced him.

Empty promises. He wouldn't be here because tomorrow he'd blow me off saying he was too busy. I'd heard the whole "tomorrow" speech a million times. Tomorrow never worked out that way. We left my apartment after I locked the door and we were out into the cold September weather. I pulled my blazer tighter around my body. "Mhm. Later," I waved, looking at the doors of the club anxiously before Emmett arrived. I happened to know that tonight he and Emmett were going away to Atlantic City with one of his friend's from down south somewhere. They were flying to get home by tomorrow – if they came home at all. With Emmett it was hard to say if they would. He had a lot of money and nothing to spend it on.

Then, just as I was going to give up hope of saying goodbye to the groom, his tall muscular body was like a wall in front of me. I looked up into his blue eyes and smirked when he did, exposing his dimples around his cute face. Emmett was one of a kind that was for sure. As long as he made my Rose happy, I was more than welcoming to the big oaf being her husband. He was one of my best friends after all, and if he ever hurt her he knew I'd murder him in his sleep.

"Hey Bells," Emmett scooped me up into his arms and hugged the life out of me, "how are you?" he asked when he set me down and I could breathe again. Emmett was always like my big brother, even if he was a bit dull and didn't realize Edward wasn't what I wanted like a real brother would have. I still loved him like one though.

We knuckle bumped. "I'm good, better now that I'm gonna get my drink on," I laughed with him, just as a shiny black Mercedes showed up. Edward kissed me when the door opened, blocking me from seeing who it was. He pulled away, told me he loved me and that they'd be back tomorrow afternoon. I smirked as he patted Emmett on the shoulder and walked away from me, clicking away on his phone once again. For a moment, my mind was furious that he blew me off for a phone, but I gave up and looked back to the nice car. It looked far too fancy for my crowd, so I followed Rose inside, only to look back and see a honey blonde man get out and embrace Emmett.

"Oh, that will be Alice and her fiancé Jasper. Give her one will you?" Rose gestured to the shirts as she ordered a few drinks. The woman was still in the car so I grabbed one of the shirts and went out to give it to her. Jasper seemed like one of those high and mighty Christian folks from Texas so I avoided his hard stare and helped the woman out of the car when she raised a hand.

I hadn't been paying attention, but the spark inside of my hand should have given it away. Our eyes met, my heart stopped, and her mouth dropped open. "You," we whispered simultaneously as we continued to gape at each other. It was her! It was most definitely her! A was one of Rosalie's friends and she was here at this freaking party, holding my hand as shock took us both over.

"Alice," I remembered her name and she nodded, a bit teary eyed until Jasper came over and pushed our hands apart.

"Hello Miss, this is my fiancée Alice Brandon, and I am Jasper Whitlock. Pleasure to meet you." he shook my hand as I blinked away the shock. She was...in the same situation I was. She was engaged to a man I could tell didn't make her happy. He didn't even pay attention to the way she was so nervous as our hands met. She bit her lip as she looked at me with teary blue eyes so etched into my mind I'd know them anywhere.

"Hello," she shook my hand, making warmth spread down to my loins when she smiled, "what's your name?" her eyes spoke all of the words she couldn't in the presence of the lanky, lingering Texan. She had been agonizing over me all this time, too.

I took her hands, smiling wide at her as my stomach flopped happily and nervously at the same time. She was blushing when the man walked back over to Emmett, but I still kept the conversation light. "Bella. I'm Bella Swan. I'm so happy to have finally met you, Alice Brandon."

**A/N:**

**My beta Shabbacabba has pointed out a very obvious flaw in my writing. Okay, so if some of you aren't aware, I go from sweet 1918 Epov in one story to sexy Apov/Bpov in this story. It's hard, so please understand if I use the words "cannot" instead of "can't" or "I am" instead of "I'm" too much. Sorry! Really, I am going to stop because I've decided to write both my Bellice stories on the same day and save the BxE for every other day. :D **

**Review it!**

**-Dee**


	5. The Janitor's Closet

**A/N: Real quick, there are some hardcore lemons in this one. Basically, just smut. Like, super fu*king hardcore. :) As always, mature readers only. And thank you Shabbacabba for editing this and finding it ironic that I edited the author's note. :D**

**Chapter Five**

**The Janitor's Closet**

**(Bpov)**

I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was absolutely stunning, even wearing a baggy tank top over her black camisole. She looked just as she did in my dreams, in my fucking hallucinations, my shower times, and I missed her. The men had gone already and we were just standing on the sidewalk together, not really caring if people saw us staring into each others eyes. It was when Rose pushed us inside, that I saw her sad blue eyes look at mine hopelessly, and our hands dropped. I wasn't having any of that though, and I sought her out amongst the screaming, cheering drunk bridesmaids to be. Alice Brandon. I would remember the name forever – search for her forever if I had to. One touch brought back all kinds of lost feelings inside of me and I wanted more. I needed more.

"Bella, what are you looking for?" Rose yelled over the music, bumping my hip with hers as my eyes scanned the room.

"Nothing," I shouted back and ordered a drink, "go party, girl! It's your night – live it up!" I laughed when she nodded and downed an entire margarita in one gulp. She kissed my cheek before going out into the middle of the dozens of women and men that our boys didn't know about.

I found myself wandering though the bar, searching as best as I could for the pixie woman that was haunting my thoughts so thoroughly. But I found nothing; no trace of her, no scent of her exotic patchouli perfume, and no sight of those sad blue eyes. They were so sad, just like mine. She was in pain, not on the outside, but on the inside – just like me again. Jasper brought her pain like Edward brought me pain and I wanted to strangle him for it. I felt hands touch my hips seductively and I turned swiftly to see Alice standing a good four inches below me, but right in front of me. She was so beautiful, even in the dark VIP room above the shouting women below I had ventured into. Her pale skin was glowing in the neon purple and red lights.

I ran my hands down her cheeks and she did the same as we both memorized each other. I was not drunk this time, and I could really appreciate how gorgeous she was. She was a fucking goddess wrapped up in a pixie package and the way her eyes shone when they met mine let me know she had thought of me too: often. Her lips were suddenly feverish on mine, her body pressed up against mine roughly, and our hands snaked through each others hair as the moaning began. Her voice was like music as she pushed me back further away from the party. I didn't want to be seen, and I didn't want people to see me attacking her with my tongue. Most of these women knew me and Edward and it would be bad if they saw anything.

"Fuck I missed you," I gasped when her lips moved to my neck, sucking and biting down on the sensitive skin there.

She grinned, taking my lips in hers again and shoving me up against the wall in the darker room. "I missed you too, baby. I couldn't get my mind off of that night," I kissed down her neck as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and started taking off her shirt, "I want you." She sighed when my fingers met her nipples. I was groaning when our mouths met again, bringing a flash of wetness to my sex.

I opened a door, not realizing where we were going, but when a few women wandered up here we needed to get away from their prying eyes. I locked the door, but found myself shrouded in total darkness, but I was still attached to Alice so it didn't matter much.

"Where are we?" she panted when my hands fumbled with her jeans.

I looked around, still finding no relief and felt the wall for a switch. There was a dim light above us and we both chuckled when we saw the Janitor's closet and lounge. It was still dark in the room, but much less now and when I saw a dark blue couch in the corner, I shoved her down onto it gently. She didn't question me but started taking my shirt off of my shoulders. I moaned when her lips met my nipples and her hands roamed down my body.

"Alice, please," I begged, yanking off my jeans and lying with her on the small sofa. She nodded and got on top of me, hungrily kissing across my breasts as her small hips ground into mine. Her wet core was hot against mine through the thin fabric of our underwear, and my fingers slid past them to feel her soft skin. She groaned loudly when my skilled fingers rubbed against her clit, bringing back all of the electric feelings we had before. I hadn't been paying attention, but it was just like it was before and I was already so wet with desire I couldn't form a coherent thought unless it had to do with my tongue all over her.

"You like that?" I asked huskily as she began thrusting into my touch erratically.

"Just like that," she whimpered heatedly, kissing my lips as her moans grew louder and her own hand moved to my throbbing sex and she started shoving her little fingers in and out of me. I gasped, pulling her smirking face close to mine again as we kissed. I could have come right there just watching her beautiful brow puckered in concentration as she moved down my body and started taking my underwear off.

When her pink tongue flicked across my clit and she bit down gently, my back arched and I moaned in pleasure as the tight orgasm in my stomach made itself known and wetness pooled across her fingers. She looked at me as she licked every last one of them, and I tackled her down, needing to taste her after so long without it. She gasped when I threw her underwear across the room, forgotten with the rest of our clothes and devoured her sweet pink center eagerly. I groaned at the taste, my tongue memorizing it and savoring it for a rainy day. She begged for more when my tongue stud ran across her and I gave in unthinkingly.

She whimpered my name as her orgasm peaked, my fingers delved deep inside of her, greedily trying to remember the way she came and just how good it felt to taste her on my tongue. She gripped my hair tight as she panted and nearly shouted my name out loud, spilling her exotic juices all over my tongue and fingers. Fucking Alice Brandon was the most amazing lover I had ever had, even if it only took me ten minutes with her to cum my brains out. We both fell in a heap of limbs and gasping lungs beside each other on the small sofa and I pulled her close to my chest. She reached up, looked into my eyes as if she was dazed, and kissed my lips softly with hers. The fire was still hot across my skin, but the sex monster inside of me was satisfied again, and the sweet Bella had come back in its absence.

"Alice," I whispered again when we parted, "I'll never, ever forget your name." I sighed as she turned over to face me and wrapped her arms around my middle.

"Bella, I won't forget yours either. I am so sorry to have run away from you-"

"It's fine," I interrupted, "I really understand why you did now, you little minx. I'd run away if Jasper was who I was engaged to as well." She rolled her eyes and snorted while I smirked.

I pulled her close to me when I saw sadness in her eyes and held her tighter. "You have no idea. I can't stand him, Bella. I've been missing you, getting through the past week with my thoughts of you, and losing myself in my memories. I can't do that again, I'm sorry."

She felt it, too. Just like I did. "I won't ask you to. Alice I've thought about you everyday, shit hallucinated that you were with me because I can't stand my fucking life," we sat up and she curled up in my lap. Still completely naked and way too tempting.

"Well," she was working over things in her mind, "how about we just tell everyone we're friends, but when we're alone we can be something more? I know you can't leave Edward and I certainly can't leave Jasper, but we can be much less miserable together. Especially if they think we're friends." What a brilliant mind the little pixie had. It was the perfect plan – we could act like girlfriends in the sense of friendship, but like lovers at the same time and no one would be any the wiser.

I kissed her cheek sweetly, making her blush, "perfect plan, Ally." She smiled at the nickname and rested her head against my chest.

She kissed and flicked her tongue across my nipple seductively, looking at me through her thick eyelashes wistfully. "Round two?" I whispered, snaking my hand down to her thigh and pinching the soft skin I felt there.

"Definitely."

After another mind blowing, earth shaking round of incredible sex with Alice, we straightened out our clothes and shared one last long kiss. I loved the way her small tongue lolled lazily against mine as her body clung to mine. She moaned when I gripped her ass and pulled it up toward my hips, making us both horny again. She pulled away, still holding onto the back of my neck. "Might as well go out and enjoy ourselves. Rose will notice the maid of honor has gone missing if we stay away for too long." She sighed and hugged me close again, slipping her phone number into my bra.

"Don't think I am letting you go for the rest of the night," I laughed, pulling her arm through mine when we came out of the closet, literally, and found ourselves alone on the balcony. She brought me down again for one last kiss, seducing me with that sexy way her tongue flicked across my tongue ring.

"Damn the things you can do with that mouth," she growled, pushing me against the wall again, "have you been with other women before?" She didn't seem jealous as she asked, but her eyes bugged out when I gave her my answer.

"Never. I've only ever been with Edward," I explained and her face turned soft.

She ran her hands down the sides of my face, all of the lust gone from her movements, "then baby whenever we are alone again I am going to show you what it feels like to be worshiped. I'm only sorry your first time was drunk with me instead of incredibly slow and in love with the person you adore." She blushed and moved away, but I grabbed her hand to keep her from leaving.

"It was the most amazing experience of my life because I do adore you. I don't know why, but I wouldn't want it any other way," I assured her and her smile returned.

She took my hand as we went back to the party and found Rose doing Jell-o shots off a stripper's stomach. She licked up his body, squealing in delight with the other women as Alice and I laughed at the scene. She was totally wasted and she'd only been here for an hour – tops. She caught me, giggling madly as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and kissed my cheek. "Come on, it's cake time! I'm hungry!" she called to the crowd and everyone, except Alice and me because we were dragging her, moved to the table. There was a huge penis cake lying there and I snorted because it was just so Rosalie I couldn't even believe it.

"Can you believe these aren't the biggest balls I've seen today?" Rose chuckled, getting a good chortle and shiver from Alice and I as we pictured Emmett naked. Everyone else seemed just as drunk as she was and found it humorous.

Rose raised a glass of whiskey, silencing the crowd of women effectively. "To my Emmett and the end of my single days. But most of all," she sighed, looking up with a sappy smile, "to love!"

Everyone smiled, except Alice and I, and I raised my glass. "Fuck that," Rose looked over at me like she was amused, "to lust!" I cheered, getting a loud reaction from the women and Rosalie. She kissed my cheek and went on to grab some cake while I winked at Alice from across the table.

"Lots and lots of lust," she whispered as she slid over to me and licked the spot below my ear when no one was looking. Rose led everyone back to the dance floor and the live band, even Alice I, and we shared a few intimate touches between all the jumping around and grinding.

When the night came to a close, after a few people passed out around ten, many women started to leave with their gifts. Rose greeted them at the door, thanking everyone for making this night so special, and Alice and I helped her to her apartment that, fortunately, wasn't far from here. She was passed out when we got her to the bed, and Alice sighed happily. She came over and wrapped her arms around my neck, bringing me close to her again.

"So, sexy lady, our men are still in Atlantic City, and I'm sure they won't be home until very late tomorrow..." she hinted, raising her eyebrows when I smirked down at her.

"Miss Alice, would you like to see my fucking apartment in the god damn Village?" I mimicked my drunken angry voice and she laughed delightedly, nodding to me as we locked Rose's apartment door. Her apartment was a good thousand feet bigger than mine – all paid for by how much people in this town loved to drink.

I pushed Alice up against my door, feeling a strange sense of Deja Vu as I locked it, looking into her eyes. I was completely sober this time and all of the feelings came back in a quick rush to my panties. "Will you stay this time?" I asked as I picked her up and she wrapped her skinny legs around my waist, kissing my neck and taking my shirt off as I walked to my bed.

"I promise," she panted when I threw her down on my bed and kissed down her stomach, licking the exposed skin above her jeans.

I tore the button off, an idea fresh in my head as I rummaged through my drawer and pulled out the bra to show her I'd kept at least a little part of her with me all this time. She laughed, throwing it down to the ground with the rest of her clothes and decided that I was wearing too many layers for it to be decent. She ran her tongue down my body, licking and lapping at every exposed surface she could find. Her moan was almost primal as she dipped her fingers inside of me and her tongue went to work at the slick wet folds of my pussy. She lied on top of me, but I wouldn't have it. I pushed her down, running my hand across my dripping wet core as my tongue devoured her warm pink lips and ran across the bud of her clit.

"Shit," she panted as my mouth twirled around her, "fucking god, Bella just like that," she grabbed my hair, almost painfully, but it brought more dampness onto my fingers and made me move faster. My moans sent shivers of pleasure up her when they vibrated against her tender skin. I rubbed against myself, needing release like I needed the air in the forgotten world around us. She panted, groaning and begging as my tongue brought her over the edge again. I loved tasting her sweet bitter cum in my mouth, but when she growled and shoved me into the bed, I gasped.

She let her fingers run across my slick clit, rubbing it and moaning when my hands traveled to her hard nipples. I could feel my orgasm building, wanting to be released, and it did just that as Alice's cold lips met my nipples and she bit down hard, sending all the right kinds of shocks through my body. "Alice, I'm-" I stopped short, moaning out when my back arched and my toes curled tightly when the amazing wave of red hot pleasure spread across my body.

She fell back, licking her fingers clean, and smiled at me as I took her in my arms. "You are a fucking sex goddess, Alice." I panted, kissing her forehead as she covered us up with a thick blanket.

She grinned, rolling on top of me and pressed her warm pussy against me again, rolling her hips with mine until I was whimpering again. "You haven't seen anything yet, baby. Maybe later we can put that vibrator to good use and I'll blow your fucking mind."

**A/N: **

**hehe :) I'm sorry. I had to give you two long ass lemons, it's a smut fic! :D**

**Review it. **

**-Dee**


	6. Men Are Dicks

**A/N: Another special thanks to my padawan Shabbacabba for editing all this. :) **

**Chapter Six**

**Men Are Dicks **

**(Bpov)**

I woke up to another cold New York morning, and I could smell Alice's exotic sultry perfume around us. She was spooning me and I tightened my arms around her happily. Last night had to be the best night of my life, well the second best compared to the night we met, and I was still high from the intense multiple orgasm experience that was Alice Brandon. She had magical lips and fingers, but that hot pink tongue drove me insane. I kissed her shoulder and opened my eyes to find we were not alone.

Edward stood, his eyebrow quirked as he took in the scene of me lying in a tank top and underwear beside a sexy woman he'd never met. "Have fun last night? You could have told me you were having a friend over, I wouldn't have came," he whispered when my eyes widened in panic. He wasn't pissed. He was fucking smiling away, sipping a coffee, and he'd just caught me in bed with another woman...who he thought was my friend. I climbed over her so I could try and explain, but she didn't stir anyway.

"Aren't you supposed to be in Atlantic City?" I whispered. I wrapped my arms around my body, cursing the fact that I couldn't find my NYU sweatshirt to cover myself up with. It felt awkward having him staring at me like that, even though he was my boyfriend: it made me feel unfaithful to the woman lying in my bed.

He nodded and pulled me close by my underwear. I blushed, but walked over to him and let his hands dip past them. "I was, but I wanted to come home because I missed my Bella. Who is that, anyway?" He asked as he bit down on my neck, making goose bumps appear across my skin. Not because I was turned on, but because I didn't want Ally to wake up and see him all over me. She'd feel so hurt.

I stepped away from him and made a pot of coffee in the tiny kitchen. He followed close behind though, and I could feel his dick poking me in the butt as he wrapped his arms around my middle. "She's Alice. I met her yesterday and she lives so far away I thought I'd let her stay the night," I explained quietly, lying my ass off in the process.

He nodded, "yeah, she's Jasper's almost wife, person right? He talked about her last night before I got out of there." He kissed my neck and moved my hair away so he could rest his head there. I almost shivered from his touches, but I held them back. I didn't want him to know something was off with me, and if I shied away from his touch too much he'd definitely know.

"Yep. Come on Edward, company. If she wakes up and finds you with your hands down my underwear she'll never want to come over again. We may be sexy, but I think even our sex would scar her for life," I joked, getting a pat on the ass from him before he walked away. His phone rang and Alice sat up hurriedly, looking around like she was terrified.

"Am I late?" she mumbled, frantically grabbing her jeans. I stopped her movements gently and when she saw my face, she relaxed with a smile. Her lips met mine and I was so glad Edward was too distracted to see me almost lose myself in it, but I pulled away quickly and nodding toward the door. Her eyes were wide and she stepped out of bed, stretching and showing off her glorious body that was only wrapped in a thin camisole. Edward noticed too and he had to look away from the sight of us hugging.

"Hello, I'm Alice. You must be Edward, the guy I've heard so much about." She shook his hand after pulling on some jeans. I hoped he didn't smell sex all over her like my nose did, but even if he did, he didn't seem phased by it. He shook her hand like a gentleman and gave no second though to the way she stepped back and hooked her arm with mine. He thought it was friendly; just like she suspected he would.

"Please to meet you Alice," he smiled and looked over at me, "your fiancé was wondering where you were when we returned last night." Her eyes got wide and she grabbed her jacket quickly. I didn't like how she looked so impossibly afraid of that, and had a sinking feeling that Jasper might not have been the man he appeared to be in public. She kissed my cheek quickly, flashing a smile.

"Then I should get home, Bella last night was fun. Call me again sometime and we can hang out." Edward waved, and when he turned his back, she blew me a kiss that I caught inconspicuously and placed to my lips. She shut the door, hurrying off into the cold morning. I wanted to follow her.

"Hey, is Jasper pretty 'hands-y' if you know what I mean?" I asked Edward when he picked up and apple and bit into it. He frowned, shaking his head no, but the sinking suspicion in my chest won out and I grabbed my own jeans and a coat. He stopped me when I got to the door.

I kissed his cheek, settling his worry, "I'm going to get some breakfast and walk the dogs. Make yourself at home, love." I tried to sound loving enough so that he would let me go. It worked because he kissed my lips, handed me my favorite boots, and plopped down on the couch. Little did Edward know though, I wouldn't be walking the dogs today or even tomorrow. I was going to catch Alice because her address was still scribbled on a piece of paper in the kitchen.

She was already off the block, but her home was miles away. I took a cab, weaved through some side streets, and found myself at a lovely upscale neighborhood. I jogged through the streets full of people, through a few alley ways, and finally was on the right street. It was like a different universe from where my apartment was. She lived in a nice neighborhood, a fucking very nice neighborhood, but it wasn't very "Alice" to me. The brownstone I could see from my position across the street was three stories tall and obviously remodeled sometime recently. I saw the black Mercedes from Rose's party and knew I was in the right place. My Alice would be so miserable behind the iron gates beside the sidewalk. It made my heart ache to know she lived here.

Alice arrived, seconds later, in a taxi. She looked like she was fretting about something and I wanted to go up to her and kiss away all the worry, but before I could Jasper came out of their house. And he was furious. "Alice, what the fuck? I told you to be home last night to finish my laundry and be ready for the meeting I have with the board today," he shouted, and anger filled me when she looked down sheepishly, wringing her fingers.

She looked back up at him and started to apologize for nothing, "Jasper I'm sorry my friend and I were really drunk and she let me stay at her place so I wouldn't get hurt or-" he grabbed her shoulders roughly and shoved her in the house. She complained that he was hurting her, but it didn't stop him. My heart raced and I had to keep my feet from sprinting to her aide. I almost intervened and kicked his teeth out for hurting her, but that would blow our cover.

"I don't care Alice just go and get-" the door slammed and the conversation was silent to me. I threw my iPod on the ground angrily, knowing it wouldn't break and started pacing. That fucking prick hurt her! He grabbed her like she was a fucking rag doll and treated her worse than shit in front of the entire city block. I couldn't even imagine what he did to her inside of that hellish house. I grabbed my iPod and sat on the bus stop bench just outside of their house, pulling up my hood so if they came out Alice wouldn't recognize me. I had to be sure she was alright until they were with other people.

Edward was still oblivious to mine and Alice's festive behavior last night, and I wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible. I licked those rocking curves last night, tasted her sweet pink nipples in my mouth, felt the softness of her slick folds, so incredibly turned on by my fingers, and wanted more already. She was the fantasy I'd always wanted, and never had.

"Jasper, stop please," Alice pleaded, breaking my thoughts away from last night and bringing me back into the present. He was holding her arm again, roughly, but this time he let her go when she struggled and got into the car. I fought back growls when she wiped away tears of pain, but when they were out of sight, I was on my way again. A girl wearing ripped up black jeans, an Avenged Sevenfold tank top, with a worn out jacket wasn't welcomed among the snob neighborhoods on this side of town.

Edward was still at home when I got in, and he hugged me tightly with a smirk on his lips. "I missed you baby," I felt him press against me and felt my already diminished libido fall further. I pushed him away with a soft smile. He pressed his lips to mine and I felt shivers run through me; it was like kissing my brother and I got out of it as quick as social protocol dictated normal kissing time was with your husband to be.

When his face fell, I explained quickly. "I've got to get ready for my art show," I went and sat at the designated dining space turned into a studio, "are you gonna be there tomorrow?" I wondered, quirking an eyebrow at him.

He shook his head, "Shit, I forgot, babe. Emmett wants to watch the game and I've already said yes." He sighed, running his hands through his hair.

I nodded, expecting that one like a fucking curve ball. "Alright, well shut up and watch TV or leave," I joked, "I need some quiet to make the art magic come out." He pushed my shoulder gently, and sat down to watch. A long time ago, when things were much less complicated, Edward used to love watching me paint. He'd play his grand piano in the living room and I'd lay on my stomach drawing away. We used to enjoy each other, and now I can't remember the last time I told him I loved him first. Things were much simpler in Forks and a part of me missed them.

But, the new part of me that was finishing off the nude portrait of Alice, didn't. This part of me wanted Alice's arms around my waist, inspiring my artwork with her beautiful body and soft laugh that was like music. Granted, we didn't do much talking when she was around, but I planned to fix that. I wanted to know her with more than just my tongue and fingers. If we were going to be friends who had sex with each other, I might as well know her favorite things, right? I didn't even know where we stood in our...relationship together. I hoped it was just simple, easy sex and never morphed into anything deeper than that because I couldn't do anything deeper than that.

"Bells," Edward asked after a few moments. I set down my brush and turned to face him, for the tone of his voice told me this was something serious.

"Yes?"

He seemed to be hesitating, something weird for Edward. "Why don't we move in together? I mean, we've been together for nine years now, we're getting married soon," he came closer and kissed my collarbone again, "why do you want to live in this pit of an apartment, when we could be together all the time?" I gulped at that thought; living with Edward...all the time...already. Just as I found my muse and peace, he wanted to take it all away.

"We've talked about that," I stood and went to empty my jar of black water, "I need my own place so I can paint. We're gonna live together soon, don't worry about it." I shrugged it off, but he wasn't having it. Not one bit.

"No Bella," he grabbed my wrist and turned me around to face him; the jar broke in the sink as we stared at each other, "tell me the real reason because I know it's not the fucking art. Are you unhappy with me?" He asked, already going to the defensive jealous man I remembered. His grasp was starting to hurt me and when I tried to pull away, he only gripped tighter and looked at me more menacingly.

"Of course not, Edward that hurts," I whispered and he let me go angrily, "I just like living here, I'm close to everything I need right now. And if you've forgotten I have a lease-"

He threw his hand up in the air dramatically and looked at me like I was stupid; "I have hundred of thousands of dollars in my fucking bank account. Bella, I can pay a three hundred dollar lease."

So there was no way out of this fucking conversation again. I didn't want to live with him; I still had ten months of Bella time and now Edward wanted me to stay with him twenty-four seven. When would I see Alice? When I stayed quiet, he chuckled humorously and shook his head. "Forget it. I've got to go, I'll see you tomorrow." He didn't even kiss me goodbye, just slammed the door on his way out. I gathered the glass shards in my hands and threw them away, grabbing another before I went back to my painting. Edward and his stupid mood swings were old news to me; he'd been like this since we first moved here. He wanted me to move in then, but I declined because I wanted to do things on my own and not rely on anyone but myself for my next meal. In the middle of my grumbling and turning up the stereo, my phone buzzed in my pocket.

"Bella Swan, if you're calling about past due bills, PISS OFF," I growled when I saw an unidentified number on the screen.

Then her delighted laughter rang through, and I relaxed. "Bella, it's me," Rose chuckled, "so I was wondering what time your show is?" She sounded bored.

"Never if I don't get some peace and quiet. Mr. High and Fucking Mighty just left after asking me to move in again," I grumbled, lighting a cigarette and opened a window. It was chilly today, colder than usual in September, and I desperately wished I had my NYU sweatshirt, but I couldn't seem to find it anywhere. It was always so warm and cozy on these cold days.

"Okay well I'll leave you be and I'll be there around seven, alright?" I nodded, hanging up without another word. I missed Alice; I missed the way she smiled, even though I knew nothing more of her than how fucking amazing she looked naked. It always made my heart sputter when she smiled at me. I was a sap for romance and candlelit dinners on the beach, but what we had was so much more intense than that. It was primal, erotic, deliciously sensual, and all I could think of now. It had only been hours and I already wanted to be around her, feel the spark that lit on my fingers when I'd touch her silky smooth skin.

"Oh Toby," I pet the fat cat that jumped up on the windowsill, "I am truly hopeless aren't I?" At the sound of his meowing agreement, I went back to my stool to finish the rest of the work for tomorrow. It was my third exhibit in the building, and I always ended up selling nearly everything during the party because rich people had too much money and liked simple art. I drew people, landscapes, a single color in a face of gray. Simple things that took my interest, and this time, I had my first nude already cleared with the owner of the place. He said it was about damn time and welcomed it.

I went to bed early after finally finishing the huge masterpiece, and lied in my bed alone. My front door opened, and I knew it was Edward before he even slid into bed beside me. I was in his arms and I could smell liquor on his breath already, but if that wasn't enough, he was rock hard and pushing into my backside as he kissed my neck. He was back because he knew I couldn't say no for any good reason, but also to give my mind some momentary comfort.

He kissed me all over, his tequila scented breath filling my nose. "Fine, don't move in with me," he sighed drunkenly, "I like your bed better anyway."

I didn't even complain as he rolled me over and slid my underwear down off my legs. If this was what I had to do to keep my home, keep my affair a secret, I would do it a thousand times over. I shut my eyes, letting out a single tear when his thick cock filled me and he groaned out loud. I let it happen, but with every thrust, with every lick of his tongue to my neck, I felt remorse. His thrusts became rushed, as they always were when he was drunk, and he slid out of me just as he came into his fist. When he fell beside me, pulled me into his arms, and said he loved me, I knew it was a lie. Edward might have loved me once, but now we tolerated each other so well that people believed we were the perfect couple. People were blind. It hurt to think about falling out of love with the sweet man I'd swooned over so many years ago, so I let my eyes shut tight, turned my mind off, and I dreamed about Alice.

**A/N: **

**Aw. Poor Bella. **

**Review it :D **


	7. Just For Tonight, Darling

**Chapter Seven**

**Just For Tonight, Darling**

**(Apov) **

I lied restlessly in bed beside the wholesome Texan after a quick round of anticlimactic sex, staring at the pale moon through the trees. I sighed deeply, knowing exactly what was wrong - I missed Bella. I missed her steady breathing next to me as she held me in her warm warms, but most of all I missed the satisfaction being with her gave me. She gave me the most intense orgasms of my life; using that sexy tongue in the most perfect way, sliding her fingers past my panties to massage my dripping wet clit. Just thinking about it made me horny, so I slipped off the bed, went to the bathroom and locked the door.

After starting the shower, I went into the warm water, slid my fingers down my body until they met my already wet core eagerly. I gasped as I ran my fingers quickly over the aching bud and found my back pressed up against the cold wall. The friction sent my mind reeling, and I felt release so close. I thought of Bella's fingers inside of me, her tongue flicking across my hard nipples, her moaning as she tasted me on her tongue, and came undone. I mewed her name quietly and felt my toes curl as the liquid heat ran up my body and warmed every inch of me.

I was panting as I leaned against the wall and opened my eyes to see I was completely alone in the overly-expensive bathroom. As much as I wanted it, Bella wasn't here pleasing me in every way I could imagine and I wasn't doing the same for her. I wondered where she was, if she was happy wherever that was. Bella was always smiling and hiding how she really felt, but I could see right through it and knew she was miserable with Edward. She needed someone who could make her happy, forever. Someone like...

Shaking my head, I stopped those thoughts before they could even complete themselves. The probability of that ever happening was so slim it wasn't worth thinking of. For now, she was my affair, my sweetest fantasies turned into sexy daydreams, and I wanted to keep her that way. It worked, for the time being, and if anything came up later, we'd address it then. I washed my hair, ran my hands over my body with soap, and wrapped myself up in a towel. I didn't even bother going back to bed. Instead, I headed downstairs in Bella's NYU sweatshirt and some underwear for a glass of wine and maybe a good romance novel.

The money was my favorite thing about being with Jasper: I asked for it, and he immediately delivered. This white wine was imported from somewhere in Germany and aged to perfection, absolute perfection. I grabbed a blanket, left the kitchen light on, slid onto my favorite bay windowsill on the second floor, and pulled out a V.C. Andrews novel that took my interest this week. The words on the page flew by me, for my mind was with Bella. I couldn't help but think she was in the same position I was in a few moments ago: mounted and screwed as she held in tears and missed whatever it was we had. I knew I missed whatever it was, and definitely wanted some more of it – soon. Maybe I could escape from Mr. Jail long enough to get down to her art show and make her smile with my arrival.

I set the book down and wrapped my arms around my legs, leaving the empty wine glass beside me as I looked up at the moon and felt myself start to drift into slumber. I smirked because I knew she would be with me in my dreams, and if that was all I was gonna get, I'd knock myself over the head with the expensive wine bottle.

"Alice, wake up." Jasper's voice replaced Bella's in my dream and suddenly her head between my legs was his, and I shouted, but it only translated into jolting awake, not realizing where I was. He was shaking my arm violently, and I don't know how I ended up on the couch, but he was looking down at me angrily.

I nodded and sat up, rubbing my eyes when I felt his stare on me. "Yes? Do you need something?" I didn't mean to sound condescending, but it was eleven and I went to sleep at three. He glared down at me and took my hand, roughly yanking me to my feet.

"You didn't set out my suit this morning and now I'm gonna be late," he growled, shoving me toward the kitchen, "at least make yourself useful and start a pot of coffee." He smacked my ass hard when I stretched first, and I yelped in pain.

"Jasper! That hurt!" I complained, rubbing the obvious red mark across my upper thigh. He grabbed my neck then, shoved me down on the dining room table and snarled in my ear. I'd never seen him this angry over nothing, and the pain from his slap seemed very insignificant when I felt the rock hard erection pressing into my ass.

He slammed my face into the dining room table, making my ears ring with the force he put in it. "Shut up. You won't like this, and it will teach you not to fall behind on your duties as my _wife_."

Suddenly, my underwear was pooled around my ankles and his hard dick was shoved painfully into me. I screamed in pain, feeling like someone was tearing me open from the inside out as he thrust in deeper and harder each time.

"Stop, please!" I begged. I didn't understand what I had done wrong, what I had done to make him hurt me so bad. I gripped the table as tears started pouring from my eyes and he grunted a few more times before siding his hand over my mouth to cover the terrified whimpering coming past my lips, pulling me up rigidly, and came deep inside of me. I let my mind wander to Bella's soft smile and tried to ignore the way he shoved in me a few more times, but it didn't work. I couldn't get the agony out of my mind. I was choking on sobs when he threw me to the ground and zipped up his trousers with a look of elation in his face. He gripped my hair, bent down to my level, and I let out a frightened squeak before he grinned at me.

He kissed my lips, shoving his tongue past my mouth. "Finally, I've found some use for you, Miss Brandon. Forget the coffee, I'm leaving." He let me go roughly and I stumbled backwards, falling on my back this time. I heard him slam the front door and that was when I let out all off the hatred, fear, and pure fury I had for him out. I kicked away a chair close to me and let out one last sob before wiping away the tears. I'd never felt so violated in my entire life and I was freaking out. How did I let this happen? What did I do?

I sniffled and knew my hands were too shaky to even pour a glass of wine, so I wrapped them around myself. I shut the phone quickly and turned it off, not even bothering telling anyone what had happened. They wouldn't believe me anyway, and what good would it do to upset a bride on her wedding week? Or a girl that I barely knew beyond the bedroom? Rose and Bella had more important things to worry about than Jasper being too rough with me. I ran upstairs, feeling nausea turn in my stomach, and spilled my liquid dinner out into the toilet. I was shaking when my stomach heaved and nothing came out, so I curled up in a small ball on the shower floor.

There was an art show at five, Bella's art show, and I wanted to go to it. I realized I'd been zoning out in the shower for a few hours now, and the water was starting to run cold across my rigid body. I stood up, washed the blood off of my thighs, and wrapped a towel around myself. There was no use wallowing in self-pity because my fiancé got too rough with me, no one would believe it was anything more than that, and if Jasper knew I'd told someone, it would only be worse. I pulled on some loose fitting skinny jeans, a low cut shirt, and some boots before I sat on the couch in the living room. I had packed a duffel bag of clothes even though I didn't really know what I was going to do with it or where I was going to go, but after sliding my wedding band off my finger, I slammed the front door and slung it over my shoulder. I left a note, saying I would be gone for a couple of days until he cooled off, but I really didn't have a place to go. I'd end up back here tonight, saying the spa I went to was full or something. Truth was, I had extra cash and a credit card to get a room somewhere, but he'd just track me down with it.

I caught a cab, said goodbye to all of the stupid rich people around me, and found myself only a few blocks from Bella's apartment. She would be at the venue already though, so I didn't try her doorbell. What was I thinking anyway? Going to Bella...she had more important things to worry about than me being too afraid to go home. It was stupid to even think she'd let me stay – she had Edward and even though he didn't make her happy, I couldn't interfere more than I already was. I looked down at my phone when I was out of the building. It was getting closer to five now, and I wanted to be there for her because Edward certainly wouldn't be. The gallery only a few blocks down the road was full of people waiting to get in – more rich people who talked about buying the artwork on display instead of just looking at it. Maybe if the auction prices weren't too steep I'd get one for myself.

"I hear she's young, and very talented," a man in front of me chuckled as the line started moving. I smirked at his words; if only they knew just how talented and I wasn't referring to her brush strokes. Thinking about Bella and her magical fingers and tongue almost made me shiver with desire, but I calmed my uneven heart beats. I paid the fee and was soon thrust into a world that was so much different from the one outside.

Bella was talented; she made paintings look real. The only way I could tell it was a portrait was from the signature on the bottom with a date. My favorite by far was the one of a beautiful woman sitting on a windowsill, running her hands through her hair as she looked at the sun. She was completely nude, and looked a lot like me, but without being able to see her face properly I couldn't tell. I felt an unfamiliar blush heat my cheeks at the thought of Bella's mind being overcome by me looking so beautiful. It wasn't until a soft voice came from behind me that my suspicions were confirmed.

"You inspired this one," she whispered, taking my arm in hers as she stood beside me. She looked delicious in a tight black dress with short heels, with her normally messy brown hair in a loose bun behind her head. Her face was pale in the lighting, her lips stained a beautiful red color. I looked back at the picture when she caught me staring and couldn't believe I'd been such a muse to her.

"It's beautiful. I'm honored," I chuckled when she rested her head on my shoulder quickly, smiling even as she pulled away.

She took me in her arms, and I loved the warmth from her embrace. "Thank you for being here, Ally. I really needed to see you were alright." I didn't understand the sadness in her voice, or the way she held me for just a little longer and tighter than usual. We parted when Edward coughed behind us and Bella smiled apologetically at me.

"Nice to see you again, Alice," he shook my hand, "I think I may just have to buy this one. It's your best yet, love." he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her cheek sweetly. I felt jealousy rage inside of me, and I knew I needed to cool it or he'd suspect something, but I couldn't help the way my fists balled up when I crossed my arms. I already disliked the man, now he was holding her like that and it made me crazy.

"Edward," Bella tactfully moved out of his arms, "could you get me a drink? I'm feeling a bit nervous," she admitted and when he nodded, they shared a soft peck on the lips. I grumbled to myself until she pulled my arm away from the crowds and into a darker unlit side of the gallery. It was the part that wasn't being used, and it was still home to the universe exhibit from last week.

I avoided her knowing eyes, and she finally spoke. "Alice, are you jealous?" She seemed to giggle at the thought of it, and I grinned a little at how stupid it was, however much it was true.

"Insanely."

She pushed me up against the cool concrete wall, her eyes black. "Why," She was kissing down my neck, licking the hot skin there, and it made me moan in desire, "why are you jealous if you're all that I want?" I blushed at those words, and when she stopped kissing me our eyes met.

I looked down and her hand brought my chin up so I couldn't do it again very comfortably. "I'm all you want?" I whispered and when she smiled so large, I knew she couldn't possibly be lying to me.

"Absolutely, Alice," she chuckled, "you're all I think about. Last night when Edward came to my house drunk and fucked me-" I saw anger in her eyes - "all I thought about was your lips on mine, your sweet smile as I caressed your soft skin. And I was alright." she ran a hand down my arm and hugged me tight. She was so warm and her words made my heart soar because it was exactly the same thing I felt.

"You're all I think about anymore, too and we need to hang out more. I'm going insane," I assured her and our lips met sweetly, with no rush of lust involved, "but come on. You've got an auction starting." I could hear over the microphone that they would now start auctioning the art, and everyone that couldn't see us in the shadows passed quickly. I grabbed my bag and it was the first time she noticed it, but Edward saw us and pulled her toward a seat with him while I took one beside Rose. She grinned at me.

"Surprised? I was, I mean did you see the nude? I've never seen her paint with such passion before." She sighed, looking at it as it came to the stage, and my heart jolted forward. How much money did I have in my bank account? I clicked away on my phone as people started bidding upwards of five hundred, and when it passed a thousand, Bella came to stand beside me. She saw the worry on my face.

She bent down and whispered in my ear; "Alice, don't buy it. I can make another – one much better, and just for you." She smiled when my eyes lit up, and I slid my phone back into my purse. She squeezed my shoulder before she walked over to shake hands with the tall lanky woman that spent two thousand dollars on the painting. Now, I was glad I didn't splurge and spend an unnecessary amount of money on a painting of myself. I would definitely hold her to her word on the other painting though – most definitely. The auction went by in a blur because our eyes were always undressing each other from across the room, even when Edward was talking to her. She'd ignore him and smile at me, filling my heart with a foreign sense of affection. It was weird to think about it, but I already cared about her more than I should have. This was just sex, not any romantic shit that we both had already had enough of...right?

After selling almost all of them, and everyone had left, we all stood outside, congratulating her on her accomplishment. She made ten thousand in one night only by parting with her creations. Edward and Rose were off, headed to the club for a drink, but Emmett and Bella stayed behind with me while I waited for a taxi to take me off somewhere. "So where are you headed Alice?" Emmett wondered, eying the bag.

I shrugged, "no idea. Gotta get away from Jasper for a few days – he's been an asshole." Emmett smirked at that but Bella's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

She pulled me to the side, "Alice I saw him grabbing you yesterday, does he hurt you?" she asked seriously, cornering me into the building. A tear escaped me eye; I had never intended for her to see that, and never wanted to make this so much more complicated than it had to be.

I was saved by the noise of screeching tires, and pushed past her when she got distracted, only to see a very familiar black Mercedes parked by the sidewalk. The color drained from my face when Jasper came out, not seeing anyone but me, and grabbed my arm roughly. "Didn't I tell you that you weren't allowed to go to this fucking place?" he snarled, gripping me past the point of discomfort.

"That hurts Jasper, and I am not your property, I can do whatever I like-" his hand raised and he struck me across the face, leaving a stinging red print across my cheek. I gasped at the cool fire running through me, cringed away from the next one that I knew I was coming, but when it didn't I opened my eyes in confusion. That was when things started to get worse than they should have been. It was just a smack, something he'd done many times, but my friends, and my lover, had never seen anything like that from the looks on their faces. Emmett was still too shocked to move, but Bella's face was full of raw fury and I knew she was ready to pounce. All one hundred and ten pounds of her.

She screamed in anger and launched for him, slamming her fist against his nose and across his jaw before Emmett broke out of his shell shocked state and grabbed her small waist. "Bells, Bells chill! Calm down!" He commanded in his booming voice and Jasper grimaced at her from his position leaned up against his car. He wasn't bleeding, but he was furious that a woman had struck him back and would have continued to kick his ass if Emmett hadn't intervened.

"Touch her again and I'll kill you!" Bella shouted, but it was the calm certainty in her eyes that scared both me and Jasper. She was kicking and shoving to get away from Emmett's iron grasp as I wiped the blood off the underside of my nose, and I stood beside her to try and calm her down. It didn't work much until I touched her face with my hand and she nodded, promising me silently that she was done.

She was let free of Emmett's grasp and she immediately came over and looked at my nose with concern in her eyes. "Ally are you okay?" she asked, dabbing away at the nosebleed uselessly. I saw such worry in her eyes, and a part of me loved seeing it there, but this wasn't her mess to clean up. It was my fucked up life and I didn't want her feeling responsible for anything that happened to me, but she already did.

I nodded, and Jasper chuckled and stood up, glaring at me. "When you learn your fucking place you can come back to the house. Or maybe I have to teach you it again?" When I cringed away from his wicked smirk, Bella took me in her arms and pushed me behind her gently. Emmett stood between Bella and Jasper, ever the peace maker, but I knew that wouldn't stop either of them from flipping out and fighting if they really wanted to.

That was when Bella got in his face, but she didn't swing at him, and she didn't spit words of hatred. Instead, she said something I never thought I'd hear from her lips, so calmly and surely that no one would doubt her sincerity. "That won't be necessary, Jasper," she took my hand in hers and grabbed my bag off the ground, "she's coming to stay with me."

**A/N:**

**So there! Another chapter edited by Shabbacabba. He's epic, I'm telling you. The only other person I know whose daydreams talk back, too. **

**Review it :D**

**-Dee**


	8. Magic French Toast

**Chapter Eight **

**Magic French Toast **

**(Bpov) **

I couldn't believe that stupid fuck had the audacity to hit MY Alice! Well, she was his Alice, but that wasn't the point! She seemed scared as I towed her away to my apartment, always looking behind Emmett's shoulder to see if Jasper was following. If he knew what was good for him he wouldn't. It was only a few blocks to my apartment from here, so Emmett scooped up the two paintings I kept for myself, and we were around the corner of the block before Jasper could even process what was happening. He'd never find her, unless she wanted to go back to him, which I doubted. I wrapped my arm through hers and pulled her closer as she let a few tears fall from her eyes. She was practically shivering when Emmett and I got her into my apartment.

"Ally, sit down. I'll make you some tea, okay?" she nodded and wrapped her arms around her legs. I covered her with a blanket and when Emmett turned to put my paintings in the dining room, I kissed the top of her head. She smiled up at me when I started walking away.

Emmett followed me to the door, still looking a bit shocked that all of that had just happened. He was surprised, I was livid. I wanted to go back to that street corner and beat him down with one of my paintings, but Alice needed me now. Emmett opened the door, letting the cold in, and ran his hands through his thick hair. "Shit Bells, she's all messed up. I swear, that's never happened before, I've known Jasper for years and I never pegged him as someone who hits his girl!" he defended the stupid southerner and blamed Alice for this? How in the hell was this her fault?

I glared and let out a frustrated sigh, "Em, just go tell Edward and Rose where we are." I rubbed my hands across my face and sighed deeply again.

He put his hands on my shoulders and looked at me seriously, "I'm not saying it wasn't wrong what he did, but I've never seen him do it. If I see it happen again, I'll help you in dismembering him, alright?" I touched foreheads with him in comradery and he was out my door a few seconds later, on his cell phone as he descended the stairs.

After locking the door, I found myself walking up to the tile counters of my kitchen and taking out the Chai mixture of herbs for tea. If I could do anything, I'd help to calm her nerves. When the water came to a boil, Alice was beside me, because there really was no separation between my living room and the kitchen, and somehow she maneuvered her little body in front of me. I loved the smell of her perfume, the softness of her skin against mine as she wrapped her arms around my waist. "Bella, I am so sorry for causing you all this trouble-"

"It's no trouble, Alice," I interrupted as I brought her closer; I ran my hand through her hair and let her cling to me, "I'd rather have you here and safe then away from me with a man that hits you. You're welcome here for as long as you want."

She nodded and kissed my collarbone gently, "I just have to ask," I lowered my voice to keep the anger inside of me, "does this happen..._often_?"

She took her time answering. She looked at my eyes, down to the floor, and then finally slid away from me with her arms around her waist. She propped herself up on the wall by the fridge. "Sometimes. Today was the worst it's been in a long time. He...he got on top of me this morning because I didn't do something he asked me to do last night. It was so horrible, but I figured if I went away for a couple days, he'd get over it. I guess I was wrong," she laughed as she wiped a few tears away from her eyes.

That son of a bitch..._raped_ her? And she thought that it was okay? "Ally, that's fucked up. He shouldn't be touching you if you don't want him to!" I reasoned with her, taking her hands in mine when I walked to where she stood.

"What am I supposed to do, Bella? No one would believe me – he only hits me in places where people can't see and I've never called the police before. I can't do anything about it because he's a respected business man and I'm just a wedding columnist for the Post."

I snorted at that, never being able to see her as a person who would write boring things in a paper, and made sense of her always being around weddings and fashion. But I continued, "That doesn't matter. Alice," I took her face in my hands, "baby, it doesn't matter what you do, what you say, and it wouldn't even matter if he was the god damn president. He has no right to hit you because it makes him feel like more of a man. You're safe here, and I'm not letting you go back to him unless you feel comfortable doing it." Her eyes widened in fear and she pressed her head to my chest, obviously showing me that she didn't plan on going anywhere any time soon.

I ran my hands up and down her back comfortingly. "Come on, let's get some tea and I'll make you my famous French toast," I grinned in hopes of trying to get our minds off the blackness Jasper created. That, and I wanted to get this mysterious girl more than just looking up at her when my head was between her legs.

She followed, but looked at me skeptically when I pulled out a pan and handed her a cup of tea. "Bella, it's like eight o'clock," she laughed, sipping the warm drink appreciatively. I grabbed a glass of it for myself and started up the burners.

I shrugged, smiling over at her, "so? There's never a wrong time for French toast."

We sat on my couch after I flipped the toast onto a plate, covered it in some powdered sugar, and handed it to her. She dug in, smirking up at me when I took some for myself off the plate. "It's damn good. I don't think I've had something this tasty since I left home," she laughed as she scooted closer to me. Our arms were touching, and when we looked away from each other, I realized I didn't know anything about her. It struck me as odd, because I felt like I'd known her my entire life, but still I couldn't say what her favorite color was.

"Alice, what's your favorite movie?" I wondered nonchalantly, flicking off the TV so I could turn and pay attention to her answer. Her brow creased, and she brought the cup to her lips again.

She seemed to mull it over. "It's gotta be a tie between Interview With The Vampire and The Devil Wears Prada. I'm crazy for vampires and fashion." She rolled her eyes, but my mouth twitched into a smile. Could she be more perfect? Could this be more fucked up?

I wrapped my arm around her middle and brought her closer to me. She giggled when I placed a kiss just below her ear. "I assume that's why you write weddings in the paper?" She nodded, resting her head on my shoulder after she put her plate down on the coffee table.

"Yeah, I guess after I saw my big sister get married when I was younger, they've captured my interest. So, naturally, when I grew up I went off to major in journalism and English literature, and came to the city to see the best weddings and document them with my camera and my words." She curled further into my embrace and wrapped a blanket around us.

"Why didn't you open your own wedding business or something?" I asked, thinking that was the most logical step in a woman's love of all things wedding related, or at least working in a place that does weddings.

She sighed, "My father. He wanted me to write in the paper, so I do, but not as a major thing. Just a few pages in Commitments. If it were up to me, I'd have my own wedding business somewhere in downtown Manhattan," she sighed dreamily. I felt bad that her family threw her around like she meant nothing and didn't let her live out those dreams in her mind. Why was the world out to get this sweet girl?

I kissed her head and let my cheek rest on it. "Someday Alice you'll open that business and you will be the best in Manhattan," I promised because somehow I knew it was true. I hoped it would be true.

She looked up at me, smirking and giving me a snort of derision, "what about you? Why did you become an artist, besides being very fucking talented at it?"

I rolled my eyes at the flattering comment: my work was alright, not super fantastic like some of the other the people's I'd seen. It was a question I got a lot, but even I still didn't understand why. "I just loved it, and since I had nothing else going for me, I decided to go to NYU and get my master of art degree," I explained and she nodded her head in understanding.

She stood then, blushing a bit as she went over to her bag that was sitting by my bed. "Speaking of college," she pulled out my lost sweatshirt and held it up to my amused eyes, "I stole this after the first time we were together and I'd really like for you to wear it again, so I can steal it back in a few weeks when it smells like you." She threw it at my head while she went through explaining why she took it, and I nodded as I set it on the couch again. It did smell like Alice, and that would drive me insane until it went back to my strawberry smell.

"No problem," I sighed and started taking off my constricting dress, "I'm gonna change. Did you bring any pajamas?" I looked over at her and saw a dark look in her eyes when she saw the straps lowered to my hips, exposing my back to her. I forgot that this woman did find me insanely attractive, unlike Edward, and whenever I showed a bit of skin it made her insane.

Her hands went to the sipper at my waist and brought it down the small four inches that it did come down, but her hands ran across my cool skin, dipping past the fabric to feel around my flat stomach and chest. My eyes rolled back a little when her cool lips met my neck, her hands ran across my hardening nipples, and the dress pooled at my feet. I turned around and went to kiss her, but a knock at the door stopped both of us. She acted quicker than me, taking the dress and putting it in the laundry basket, then threw me a pair of cotton shorts and a tank top. When I looked from them and back to her she rolled her eyes.

"Get dressed," she hissed when I blinked a few times at her. Right! I slid the shorts on and pulled the tank top over my head on the way to the door.

"Who is it?" I asked, situating my hair as I waited for an answer. It was New York after all, and I didn't exactly live in paradise. I pulled up some boots to keep my toes warm before he spoke.

He seemed exasperated as he answered, "It's Edward, now please open the door." I didn't like how angry he sounded, but against my better judgment, I unlocked the door and stepped out into the hall with him.

He looked me up and down and I saw the fire in his eyes. "Bella, do you not understand how much I care about you?"

What? I frowned, not understanding where he was going with this, but when he saw me shiver he put his coat around my shoulders. "Yes, I understand you care about me. What does that have to do with anything? What did Emmett tell you?" I wrapped the warm jacket around myself and we both backed against the wall when another couple passed us.

"It has everything to do with anything! He told me you're letting that girl live with you! Do you see the inequality, because I certainly do. Why won't you live with me? Bella do you know how much it hurts me to not be beside you when I sleep at night, to come home and not be able to hold you and give you all the affection you deserve?" I blushed at his intense stare and gulped at all of the things my old Edward would have said to me.

I handed him his coat back though, because Alice needed a place to stay and I wasn't going to let her go back to that dick for some two-timing asshole that just wanted to dazzle me with his words. Edward didn't mean one word of what he said, and I knew that. The Edward I loved died the moment we left Forks. "Edward, Alice is staying with me. No fucking questions about it, and if you don't like it don't fucking be with me. She's my friend and I won't turn my back on her. Ever." I blushed at those words, because I knew them to be true. I was in too deep to let anything happen to her now.

He scowled angrily. More people passed, halting his spew of angry words at me. "Whatever. We'll talk about this tomorrow," he pulled out a cigarette from his jacket as he put it back on, "bye." I grabbed his hand before he could go and hugged him, not really understanding the need to be close to him for a moment. Maybe it was the ancient look in his eyes that I missed so very much, but whatever it was, it didn't last long. His arms were around me, but I could feel his ire through the gentle friendly gesture. His arms were strangers to me now, totally wrong and definitely not the place I wanted to be. I pushed him away slowly and turned to my side away from his confused green orbs.

"Bye, Edward." I sighed when, without another word, he stormed off down the steps. I slammed my door and by the look on Alice's face, she'd heard the entire argument. She had changed out of her jeans and into shorts and my sweatshirt, but she looked incredibly awkward standing beside my bed with her arms wrapped around her small waist self-consciously.

I ran my hands through my hair and looked up at her watery eyes. "Alice-"

"Bella, I won't come between you and Edward. He just poured his heart out for you and I don't even know why you defended-"

My laughter interrupted her misinterpretation of Edward's affection, "Alice, he was only saying those things because he knows when he used to talk like that to me – back when he wasn't a douche bag – I fell in love with him all over again. He's not that man," I let my hands fall to her hips, "because the Edward I loved died a long time ago." Her eyes had calmed by now and she had a small smile on her full lips. I was glad she understood the confusion that was my relationship with Edward.

"Then that means you meant everything you said to him about me, huh? You'll never turn your back on me?" Her voice had become soft, her hands touched at my waist and wrapped around me in a secure hug. It shocked me that I'd just hugged Edward and didn't feel any of the affection pouring off her. These arms were no strangers, and they were absolutely where I wanted to be.

I smiled, kissed the top of her head, and pulled her even closer to my chest. After a few moments, she looked up at me and I allowed myself to put my hands on either side of her face. "I meant every word of it, and I promise that I'll always be here for you. You are quickly becoming my very best friend in the whole world," I chuckled down at her and when she smiled I knew she was alright with staying here. Her lips met mine slowly, in a way that we'd never had before, because it wasn't rushed or chaotic, and it showed me the sweet side of Alice I was starting to like a hell of a lot more than I should have. We parted shortly after, smiling at each other.

She kissed my cheek again, "good because you have my favorite vampire movie of all time," she pulled a DVD out of the sweatshirt pocket and flashed it at me, "wanna watch it?" Fuck. I think I could have cried at how perfect she was for me.

I'd thought it many times before now, and certainly never spoke the words, but when I picked her tiny body up in my arms and she giggled, I let all the things I wanted to say out. "Alice, where do they make you, and where can I buy ten more to put around my house?"

**A/N: **

**Aw :)**

**So I think I wanna dedicate this chapter to my friend that inspired this story. Don't worry girl, I'll always be here with my magic french toast and my arms wide open when things go to shit. I love you. **

**And thanks Shabbacabba, for editing this. :) **

**Review it. **

**-Dee**


	9. We Just Peoples

**A/N: AS always, M for LEMONS at the beginning, and a bit of language. We're seeing a whole new side of Alice: the free bitch that she really is. Enjoy it. **

**And thank my beta Shabba. He's epic, and quickly becoming a very good zombie-loving friend. :D**

**Chapter Nine **

**We Just Peoples**

**(Apov)**

"_Fuck_ Bella," I gasped as her little fingers brought me past the point of no return and her tongue continued to lap up the moisture pooling across my wet folds. For me being her first, this woman seriously knew what she was doing with those sexy little fingers. She grinned up at me and brought on an entire new round of arousal when she licked her lips and placed a kiss just below my belly button. We'd been touching, love making, and letting out breathy moans of each others names for nearly two hours now; I couldn't have been happier about it.

I brought her lips to mine, rolling my eyes a little when I could feel her hot sex pressed right up against mine. We'd been like this all week. In fact, I don't think we left the apartment once since I got here. Take-out, then a movie, then sex halfway through said movie, and finally sleep came to us after many orgasms and lots of changed sheets. I couldn't believe how amazing it was to be free of Jasper's steely hold and in the arms of a beautiful girl who was cool with just being my friend _and_ having sex with me.

It was the perfect combination, but when that son of a bitch Edward came over I just about bit my tongue off to keep the protests from spewing all over him. I really disliked him, and he disliked me because he was jealous that I stayed here on "the couch" and Bella didn't even want him to spend the night anymore. Where would I go if he did? Just thinking that made me smirk whenever he'd come see her.

Jasper hadn't even called me, which only made me hope that he'd forgotten I even existed. I went by the house with Bella the other day, to get my things while he was at work, and all of my stuff was in boxes – bound for the dump. That only made me think that we were really leaving each other, and I clapped my hands and did a little happy dance because I was free at last. No one could bring me down, not even brooding Edward and his suspicious glares. Alice Brandon would remain just that: Brandon, not Whitlock.

"Alice, you are amazing," Bella whispered as we lied beside each other and looked up at the ceiling, our arms and our legs connected between us.

I smiled over at her and looked into those breathtaking eyes, "I know." She rolled her eyes and playfully smacked the side of my head as she rolled onto her stomach. She hummed in appreciation when my leg wrapped around her waist, and she looked up into my eyes.

"What do you want for dinner? We haven't tried that burger place down the road yet-"

Loud banging on the door could only mean one thing: our time in our own world was up, and someone was here demanding our attention. As in many emergencies we'd discovered we had this week, we dressed quickly in tank tops and shorts and Bella went to answer it while I slumped across the couch – which I noticed on the third day I was here that it was a pair of lips and when I asked Bella told me I really didn't want to know. I turned on the TV and waited to see who would come walking through the door into our little slice of heaven on Earth.

Of course, it was Edward. "Hey baby," he sighed happily as they embraced and I rolled my eyes to avoid gagging at his false pleasure. Did he not see how she flinched when he touched her? How she only hugged until it was polite to let go?

"Hey Edward," I waved from the couch and when he didn't even glorify me with a response, I whispered much more quietly, "you fucking prick." He smiled down at me and I went back to watching TV when he pulled her into the bathroom, like that would make it harder for me to hear. I could hear the Mexican people speaking about how fucked up we were from upstairs while they watched their stupid soap opera's in Spanish. I only hoped they didn't tell Edward that they could hear Bella screaming my name as I teased her clit with my tongue and shoved my fingers inside of her.

"We're going Bella and that's all I'm going to say about this," was all I caught of the conversation because my mind had wandered into a land of imagining Bella naked beneath me. I shook off the arousal and looked up to see Edward sit beside me on the couch. He watched the TV stubbornly while Bella fumed away in the bathroom. I got up discreetly, handed him the remote, and pulled her aside.

"What's up, girl?" I rubbed my hands up and down her arms that had decided to wrap themselves around her little body. Edward saw the action and rolled his eyes at how friendly we'd become over the past three weeks we'd known about each other. This girl was my best friend, and I wasn't going to let some douche change that because he didn't like us being affectionate as friends. I scowled at him and he looked away quickly.

She huffed and glared at him before she whispered, "He wants me to go to some stupid fucking annual party with him in November. They do this every year at the Masen house and every year I end up being humiliated in some way. Whether it's fucking Tanya or one of his other ex-girlfriend's that show up, I end up looking like a fucking misfit with all these rich assholes." I mulled that over in my mind. Halloween was three weeks away, at least, so why did this even matter now?

"Edward," I called, looking at him seriously, "Bella will go to your party-"

"Alice!" She hissed, tugging on my hand; "whose side are you on?"

Edward stood up and walked over to where we stood in the kitchen, suspicion written all over his face as he smirked at me. "So, what are your 'buts', I can feel them coming," he laughed and for the first time I felt like he wasn't just being a dick.

"First, I am on _my _side," I stuck my tongue out playfully at the both of them, "and my only condition is that you let me go with her."

"Absolutely not! This is a Bella and Edward thing, not an Alice, Bella, and Edward thing." Edward started before I even have a chance to explain myself. Bella rolled her eyes and slapped his chest, raising her eyebrows when he complained.

"Let her talk," she explained her reason for swatting at him, and even though he did so dejectedly, he crossed his arms and looked at me expectantly.

I grabbed a soda from the fridge – which I demanded be stocked while I was around – and looked back at the "happy" couple. "Okay, well first, she is so against these because she doesn't have a wing-man, bro," when he frowned and Bella smiled deviously at me I continued, "okay, she needs a friend to have a formidable defense against all the ex-girlfriend's I hear so much about. You'll be busy talking to important hospital people and executives anyway, right? Please, Edward," I tried out my puppy dog eyes on him and after narrowing his green slits, he sighed deeply.

"_Fine_, but I am allowed to steal her away from you whenever I want her," he smiled as he stood behind her and took her in his arms; his lips met her hair. Her eyes apologized at me and I just shrugged, telling her silently that it was alright because I did understand that they were engaged and we were just good friends with some seriously epic benefits.

"Alright, well I'm gonna get a coffee and leave you two alone for a while," I sighed and grabbed a jacket off the back of the chair, "just right down to Starbucks. Want anything babe - uh bella?" I almost fucked up seriously bad, and Edward's eyes became slits again when I covered the blush on my cheeks with indifference.

"Did you just call her babe?" He laughed, seeing it as an awkward slip-up instead of an endearment.

I shoved his shoulder playfully, "shut up, Edward. It's a bad habit of living with Jasper." Even though I never called Jasper anything but his name, Edward seemed to believe it.

Bella reached for money and I turned away before she could shove it inside of the NYU sweatshirt I pulled over my body. "Nope! White Chocolate Mocha, right?" I called, even though I knew the answer after I shut the door on their happy looking reunion. Well, happy to Edward – not my Bella.

"Damn it, Alice stop that shit." I cursed my mind for even calling her that. I was doing it much more often now, and it was starting to irritate me because she was not mine. Not one damn bit. Even though a part of me wanted her to be. Whatever, I'd take friends with benefits over nothing any day of the week.

I couldn't help but feel that there was someone following me, but when I turned around I only saw one guy in a trench coat headed toward the same Starbucks that I was going to. He held the door open for me, smiling, and I thanked him as I went out of the cool weather and into the shop that smelled like a place the gods themselves got together at during the weekends to chat it up on their laptops. People seemed to notice I was wearing bright pink pajama shorts during October but when I raised my eyebrow at them they'd look away. Stupid stuck-up Village people that called themselves freaks, but didn't accept anyone who was a little different. Well, maybe it was the sexy pin-up girl tattoo on my inner thigh that caught their attention. I couldn't say.

I ordered a few drinks, noticing that the same man from before only ordered after I did, but I shrugged it off as him being some freaky pervert that wanted to see my ass in these shorts as I skipped to a table. What I didn't expect to see was a very excited looking Bella Swan right outside. She caught my gaze and waved as she opened the door.

"What happened to Edward? Did you finally decide he's no good and bite off his head and spit it out?" I joked as she came and cuddled up next to me. I could definitely get used to seeing her wear my worn out college sweatshirt with those sexy shorts, but I looked away before I jumped her right here in the middle of a coffee shop.

She swatted my leg playfully, but continued to hold me in her arms, "nope, his boss called him in early. Just as he was about to fuck me," she rolled her eyes and my stomach twisted in unjustified jealousy, "so I came here to see my favorite person in the world for a while." Aw, the things this girl said could always make me blush, and that didn't happen very often.

I smiled, but we both turned our heads when a lady scoffed at us and our emotional display of affection. I hadn't noticed she was glaring, but when Bella did, she spread my legs and stood between them, wrapping her arms around my middle. I let my lips graze hers, barely touching the sexy pink things before her tongue explored the shape of mine. She whispered my name tauntingly, and the next thing I knew I was being poked on the shoulder roughly.

"Ow, what?" I complained, looking at the red-haired woman pertinaciously. She was scowling in the most unattractive way, and I saw her teenage daughter looking at us longingly. She hadn't told her mother yet, and obviously this woman had a problem with lesbians.

"I would appreciate it if you didn't do that in public. It's wrong and nasty," she snapped, glaring at Bella the same way she did to me, but Bella being who she was, backed down immediately and she slid out from my legs. I took her hand and narrowed my eyes at the woman. Stupid lady was ruining my moment with Bella, but more disturbingly, the man sitting behind me had a huge smirk on his face as he recorded this. What was he, some freaky YouTube guy who posted videos of chicks beating the shit out of old women? Cause I certainly was about to.

"So you're gonna go say something to that couple as well?" I nodded toward the direction of a woman sitting on a man's lap precariously, kissing him passionately.

She huffed and crossed her arms, "There's nothing wrong with _them_ doing that. We don't like lesbians in this neighborhood." Homophobic bitch was about to get smacked, but Bella held me back.

That was when Bella spoke up, puffing her perfect chest out and raising her chin in indignation. "If you don't like lesbians I don't really think you should live in this part of New York, you bitchy old hag. Alice and I aren't lesbians, but we certainly ain't straight, right girl?" I nodded and knuckle bumped her as we giggled at the very obvious comment.

A few people had looked in, pointed, and gathered a crowd. "Come on," she laughed as the crowd started to look at us curiously, "we all just peoples up in here, right Ally?" I nodded happily and wrapped my arm around her shoulders when she put hers around my waist.

I stuck my tongue out at the lady as the waitress came over and gave us our coffee. The woman was red faced when Bella placed a soft kiss to my lips, but we couldn't bring ourselves to care. I laughed and kissed Bella's cheek, getting a few awes from the people around us; "that's right Bells. We just peoples."

**A/N:**

**Short chapter, but there were some key points that my friend Loner01 helped me think of. Like the dude following Alice...anyone think there is much more to that than just some creepy stalker? MUAHAH!**

**Review it!**

**-Dee**


	10. Paying Customer

**Chapter Ten **

**Paying Customer**

**(Bpov) **

"Yeah, Mr. Barry I understand-"

"Obviously you don't understand what I'm saying. I need a nude painting. I'm willing to pay you a lot of money, young lady. I was at your art show a few weeks ago and I was taken aback by the painting of the woman – the nude woman. I need you to paint another like it but a bit more risqué if you get what I mean," he laughed, making me flounder for words. Of course that painting was tasteful, only showing one nipple and a hint of her intimate parts, but I'd never done a nude that was actually all the way nude. With Alice though, I was sure it'd be easy.

I went on to explain the only problem with this situation. "Sir, I would love to paint you that picture, but I've promised the woman it was of that I would give her the next one I created-"

He interrupted me, "Then make two. Miss Swan, I will pay you five-thousand dollars for that painting, so make it happen. I will see you October tenth at your next art exposition." And he hung up abruptly, leaving me with no choice but to do what he asked. Of course I had another show coming up soon, it was how I made money, but I hadn't even started painting anything yet. I was one of those people that could stay up for an entire week to finish five or six high quality paintings, so I didn't really put much thought on it until a few weeks before the show.

But that fucking money did talk. It spoke volumes. I was right in the middle of a bath with my Alice when this prick called and she was still lying between my legs, absolutely clueless to what was said. This guy was from Chicago, an art dealer, but he needed a piece for his own personal collection, and he liked my painting of Alice that was sold a few weeks ago. So, naturally, he treated me like he would any other starving artist and demanded that I make him one instead of asking. Not that I was complaining much because most of my work was displayed in schools and fancy private hospitals, not world renowned art collection galleries. I kissed Alice's cheek and patted her shoulders gently, hoping to get her attention away from running her hands up and down my thighs.

She hummed, showing me she was paying attention, so I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her even closer. "Ally, will you get naked and let me paint you?"

She laughed lightly, filling the echoing space with her bell-like voice. "First, I am already naked. Second, why do you want to paint me after getting off the phone with some angry guy from Chicago?"

I sighed and let her turn toward me, which meant her legs wrapped around my waist and she pressed every part of herself into me. "Oh you bitch," I growled when she grinned at me and ground her hips into mine, "uh, I wanna paint you because he said he liked the painting of you that he saw at my show." I gasped when her hand ran down my body and toyed with my clit while her teeth nipped and ran across my neck.

"So? What does that have to do with anything?" she whispered, letting out a breathy moan when I licked across one of her nipples.

I let my mouth free her budding pink nipple to think, so I could look in her lust-filled eyes and explain just why I needed her and her sexy body. "He wants one like that, so I need you to pose for me. He said he'll pay five-thousand for it-"

"Dollars?" She squeaked, halting her movements.

I rolled my eyes, "No, pesos," I joked, when she narrowed her eyes and stood up. _Mmm._ Maybe this position would be better. I leaned forward and stretched up a little bit to run my tongue across the small clit ring there. She ran her hands through my hair and uttered my name once before I started running my fingers up toward her entrance.

She pushed me away then, smiling when I pouted. "Alright smartass, I think right now is the best time for you to paint me. What with Edward being out of town and all."

That was a very good point. Edward was in California right now, doing business with some of his father's clients. He left on Monday morning, after a sex-filled night with me at his place, and would be gone until Friday afternoon. At least I didn't have to pretend to get immersed in wedding planning for this entire week, and I could just enjoy Alice for that time. I didn't even want to think of June, not now, and not ever. Not with this beautiful woman in front of me so willing to fulfill every sexual need I ever had.

After staring at her glorious body, getting insanely turned on when she ran some body wash down her stomach and turned on the shower, I agreed. "Alright," I sighed, shaking away the black thoughts of being Edward's wife for the rest of my life, "after we wash off, we'll set the mood."

Her hands ran up and down my body, trying her very best to tempt me – and succeeding. My lips captured hers when she pushed me up against the wall and her hands ran down to the increasingly wet spot between my legs. She kissed down my body then, running her fingers down to my entrance.

"Alice," I moaned, grabbing her dry hair in my fist as she licked and teased my clit with her tongue. The warm water beat down on our bodies, only heating the lust inside of my body more. I pulled her up after a few minutes and our lips met at the same time our fingers entered each other. My tongue twisted with hers as our moans filled the small bathroom hungrily. I loved this part of Alice living with me – meaningless sex that was just sex and nothing else was expected from it. It was refreshing, and just what we both needed right now.

She started whimpering my name and I knew she was close, I could feel her pushing against my hand with every fast curl of my fingers. I could feel my own release building quickly when she kissed me again, biting down on my lower lip. We panted, groaned, and finally I felt her let go against me, breathing out my name heavily on her lips. The sight of her in such elation was enough to make my toes curl in anticipation and the ball tightening in my stomach explode. She grinned when I could finally open my eyes and pant away the intensity, and licked her fingers clean. I wrapped her up in my arms and grinned when she thrust her cute little ass into my hips.

I'd been thinking a lot lately about keeping Alice. Maybe I could convince Edward I needed a friend when we moved upstate. But would Alice ever go for that? I doubted it, she could find someone a million times sexier than I was that could give her everything she deserved. Marriage. Love. A public relationship. But I pushed those thoughts away when she looked up at me and smiled. I'd take as much time with her and that gorgeous beam of a smile as I could get.

She threw me a towel and dried off her hair minimally. "So, where are we going to do this?" she wondered when we wandered back out into the living room.

First, I opened the blinds and let the city smirk at us through the windows. Then, I moved the black futon we bought for her to sleep on out beside the windows. I didn't want her to just be sitting there nude though, so I told her to go blow dry her hair and make it flat against her head, unlike how it was usually messy around her face. She came out, looking ravishing in her satin black robe with a long skinny cigarette sticking out of her mouth. "Perfect," I whispered and touched her shoulders, pushed her to sit on the couch, left one of her shoulders exposed – the one furthest away from where I would be painting. She held the cigarette away from her lips and looked back at me with that sexy smirk on her lips.

"Perfect, just cross this leg over that one," I commanded, which made her body face the wall of windows and her abdomen turned to face me. She looked sexy, definitely more erotic than the last one that was so innocent. I could even see part of the spot between her legs when I sat down to paint what I saw. Before she could forget, she threw me a quarter.

"I'm paying for a copy for me to keep at home, alright? I understand the original has to go to some dude in Chicago," she rolled her eyes when I stuck it in the pocket of my shorts and went back to my canvas. I had my paints and various brushes set out, so I chose the smallest one I could find, and began. It wasn't hard to paint the beautiful woman in front of me, even though she kept smiling and moving, I was certain I captured her.

"So, I feel like we're in Titanic..." she hinted and I rolled my eyes.

"Except when we're done here I'm not going to fuck you in a car. Maybe on my bed, though," I joked, getting a smirk off her lips again. She threw a slipper at me, and I dodged it expertly. I'd had many things thrown at me with Rose being around and drunk, so I was the master at evading anything.

I was just beginning to finish the last of it when my door swung wide open and Rose came in with a bag of takeout in her hands. "So Bella I got Thai food from Sechwan Palace and picked up a few movies from Blockbuster. Have you ever seen-" Alice and I both froze when she looked up from her phone, her eyes were wide as saucers and her mouth fell open with a pop. This was the end. Rose was going to freak out and tell us that she was calling our fiancé's. I looked at Alice, who had covered up her body and was staring at me with the same terrified expression that was on my face. We waited for her initial shock to wear off and I stood so I could try and explain.

Then, she did what I never expected her to do in a situation like this. She laughed. "Shit Bells, you should have told me that you were painting Alice, I would have canceled our movie night. Let me see how far you've gotten," she set down the food and the movies, walked over to my canvas, and Alice and I shared a look of complete alleviation. She saw it for what it was, and not some weird display of affection between the two of us.

She appreciated the work and Alice came over, still a bit shaky, but when she saw what Rose was gaping at she did the same. "That bad?" I wondered, looking at the painting of a woman sitting across a couch, smirking with her legs cross, a long cigarette in her fingers, and her breasts exposed. The background was the brick wall of my apartment, along with the window that she sat by and the black futon. A few of my plants were even in it, and I didn't remember drawing them.

"That good. Shit Bells, it looks like a Guillaume Seignac, but with Alice, not some random lady." Rose smiled, but I didn't think it was that good. I just painted what I saw, and that was a beautiful woman sitting in front of me with a smile. I wrapped my arm around Alice's shoulders and grinned at her.

"Like it?" I asked, nodding toward the canvas. She nodded, still staring at herself in the painting, and kissed my cheek.

"I love it," she hugged me, "thank you, Bells. Really." She whispered the last part and I saw her guarded eyes open up and adore me. I hadn't been looked at like that in a long time, so I blushed and walked over to the kitchen skin to wash up. We'd been sitting there for three or four hours straight, my back was rigid, and my hands were covered in paint. Rose followed me while Alice sat back to marvel at herself in art.

She spun me around when I got to the sink and gave me a smirk, "I know there's something else going on here-"

"Nothing's going on between us. I'm with Edward, duh," I defended with a hysterical giggle and immediately she rolled her blue eyes.

She linked her arm with mine and nudged me when I blushed because she had caught us fucking red handed, "But I'm not gonna say anything. It's your decision whether you tell your man or not. Personally," she looked at Alice and her eyes darkened in an unfamiliar way, "I'd take that fine piece of woman over Emmett or any other man any day of the week, but I don't have your courage. Make her happy and don't fuck things up, alright?" She warned, making me believe my jaw would fall off my face if I gaped at her for any longer.

I nodded and hugged her quickly, as to not cause too much of a scene. "Thank you so much Rose, I can't even tell you how fucking happy she makes me. We're not saying it, but I really care about her," I admitted and she nodded as she poured herself a cup of coffee, "and I couldn't ever do anything to hurt her." Wasn't that true?

I watched Alice stand up and smile down at the painting before going over to my bed and taking her pajamas. I could see a flash of happiness in her eyes when she caught me staring and when Rose went to start the movie, Alice got dressed and came over to kiss me roughly on my lips. I held in my moans when she pulled me over to the bathroom and pressed me against the door.

My hands roamed up her shirt when our lips parted and she looked at me with a dark look in her eyes; one I immediately recognized as lust. She pushed her hips into mine, and whispered in my ear after nibbling on the lobe. "When she leaves, I want you. I'm going to make you-"

"Oh come on guys," Rose sighed as she walked over to where we stood, guiltily looking at her; Alice just looked terrified, "can't you wait until I go home to jump each other? Come on, I got P.S. I Love You so we can cry the entire way through it."

Alice opened and closer her mouth a few times before Rose went away and when she asked me what the fuck was going on, I just stopped her. "Ally, I learned a long time ago to just roll with Rose's strangeness instead of asking about it."

She calmed her wild eyes and just shook her head, "whatever. As long as when she goes we can fuck, I don't wanna know the rest." I laughed at how confused she looked and wrapped her up in my arms when we sat beside Rose on the couch. She curled up into my other side and rested her head on my shoulder when I threw a blanket over the three of us. The movie started, but my mind was more preoccupied with the woman in my arms. If perfection existed, I knew that she was human, alive, and lying between my legs.

**A/N:**

**Wooot ! Thank you Shabba, you're the best n_n**

**Review it **

**-Dee**


	11. Trust

**A/N: **I'm sorry this is late! If you read my other stories, the AN is the same for pretty much all of them. I've been super excited for Breaking Dawn (haven't you?) and it's consuming my every extra thought! Also, I've been working a lot this week because my boss is a douche that likes to pair me with the pickiest designers in the world and my friend wants me to help him write the screenplay for his porn flick. I haven't had much time to write my fics between all that. :) **Anyway, here it is. This chapter is gonna be a very big turning point for Alice. **

**Oh, and as always, I've gotta thank Shabba for editing this. :)**

**Chapter Eleven**

**Trust **

**(Apov) **

"Oh...uh yeah, sure," Bella panted from her spot on top of the counter in response to what the person on the phone asked. I was between her legs, toying with the soft skin around her clit with my tongue. She was on the phone to Edward, and I felt a little bit ignored, so when she went to get something from the fridge, I pushed her against the counter with a hungry look in my eyes that made her mouth fall open. It was so funny to me: if he could see what I was doing I wasn't sure if he'd be furious or turned on. Either way, it would make for an interesting sex-filled night.

Since she put it on speakerphone, I could hear everything being said from the man that was almost four thousand miles away. "What are you doing?" He asked with confusion in his deep voice. I giggled when she glared down at me, but didn't push me away.

"Oh," she gasped when I bit down gently, "uh what? Nothing! Can I call you back? I think the mail is here," she lied. Bella baby, it's eleven at night why would the mailman be here? I laughed again when she wrapped one leg around my shoulders and let her hands rummage through my hair.

Edward sighed, "Alright. Call me tomorrow baby, I love you." We could both hear the irritation in his voice, but she said it back and hung up quickly.

_Psh, asshole, she only loves you when she's got my tongue in her pussy. _I couldn't help myself from giggling at my own thoughts.

She gripped my hair and I expected to get pushed away, but she pulled me closer and groaned loudly. I was up by her lips almost immediately, and she shoved me against the wall roughly. I loved it when she threw me around, and I couldn't exactly say why. This was the thing I liked about living with Bella. She saw it like it was: sex and a little bit of friend love. But mostly sex. I wrapped my arms around her neck as she kissed me, attacking my tongue with hers. I was already so wet for her, and she knew it when she dipped her fingers past my boxers.

"So, I couldn't help but notice you were so miserable talking to him." I grinned when she picked me up in her arms and started carrying me over to the couch.

She kissed my cheek when we lied down beside each other, and smirked as she whispered to me, "I'll have to thank you for that."

I bit my lip and rolled on top of her, taking her sweet lips in mine again. "I can think of a few ways for you to do that," I hinted as I bumped my hips into hers. She giggled and wrapped her arms around my neck, trading positions with me. I watched as she kissed down my chest and licked under my boxers with that sexy tongue before discarding them. I gasped when her tongue ran across my sex and her fingers entered me simultaneously. The girl had magic fingers because all it took for me to come undone were a few strokes upward and that motion of her sexy tongue. I was panting when she didn't stop and continued fingering me and licking away all of the moisture around my clit. Her hands reached up and pinched my hard nipples, and I sat up abruptly and threw her down on the cold wooden floor. She moaned when my hands ripped her clothes off and fondled her perfect tits at the same time. I sat on her hips and ran my hands between us to tease her clit while we kissed and rubbed against each other.

She was gasping, breathing out my name as I drove her closer to her peak with every roll of my fingers across her wet pussy. I loved it when she whimpered my name, and instead of closing her eyes when she came, she looked into mine and let me know I was the one doing this for her. Just like I did for her. I took her hard nipple in my mouth when her back arched and her pussy tightened around my fingers.

She slumped into my arms then, and I wrapped her up in them as best as I could while she panted and moaned a few more times. She looked up at me with dazed eyes and kissed my lips one more time, slowly sliding her tongue into my mouth. "Alice," she whispered against my lips and I felt my heart sputter stupidly, "you're amazing."

I smirked and wrapped my legs around her when she settled between them. "Let's go to bed," I suggested when her eyes drooped. She nodded and I picked up her near weightless body in my arms, swinging her away from the bright red couch to the innocent white bed. It was Thursday, meaning Edward would be home tomorrow night, and I wanted to spend all the time I could with her because I knew he was going to whisk her away to his apartment the second he was back. Jealousy ate me up, and I hated to admit that. I wanted this to just be casual sex between friends, and I told myself that was all it was; even if my heart beat faster when she touched me.

She was already out by the time I got comfortable beside her, and when I lied down she curled up into my side. Things were getting complicated. Way too complicated for my liking. I thought this was just sex, and it was because we didn't act like a couple, but why did I feel like we were? Why did I want to be able to call her my girlfriend, instead of Edward being able to? I didn't have the answers for those questions, and even if I did I'd deny them. This was just sex – very hot sex with a very beautiful girl who wanted me just as much as I wanted her.

...Right?

"Ally," Bella's voice came through the blackness of my mind: I didn't even know I was asleep, but when I opened my eyes she was sitting on me with a smile on her lips and it was definitely morning. I could feel the sun on my skin and that only made me grumble and shove a pillow over my face. "Bella, what time is it?" I croaked, feeling like I hadn't been asleep for as long as I should have been.

"Early, but it has to be," she laughed when I groaned and rolled over, flopping her on her side next to me, "come on, we're going somewhere today!" Her enthusiasm was foreign to me, but when I peeked out I saw her eyes were bright and she looked genuinely excited for whatever she had planned. I knew I couldn't say no. I didn't really want to say no, anyway.

I sat up, looking at her with one eye cracked open. "Where are we going and do I need to be dressed to get there?"

She clapped her hands and stood up quickly, pulling on a tattered sweatshirt in the process. "You'll see, just put on some jeans and a t-shirt. Bring a sweater too: it'll be cold."

After getting dressed in my favorite skinny jeans, with a tank top and a shirt under my sweatshirt, we were pulling shoes that had to have laces. I didn't understand why, but apparently she did. Instead of going toward the bus or the train though, we went down to a parking garage a few blocks away from her apartment. It was almost bitterly cold outside, and when she waved toward the man at the gate, I couldn't help but wonder if she did own a car. They weren't very practical for this city, so when she pushed the button down on a key and lights flashed I knew we weren't sticking in town for very long.

"You have a car?" I asked as she walked over to the Volvo. Hm. It was hard to picture her being the proud owner of a shiny silver Volvo. Maybe a truck or a beat up old car, but not this fine piece of machinery. It had Edward written all over it.

She rolled her eyes and opened the passenger door for me. "No, Edward has a car that he keeps here. He wants me to use it though, and claims it's mine, but I never use it because I never leave the city," she explained when she got into the driver side. Well, that did explain why she was adjusting the mirrors and the seat was situated for someone taller than six-foot. But it still didn't explain why we were leaving the city that had virtually everything you could do in it.

"So," I asked when she jolted out into traffic and headed for a tunnel out of town, "mind telling me where we're going?" I laughed when she shook her head and continued on toward the worst place in the whole world. And when she took the exit off of the Holland Tunnel, I knew exactly where we were going, just not why.

"New Jersey? Bella why the fuck are we going to Jersey?" I complained as I scrunched my nose up in disapproval. She laughed at my expression and took my hand in hers on top of the console. The connection made my heart calm and my body turn to jelly, but I tried to keep up my disgusted grimace for as long as I could.

She sighed and turned on to the Garden State Parkway, obviously seeing through my fake distress. "Well I'm not gonna tell you why we're going, just that it's impossible to do what I have planned in the city."

That was troubling. "We aren't going to milk cows on some Amish farm are we?" I whispered, looking over at her very curiously because if she was into that, I didn't think this would work. In any lifetime.

She frowned and let out one short laugh. "What? Alice," she shook her head and looked over at me when it was safe to, "no. I promise we aren't going to a farm. We are going out to a field by the Jersey Shore. Don't worry, just sit back and enjoy the calming effects of nothingness on the freeway." She droned dryly as she continued to stare out the windshield. Oh yes, I would undoubtedly do that.

Tree, another tree, random bush, more trees, lone cow, passing cars, occasional toll booth. "Okay, maybe some music." I laughed when we both noticed the awkward silence and snickered at it. I took her hand in mine again as the raspy vocals of Gaga soothed us and broke the awkward bubble that had formed. It was an increasingly cloudy day, even for the Northeast, and I hoped this excursion had nothing to do with being outside, but with Bella I never knew. She always surprised me.

We took an exit after about an hour and a half into the trip, and I hoped this would finally bring an end to the random fields and trees outside my window. We ended up in a town, but not for long because she took the first left we could at a stop light and continued on to the Monmouth Executive Airport. An airport? We were going somewhere? "You know, JFK is like twenty miles from where we live..." I hinted nervously and she smirked at me.

"Well JFK doesn't offer what I'm looking for." That was when she pointed out the window and I saw the sign. It was in bright colors and only one word, but that word made my stomach, and my mouth, drop.

"Skydiving? Bella you want to fucking go skydiving?" I gasped when we stopped in front of a small building with two small, bright red planes beside it. This was insanity, and I was gasping noiselessly when she got out and opened my door for me.

She seemed surprised that I was in such shock. "Come on Alice, I remember you telling me you weren't afraid of anything. Please? I've always wanted to do this and Edward's too much of a pussy to jump out of a plane with me, so I figured you would," she even pouted as she explained the situation to me. How could I say no to those brown eyes? She was right: I wasn't afraid of anything, especially not jumping out of a plane with her. Well...maybe a little. But if she wanted to, I would do it because she was my best friend.

"You jump, I jump," I quoted, getting a large smirk from her. She kissed my lips, so deeply that I was out of place until she pulled away. I really had to get control of myself and hold back the desperate moans whenever we'd kiss. We were both already hungry for more, and I knew as soon as this skydiving thing was over, we would go back to her place and act on the lust already boiling inside of us.

"Thanks, Ally. You're my best friend," she swore, pressing her forehead into mine when I embraced her.

I hated that term, but I knew it was the best description for whatever we were. "And you're mine. Come on, let's get this over with and hope we don't splatter all over the field."

We met a few men who would be going up with us. They explained all about how they'd be attaching themselves to us and pulling the chute so we didn't kill ourselves. There was no work for Bella and me other than getting the courage to jump out of a plane more than ten-thousand feet above the ground. Scary thought, even as I did get into the plane with her. She held my hand and kissed my cheek lovingly, showing me her appreciation for doing this.

Now, I'd been in planes before but never one with the door hanging wide open. I pressed my back into the other side, my eyes very wide, as we began to climb. It felt like forever that we were in the plane because my stomach rose and fell every time we'd even out. Bella looked very ready as the man connected himself to her, and the other guy connected himself to me. I gulped when they gave each other a thumb's up.

"You ladies ready?" They yelled over the roar of the engine.

I looked at Bella and saw fear in her eyes too, but when I grabbed her hand she smiled and nodded. "You," I laughed, "you will owe me for a hundred years for this!" I shouted, making her giggle back delightedly while I took a second look at the drop down. It was very far, and the ground looked very solid from up here.

She took my hand then and pulled me and the dude behind me closer. "Do you trust me?" She asked, looking at me seriously.

"Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?" I shouted back as the plane roared higher.

She took my face in her hands, kissed me roughly, and I could see a smile in her eyes. "Then you know that I won't let you hit the ground. I love you, girl. You're my best friend, the very best friend I've ever had, alright?" She laughed, but the words paralyzed me. Even if it was friend love. She felt something other than lust, and that was all I needed to jump out right after her.

She didn't seem to notice my shell-shocked expression, because she squealed a little and let the guy carry her over to the edge. Tandem skydiving was a very good idea for people like us, that was for sure. He jumped first and my heart raced when I saw her fall out of that open door so fast, I was the one who pulled the other guy out.

It was an adrenaline rush I'd never even found when there was a seventy-five percent off sale at Macy's. I screamed in terror as our bodies rushed through the air, but I couldn't hear myself making any noise in the whooshing air. I could see Bella right next to me, smiling with her arms wide open while I tried not to shit myself. She looked so carefree. So happy to be flying through the air and it made me smile. She was beautiful when she smiled, but I didn't have much time to think about it because the man pulled the chute open and we shot up so the world and noise could come back to us. Suddenly, everything was put into perspective and the world was so beautiful above the clouds. I looked over and saw Bella sighing and leaning against the guy happily, that silly smirk still on her face.

The ground came up impossibly slow, nearly seven minutes of being away from Bella after she dropped that huge love bomb on me and made me jump out of a plane after her. I wanted to know what she was thinking, see what she was feeling about all of this. She looked peaceful, even as we landed gracefully only ten feet apart from each other. I thanked the guy, he smirked and handed me his number, which was very confusing, but I ran over to my Bella afterward.

"Fucking amazing, right?" She laughed as I hugged her to me tightly and we fell into the grassy field.

I nodded and pressed my lips to hers, eager to get the spark back. "Fuckawesome is more like it," I laughed, "shit girl I love you and your crazy plans." I laughed, grinning when she blushed. I hoped she thought it was just friend love because I didn't want to go over that little speed bump yet. I wasn't even sure if it wasn't friend love, anyway.

"So next time you can trust me when I choose not to tell you," she grinned, kissing my lips again, "now let's go get a coffee. I'm super cold," she sniffled. I held out my hand after I stood up and she took it, only to be wrapped up in my arms on the way back to the car. I kissed her cheek and rubbed her arms to create some friction, and I could hear her holding back soft moans at my touch. It was satisfying to feel this milestone in our relationship, yeah I was going to call it that now, had gone over very smoothly. We'd said I love you and it didn't even get awkward. How cool was that?

"So want me to drive, sweetie?" I asked, holding my hand out for the keys. She nodded, still a bit dazed from the rush, and I opened the passenger door for her to get in. That was the second best rush of my life. The first came only seconds before I jumped out of the plane, and I had to say my legs were still jelly from hearing her say I love you, but I got in the driver's seat anyway.

Bella cuddled up with a blanket in the seat after we got a coffee, and I turned back onto the freeway that would take us home. I really did enjoy this car, even if it reminded me too much of Edward. Edward. That butt monger was coming back tonight. It made me grumble to think our time was up, but I knew all good things came to an end eventually. Even Bella was quietly lost in thought as we entered the city again, and I hoped she wasn't thinking too much about my affectionate words to her. I didn't want to lose her over an I love you that didn't mean anything.

"What you thinking about?" I asked quietly when the silence became too much to bear. She looked at me and smiled, taking my hand in hers.

She kissed my cheek and I could feel myself blushing when her eyes adored me. "Fucking you against the wall in my house because you trusted me enough to jump when I did."

I gulped when she started kissing down my neck and smirking to herself when my breathing spiked. "That sounds incredibly good right now," I panted out when she started running her hands across the front of my jeans. Suddenly, I was rushing to get this car parked so I could whisk her away into the apartment and explore every inch of her body with my tongue. I shivered just thinking about her lying beneath me, moaning and touching herself while I kissed every inch of her.

It was hard for my to believe we weren't all over each other after the car was parked and we were down the road, but even as we entered the apartment she was a few steps ahead of me with the sexy grin on her full lips. I ran into her when she stopped abruptly, complaining that it hurt, until I saw what she did. What made her stop so suddenly wasn't anything good, and it might have just been the undoing of us both.

Edward was standing in the living room, holding the painting she'd drawn of me in his hands, a very deep scowl on his face. He looked murderously angry when he saw our hands drop between us while our eyes bugged out of our heads. He spoke then, his deep velvet voice controlled. "What the _fuck_ is this?"

**A/N: **

**OOOO :D **

**Review **

**-Dee**


	12. Betrayal

**A/N: hehe sorry this is late! Last weekend was epic because I was busy almost everyday! And this week...well a certain someone *pokes Shabba* has been friggen distracting me to no end! But it's okay, I enjoy his distractions. They make me smile :D**

**Oh and keep in mind they are FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS, not romantically tied together, and Bella fucked up, so don't get pissed at me :) **

**Chapter Twelve**

**Betrayal**

**(Bpov)**

"What the _fuck _is this?" Edward looked directly at me, glaring so deeply I thought his face might stay that way. I'd never seen him so mad before, and I didn't quite understand why a naked painting would piss him off so much. He saw the other one, and it was very clearly of Alice.

Alice was speechless, gaping like a fish just like I was. I decided now was the best time to speak. "I got a phone call," I whispered, coughing to gather my voice, "from a guy in Chicago. He wanted a nude for his collection, so I asked Alice if I could paint her. She obviously said yes," I laughed, going over to him to take the painting from his hands. He was still glaring, but much less so and I could see understanding flash in his eyes when I set it back down on the floor.

"Can I talk to you?" He asked, ignoring Alice's paling face. I looked over at her and she nodded, walked over to the place where she slept, and gave us some privacy by shutting the curtain. He grabbed my arm then, dragging me almost painfully to the door. He slammed it shut, and when we were outside he lit up a cigarette and huffed out a foggy breath.

He looked in my terrified eyes. "I don't know what the fuck is going on between you two, and I really don't care. I'm just going to say it once: me or her." His eyes were black when my mouth fell open and I fished around for words that I didn't have. He seriously expected me to choose between him and Alice?

"What," I wondered, looking at him, "where the fuck did this come from? She's just my friend! I'm not going to chose between my friends and you. That's like me asking you to choose between Emmett and me!" I accused, glaring at him for even making me think about getting rid of Alice. That wasn't going to happen any damn time soon. I needed her, and today I felt something that I'd never had – love. Really, real true love. And it was for her. Edward wasn't going to take that away from me.

He shoved me against the wall then, holding me arm tightly, and spread my legs open with one of his so I couldn't get away even if I wanted to. This was the first time I had ever been afraid of Edward, and I'd never wanted to be. "I'm not fucking stupid, Bella. You spend more time with her than you do with me, and I don't fucking like it. I know she's your friend, but I'm your fiancé, and you are mine. You're staying with me tonight, so you might as well tell her that. And if you don't," he warned, "I'll find a way to make _her_ leave." I could hear the threat in his words, and they sank deep into my core, petrifying me with horror. He would hurt her if I didn't leave with him.

I nodded, fearful as he pushed me into the wall harder. I felt tears in my eyes when he let me go and pointed to the door after a few moments of abusing me with his eyes. "Go tell her you'll be staying with me tonight and that you'll be back in the morning."

Alice was inside, sitting on the couch, but not watching the TV when I got in. By the look of rage on her face, she had heard everything he said. She didn't turn toward me when I reached for my duffel bag, but she did speak to me like she was controlling her tone. "So what's it gonna be? Me or him?" Her words surprised me because I could hear the jealousy and hurt in them.

Great. Now Alice was even asking me to choose between the impossible. I looked down at her tiny body and saw her arms and legs were crossed; she was very angry with me already, so I knew that my answer would only fuel that anger. "You know I don't have a choice-"

"Bullshit," she scoffed, standing up to face me, "there's always a choice. You could choose to be happy and stay here with me, but you just had to pick him didn't you? You can't stand to live your life without some sort of complication, can you Bella?" She glared at me deeply before plopping back down on the couch and huffing to herself.

I sat by her and tried to make peace. "Alice, you know if I could I would stay here and be wrapped up in your arms all night, but I can't. He's my fiancé-"

"And I'm just the one you fuck when he's being an asshole," she shot back, tears in her eyes as she spoke the truth, "what are you waiting for? Go run back to Edward, see if I give a shit." She was snarling by the time she let out all her fury, and I didn't blame her. I took my bag in my hands, turned around without another word and hid the tears in my eyes as I walked out the door to where Edward was standing.

We got to his place after a very awkwardly silent taxi ride across town, and he threw me inside with a black look in his eyes. I held in a choked sob as he pushed me against the wall and his lips trailed down my neck. I could feel every inch of him pressed up against me, and when he growled in my ear, my skin went cold and I let my mind wander. "I'm going to make you forget that there ever was a girl named Alice." He promised, but I knew it was a lie. I'd never forget Alice, because I was undoubtedly in love with her. I had been for a long time, and seeing her trust me so completely today only helped me understand my feelings, and accept them for what they were.

It was life altering to know I had fallen out of love with the man ravaging me on his bed and into love with a girl I met in a bar that was supposed to be a one night stand. "I love you," I whispered out loud, but the words weren't for the man above me. I shut my eyes and held in yelp of pain when he entered me very roughly. My body was turned over violently and he grunted as he lifted my hips and took me further into misery with each thrust. So I did what I always did when I knew I couldn't get away from his rough touch: I thought of Alice. But this time, I saw her crying and leaving me, not smiling and telling me to keep my chin up cause she'd always be there.

When his thrusts quickened and his sweaty hands ran across my silhouette, I knew he was done. "Fuck," he panted, turning me over to place a kiss on my mouth, "I missed you, babe." He kissed sloppily down my neck and pulled me into the curve of his arms, but I had no intention of staying there after he slept. I had made the biggest mistake of my life not choosing Alice over Edward, and I could see that now. I didn't care if I was supposed to be someone else with him, I didn't want that. And I knew that the reason I had been so reluctant to marry him all this time was because I had been waiting for her.

"I'm not your babe," I whispered when I could hear him starting to fall asleep, "I'm done with you." I knew he wouldn't hear me, but I grabbed my bag, threw my ring on the pillow next to him, and slammed the front door after putting all of my clothes back on. I ran down the street, catching a cab and spewing my address very hurriedly.

I threw a twenty in the front seat and hopped out as quick as I could, mumbling a thank you to the driver. If she was still here, maybe I wasn't too late to tell her how much of a fuck up I was and that I'd made the biggest mistake of my life when I walked out that door. Of course, that would bring on the whole I love you thing, but I didn't care at this point. I did love her, and if that's what it took to keep her with me, I'd say it. Even if I was terrified of the idea.

"Alice!" I called, turning on the kitchen light as I threw my bag to the side. I smiled for a few seconds until I looked around and saw no one was here. But...all of her things were still here. She had even left a half full glass of hot chocolate, spiked with brandy, on the counter. Her shorts were thrown in the hamper, and her favorite red dress was missing, along with her black Jimmy Choo's. She had left, but taken club clothing with her? I fell to my ass in the pathetic excuse for a hallway, felt tears running down my cheeks, and knew that she had gone to get drunk because of me; maybe she'd even pick up another girl and move out tomorrow.

So I waited.

One in the morning. I was sure I had scrubbed every morsel of filth out of the kitchen, thinking about what the hell she could be doing this late at Rose's club.

Two in the morning. I had moved on to the bathroom and living room, changed my clothes and taken two or three showers to calm my wrecked nerves. What if she didn't want to be with me? What if she just wanted sex out of this? I couldn't even think about that pain right now, and tried to get myself to look at the bright side of my suffering. At least I would never take her for granted anymore, that was one thing I was one hundred percent sure of. I finally settled for lying across the couch, watching a stupid romantic comedy. All the while I lazed around the house, cleaning other things, tapping my fingers on the tile.

Two-thirty-five was when she walked in, and I could smell booze on her before I could actually see her. And she wasn't alone.

Her arms were wrapped around a very skinny tan girl with brown eyes, big fake tits, and no ass. She looked over at me with glossy eyes, and when she saw my heartbroken face she laughed in it. "Oh, don't worry about her Maria, she's just my roommate, Bella. She's engaged, actually, gonna be married sometime in June? July? I don't remember," She chuckled when the girl started biting down on her neck and the big green monster of jealousy raged inside of me, "Bella, we're gonna go to my room and ...well I'm pretty sure you can guess." She was glaring at me and that answered my question from before: yes, I had fucked up big time. Maria laughed and bit her lip when Alice dragged her to the dining room, covered by a thick black curtain so she could have privacy.

I was frozen in place, gaping at the opened door until I got so cold I had to shut it. I could feel icy dread filling my every pore when the girl began moaning and sighing things in Spanish to the woman I loved. I ignored the noise Alice made as she begged for more when the girl went down on her, and slid my headphones in while I crawled into my bed. I grabbed her pillow, letting all of my tears out when her smell came to my nose, and sobbed as I curled into it. My music wasn't that loud in my ears, and that was partially because I was hoping she'd come and tell me she wanted me, not that whore, but I really doubted she would.

"Bella?" Alice tapped my shoulder, jolting me out of my hypnotized trance at the moon. I glanced over at her and she was still drunk, so not much time had passed. What I didn't expect to see was the creamy white skin of her upper thighs, or her perfect breasts nearly in my face as she reached for something.

I sat up, looking at her hopefully, "yeah?" I whispered, taking out my ear buds.

She reached in my nightstand, took out her vibrator, and stepped away from me with a scorned smile on her lips. She could see the pain on my face, and I was sure that it was because this was something I deserved. I saw equal, if not greater, hurt when I left her tonight. She took her pillow from my arms as well, and turned away, completely naked in the moonlight, "nothing. I just wanted these. I'm not gonna be staying with you anymore, so I figured why keep them here? My share of the rent will be here tomorrow and after that I'll start looking for my own place."

Then, without even giving me a chance to tell her my feelings, she walked past the curtain and their giggling resumed, breaking me apart with every breathy moan. I shoved the headphones back in my ears, cracked up some very loud rock music, cried freely as my heart broke off and died in my chest, and let myself drift off into a land where things were much less complicated.

**A/N: **

**And thank my Shabba for editing this. :D **

**Review it :D**

**-Dee**


	13. Blackmail

**A/N: Yay for multiple perspective chapters! :D And, even with my beta Shabba's pleasant distractions, I'm getting my chapters out. *Proud smile* **

**Chapter Thirteen **

**Blackmail**

**(Bpov)**

I woke up when my music stopped playing, and I could smell coffee brewing away in the kitchen. When I opened my eyes, I saw Alice's futon made up, all of her clothes off the floor, and finally Alice sitting on the couch ripping up a napkin in her fingers. She looked nervous when I sat up, but her expression thawed when she saw that I really was awake. There had been a few false alarms that made me roll over and go back to sleep this morning. Even if I was pissed off and hurt beyond imagination, seeing her alone made me a little bit happier, and I knew it was time to get up.

"Bella," she sighed when I sat down on a stool and sipped at some coffee she'd prepared, "I am so sorry. I don't know what the hell I was doing last night. I was drunk, she was all over me, and I don't even remember bringing her home-"

"Oh cut the crap, Alice," I snapped, finally looking over at her. Her eyes widened when I stood up and glared down at where she was a few inches below me. She was cowering away from me like a child that had been caught with its hand in the cookie jar, and she should have been. She brought that strange bitch in here without even giving me fair warning. I would have rather slept under the Brooklyn bridge than hear the way she mewed and gasped under Maria's touch. How many other girls had there been when I was forced to stay with Edward? I didn't even want to _think_ about that.

I threw my cup in the sink, not really caring about how loud it sounded as it clattered against the metal. I didn't speak to her, for I was afraid I'd say something out of anger that I really didn't mean. I had to walk the dogs today anyway, something I hadn't done in a while, and now was as good of a time as ever. I grabbed my jeans, pulled on some boots, and when I went to the door, she finally stopped me. She turned me around by my arm and I saw a terrified look in her eyes. "Bella-"

"Are you going to apologize to me for bringing some stupid slut into my house or fucking her senseless and making me feel worse than shit?" I growled as I put my hand on the door handle and swatted hers away. So much for not saying anything I didn't mean; by the look on her face she was just as pissed off as I was, and that wasn't good.

"You think I should apologize for bringing a girl home? Fuck you!" She snapped as she slammed the door shut and stood in front of it. She had tears in her eyes, and she wiped them away before she looked at me again and swallowed audibly. I was surprised to see this girl, because I'd never seen her angry at me before. She only ever got angry at Edward and Jasper.

She took a few steps closer to me. "You think I like seeing you with him? You think it doesn't hurt me seeing you love him, in your own way. It kills me knowing that only hours before you're with me in that bed," she pointed to my bed as the tears started falling down her cheeks, "you're with him in his." I blushed, unable to accept that she felt so deeply about this because I knew that meant she didn't just want me as her own personal sex slave anymore, and maybe her feelings mirrored mine now. She wanted something more, and that was something I wanted to give her so badly, but knew I never could.

All of this talk made my heart soar, because she was jealous and in pain just like I was, and as bad as that sounded in my thoughts, it was a good thing. But after last night, and the side of Alice that I saw, I wasn't just going to jump in and spill my feelings for her. I was unnecessarily cold and unfeeling when I shoved past her and opened the front door. "Well that's all fine and dandy, Alice," I laughed, "but when you come back to the real world, you know, where this is just sex, I'll be waiting."

"You're right," she spoke up before I could walk outside into the cold New York weather, "you're totally right. I'm sorry, I was just drunk and Maria meant nothing. It won't happen again," she smiled, shyly looking up at my intense stare.

I snorted, nodding. "Of course it won't," she exhaled, "because I'm moving out. I don't want to listen to you fucking any other women in my house when you get jealous of Edward again. You can stay here if you'd like but I'm," I blinked away the moisture in my eyes, "I'm moving in with Edward." I nearly choked out the last sentence, because it broke off what was left of my heart and made me empty inside. I didn't want to see her face as I grabbed the leashes, took my keys, and slammed the door shut. She would be devastated, and I knew that, but I was giving her time to find another place. I needed to wean myself off Alice as quickly as possible, even if that meant giving her my apartment and moving in with Edward.

Tears were rolling down my cheeks already, and I was only two blocks away from home. I wouldn't make it to the park and I wouldn't be able to walk a bunch of dogs while a fissure opened in my chest and I gasped away the pain uselessly. There was only one person, my best friend in the whole world, that I could go to right now. I caught a cab and made it to his house before he was even awake. I let myself in and started another pot of coffee downstairs before I crept up into the steps. I'd never noticed it before, but he had pictures of us all over his house and my things thrown everywhere like I left them. It was oddly comforting to know he was so used to me he stopped noticing I existed. But I needed him now, and I'd take him half-lucid if that was all I'd get.

He was lying across his bed, curled up into a pillow, and when I came in he popped an eye open. I could see him smiling at me, and it reminded me of a time when we were younger and that smile meant everything. I dove under the blankets and threw the pillow away so I could bury my face in his muscular chest. "Whoa," he whispered, bringing me closer when he saw I was sobbing, "what happened my love? Are you okay?"

I shook my head, looking up at his worried green eyes miserably. "No, I'm not okay, but I _really_ don't want to talk about it," I stammered, shaking my head again, "can you just hold me? I really need my best friend right now."

"Yeah," he nodded, pulling me closer, "of course, Bella. I'm here for everything you need, any time you need me. I'm really sorry that things have been getting crazy between us lately, I don't know what the fuck was wrong with me yesterday. I promise I will never lay a hand on you again," he swore, and I knew that was true; he had never done that to me before, "it's just...sometimes I just get jealous of Alice and I'm not sure why but-"

"You shouldn't," I finished his sentence just as he spoke her name, "because I'm moving in with you. I miss you all the time now, and I love being here. There's plenty of space for my studio in the guest room." I assured him, and except for the smirk on his lips, I wouldn't have known he was happy with the way his eyes narrowed.

"What brought this on, baby? I mean, don't get me wrong, it makes me insanely happy, but why now?" He wondered as he moved my hair away from my neck and placed a soft kiss there.

I ran my hands through his silky bronze hair and when I shut my eyes, all I could see was Alice sighing and kissing me as I did the same thing to her. I'd have to let those thoughts go, because this plan wouldn't work if my heart was still aching over her. "I just want to start our lives together, and forget everything and _everyone_ else." _Especially her_, my thoughts added bitterly.

I could feel him smiling as he laughed and hugged me recklessly close because he was elated that I'd finally agreed. I hated these arms, because they weren't hers, but I'd have to get over that sooner rather than later. I was going to forget her if it was the last thing I ever did because she was just sex to me, or I told myself she was so I could feel better about this. I wasn't going to think about the words I was gonna tell her yesterday, because now they meant nothing. I didn't love her, and I'd tell myself that until it became true.

He kissed me and rubbed his fingers across my cheek as he cupped it. "I love you, Bella," he promised me, and there were so many things that made me doubt that, but I bit back the disobedient thoughts and let Edward's Bella, the sweet innocent girl from Forks, come back after months of hibernation.

"I love you too, Edward."

**(Apov)**

I stood there, shocked that she would give us up so easily. After everything we'd done, and possibly falling in love with each other, she was just going to let me go after my first mistake? A very bad mistake, I'd admit, but still the only one I had ever made. She wanted me to stay in this apartment, the one that would always remind me of her, while she went off to be miserable with Edward? I wasn't going to let that happen in this lifetime or any other; she deserved happiness, and I knew she had it with me. She was just pissed off and hurt, and I understood why. I'd been a bitch, but I wasn't going to let that destroy whatever we'd built together.

Bella needed me, and I was leaving the apartment to go find her. I didn't care what it took, but when I got to the door and fumbled with my keys, a man approached me. He had a scar across his face and very dark eyes that I could have sworn I'd seen before, but I couldn't place him. I didn't care who he was, I needed to get to Bella before she did something stupid that we'd both regret tomorrow. "Do I know you?" I wondered as I hurriedly locked the door and started heading toward the stairs. He was starting at me uncomfortably, and looked like he had something very important to say.

"Mary Alice Brandon, correct?" he asked, looking over some papers while he followed me down the steps. I just noticed the briefcase in his hands, and it made me frown to see a business man following me somewhere.

I rolled my eyes: he must have been one of those creepy bill collectors. I tried to think if I'd payed off my Visa card this month, but I was too distracted to think of anything but her. "I don't have time for this-"

"Oh we can make time," he grabbed my shoulder and just as I was about to scream rape, he showed me a video taken on a cellphone, "I've come to deliver a message from your husband."

I was gasping as the video from the coffee shop all those weeks ago flashed on the screen, followed by a couple more compromising ones taken from one of the apartments across the street from Bella's. This...couldn't be happening. Not now that I'd finally accepted I loved her and was on my way to tell her I wanted to be with her forever. This freak had been watching us, since the coffee shop, and I remembered him from that day instantly. He was hired by Jasper to spy on me? I should have guessed that son of a bitch wouldn't ever give up me up so easily. He just had to be a controlling dick that way.

He slid the phone back into his pocket when I stopped trying to get away, and looked at me very seriously. "I'm sure you don't want Bella's fiancé to see this?" he wondered, and when I nodded, he smirked. I'd never tell Edward what Bella and I did, because she would never want me to. Edward was her best friend, and neither of us, even me and my jealously, could hurt him like that. It had to be gently said, not shown to him in a crude sex tape.

He let me go then, clapping his hands together once as if he'd done something great. "Good, then by request of Mr. Whitlock, you are to move in to his home again immediately. You will break all ties with the Isabella girl and never come here again, or this video might end up on a DVD outside of Edward's apartment." He showed me a copy, and I felt my stomach drop. There was no way in hell I was going to let that happen. That would destroy Bella, and she'd never forgive me if she ever spoke to me again. I almost lost the breakfast I'd eaten when I realized this was all happening.

I nodded, unable to speak because my throat had swollen up. "Alright," I choked out, "let me get my things and I'll be right down."

My walk up the stairs was not made alone, and I could almost feel the stranger breathing down my neck as he followed me closely. There was no way I was ever going to see her again, unless by the grace of whatever god there was Bella came back to me and said she loved me, too. But I knew, even as I packed up all my things and stole her sweatshirt again, that was never going to happen – particularly with this goon following me for Jasper. She was too scared of what Edward would do, and now that I'd seen him toss her around so was I. I wiped away a few of the desperate tears and bit back the relentless sobs that were threatening to burst out of me.

With one last look around the messy bohemian apartment I grabbed my bags up in my arms and left one little piece of me here for her in the form of my red tattered sweater. She loved wearing this when it was cold because she said it smelled like me – whatever that meant. I inhaled deeply, remembering all of the things I'd done in this apartment as I closed me eyes. I took away her girl on girl virginity, I slept beside her and marveled over how gorgeous she was, and recently I'd fallen so in love with those brown eyes that they'd be stuck in my mind forever. I'd happily take that misery over never having the pleasure to know her in the first place. I took out a pen and paper from her makeshift studio and began to write, much like the first time I left her.

_Bella, _

_There are so many things I could say. So many things I never got the chance to tell you in these few months. Like, how you make me smile when you sleep in my arms or how when I look at you, it's not just because I'm lusting. It's because I've never seen a woman more beautiful than you are. I'd never say these things because I was afraid of them before today...but after today, you'll never see me again. _

_I'm moving back in with Jasper and continuing on with our engagement. He's a good guy, when he's happy, and I make him happy even if it makes me miserable. I hope you and Edward have many happy years together: you'll make really cute kids someday, I'm sure. _

I let out a deep sigh and wiped my tears on my sleeve before I continued. This was the hardest letter I'd ever written, because it was so difficult to tell her everything I felt without seeing her, so I closed my eyes and imagined her soft smile. I imagined the way she would look at me with adoration in her eyes, and always let me know that this was something more to her. She felt it, but we didn't say anything for god knows what reason. I wish I would have.

_I want you to know, before I go, that I have felt something more than just lust for you since the morning I left you. Just three words that can make or break any relationship, and I'm even scared to write them in a letter. I guess it doesn't matter now, being as I've fucked up beyond repair and you chose him, so I'll say it. I love you, Bella Swan. You're my everything, and that's why I'm letting you go. You deserve better than me. _

But if Edward ever hurts you I'll murder him, I thought to myself. I scribbled down my goodbyes, let Scarface grab my bags, and I didn't look back as I walked out the front door and became the future Mrs. Jasper Whitlock once again. I posted the note to her fridge, so I knew she'd read the last word's ever exchanged between us, and I'd never get an answer back. I'd never know if she loved me too, and that was harder than locking the door behind me was.

_I'll always be yours, _

_Alice. _

**A/N: **

**Review it :D**

**-Dee**


	14. Remebering Sunday

**A/N: Guys, I'm sorry this is late. My life is being an asshole right now with work and relationships and all that fucked up shit. Thankfully, the things that I know will always be steady are Bellice and my beta Shabba, and I love both of them for it. :) **

**Here it is, a song inspired chapter at last! **

**Chapter Fourteen **

**Remembering Sunday**

**(Bpov) **

After crying myself to sleep in Edward's arms, I was finally making my way down the stairs of his house. He was making pancakes in the kitchen, and my stomach rumbled when the scent caught my nose. He always knew how to get me out of bed, and even though deep inside I really wished he was someone else, it was nice to see him smiling at me for the first time in too long. He was cute when he smiled: almost like it made him look younger, and that always reminded me of Forks. I was wrapped up in his arms before I could grab a plate, and he peppered my neck with soft, sweet kisses until I smirked back at him. It was easy, almost like breathing, when he was being so much like who he was before. "How did you sleep?" he asked as we flopped our breakfast down on some dishes.

We sat down at the island before I could answer. "Alright, much better after I stopped freaking out," I admitted sheepishly. He rubbed my back and shook his head while I started to apologize for crying on him for several hours.

"Don't be sorry, love, that's why I'm here. But I've never seen you like that," he frowned, "can I ask what happened to upset you so much?"

I froze, and my heart sputtered then stopped all together. It was like I was reliving the look on her face when I told her I was leaving her. "Uh," I swallowed the misery in my chest, "Alice. She told me she was thinking about going back to Jasper. I guess I got scared for her and sorta freaked out a little bit." I wasn't going to lie to him, but I wasn't going to tell him the entire truth, either. I doubted, with all of my heart, that Alice would ever be stupid enough to go back to that son of a bitch. He'd just hurt her more, and even thinking about her getting stuck in that situation again made me angry and worried. I was going to try to forget her, move on, but if Jasper even touched her I'd murder him.

"Oh well I'm sure she'll be fine, he's a nice guy when his temper doesn't get the better of him" he paused, shrugging as if she didn't matter to him at all, "but when do you want to go and get your stuff out of the apartment?" I tried to forget how easily he threw Alice away, and thought about what time she would definitely not be there.

"Today, around three. Can you ask Em and some of your friends to help out?" I only asked because the furniture in there was something I did want to keep. He nodded and went off to his phone, blabbing away to his brother about how I finally said yes. We'd need Emmett's truck to move it all, anyway.

While Edward went up to his room, still on the phone, I stole a cup of coffee and walked around the expensive house. The walls were a creamy white color that I ran my fingers down, only just noticing a few paintings, including some of my own, on them. The floors beneath my feet were a boring, cold brown color wood. The white kitchen flowed out into the huge, unused, dining room, and then straight into the living room I could tell was picked out for him. Edward liked comfortable and simple things, not ultra modern crap that meant nothing. It made me miss my random living room, and I was almost smiling that I got to make this large house a bit more Bella within the next few days. Like putting my lip couch somewhere in here. I didn't even bother to go to the guest room that was on this floor, but my eye was caught on the mantle above the fireplace. It wasn't the design of the thing, but what was on top of it that struck me.

There were framed pictures of us together, even some from New York, and a small box with a half opened lid on it. Curiosity always got the better of me, and I opened it, expecting to find a condom stash or the bloodied hand of some random ex girlfriend, but what was inside surprised me more than all of that. When Edward and I were younger, and I mean much younger, we used to write letters to each other. Not e-mails, hand written and stamped US Post letters. He had every single one stashed away in this little box, and it brought tears to my eyes. Didn't that asshole not care about me? Didn't he just want me so he could say we were married and keep me under his thumb forever? These letters said differently, and were too confusing for me to think about right now, so I shut the box and went out on the oversized balcony. It was cold, as I suspected it would be, so I wrapped my arms around myself and went to the ledge cautiously.

Edward might have been a sweet guy that I had mistaken for an asshole, but that didn't mean he was still what I needed in my life. He wasn't what I wanted anymore, or what I needed at all. I stopped needing Edward the moment I discovered myself, and when I found out he cheated on me. But now, I didn't know what to make of that. Was it really just a moment of weakness, or was it him not wanting me anymore? I didn't have much time to think, because a jacket was wrapped around my shoulders, and Edward's arms were around my waist. "What are you thinking about, my Bella?" He was whispering softly in my ear as I started to warm up.

"About everything, I guess. I'm thinking about my life, your life, our lives together. I want to know something, though," I paused and looked into his eyes over my shoulder, "when you cheated on me, and don't deny you did because I walked in on you fucking her in your bed, were you doing it because you needed me, or because you didn't need me anymore?" He was bright red while I asked him about the flaws in our relationship so casually it was scary, but when he saw I wasn't mad, he frowned a bit and took time to think about it.

"I did that because I thought you didn't love me anymore," he sighed while running one of his hands through his hair, "I was trying to forget you, and burying my sorrow's in some whore's pussy would never done that. I love you Bella, despite what you may think. I will never hurt you again, and I haven't slept with anyone else after that day." He had tears in his eyes and was very stubbornly blinking them away when I hugged him close to me.

I knew what I was saying wasn't true, but the Bella that loved Edward inside of me meant these words with all her heart. "I love you, too, and I forgive you." It didn't matter that the Bella inside of me was a stupid, hopeless romantic that loved Edward unconditionally; even she missed the warm circle of Alice's arms around her waist. Even she missed the way she'd smile at me when I'd say something sweet about her. That stupid girl missed the affair, and so did I, because it wasn't just an affair. We loved Alice, and trying to let her go was futile. We could both see that today, going to my apartment to take out all of the things from where I loved her for the first time, was going to be hell. Edward went back inside just as it started to rain, and I felt my heart tear open with dread and guilt.

I opened my mouth, and the only thing that came out was a whispered strangle of a melody that touched my heart and made me wish I was standing with her, holding her, kissing her, and loving her. But that was never going to happen.

I looked out at the city, dropping to my butt on the cold tile as I remembered her. "_I'm not coming back, I've done something so terrible. I'm terrified to speak, but you'd expect that from me. I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt now the rain is just washing you out of my hair..._"

**(Apov)**

"Alice, darling," Jasper scooped me up in his arms the second I got inside of the house and I couldn't help but cringe when he kissed my neck very gently, "I missed you. I'm so sorry for my behavior, honey; I was such a fool to ever hurt you." He cupped one of my cheeks in his warm hands and I almost blushed at how distraught he looked over me, until I remembered he was the reason I was back in the first place. He knew everything, and he was still acting lovey-dovey toward me. He set me back down on my feet and my eyes narrowed.

"Jasper, you know everything," I started, getting a nod from him, "and you're still in love with me? You do realize I was cheating on you?" I clarified, and he shrugged it off like it didn't mean anything. Why didn't it mean anything to him? Confusion was a mild term for what I was feeling when he grabbed my bags and wrapped me up in his arms.

We were on the couch, and I was perched on his lap, before he answered me. "I know, Alice. I saw everything, but to be honest with you it didn't bother me one bit. It was actually kind of sexy to think about you with your legs wrapped around some girl," he giggled and kissed my neck; I was entirely uncomfortable thinking about Bella like some whore, because she wasn't, "but I just want you here with me again. I was wrong to expect so much of you, and I don't want you to do anything but be my Alice from now on, okay?" He asked, kissing my cheek while I stared down at him in wonder.

"Uh, okay," I agreed, only to be slid off his lap very carefully.

Jasper kissed my forehead when I looked up at him, sure that my face still held the same perplexed expression as he spoke. "I'll be at work a little bit late tonight, a big investor is coming by and they need me there for it. Could you order some take-out around nine, darling? I should be home at nine-thirty or ten." He seemed to be assuring and kind, which was not the man I remembered living with at all. When I nodded, he kissed my lips and walked out the door without another word. Scarface was gone, and had been for the entire conversation between us, but it didn't really matter that he wasn't here. I still felt trapped in this house, even if Jasper wasn't being an asshole at the moment. He'd done this before; acted all nice and lovey, then went back to beating me the second he got angry.

I didn't understand, or want to understand, what the fuck kind of bug crawled out of his ass, but I'd roll with it for as long as it lasted. Looking around the big empty house made my stomach lurch, and before I knew what was happening I was running for the sink to spill my guts wretchedly. It was the nerves of that car ride, the anxiety of seeing him again, and the knowledge of being trapped in this hell hole that was making me nauseous. I wiped my mouth clean and clutched my stomach uneasily. This entire situation was so fucked up, and only made me miss Bella even more. I could see her laughing and calling Jasper a bi-polar cocksucker before she wrapped me up in her arms and kissed away all of my worry.

Things with Bella would be easy for me. They'd be like accepting the warmth of the sun instead of injecting myself with the heroin that was Jasper. I didn't want to rely on him or anyone else, but I didn't have a choice. I wouldn't hurt her. I went outside and saw that the gray clouds above my head had opened and rain was falling. I let the rain wash over my face. I stood on the balcony of his bedroom and ran my hands through my hair as I fell to my backside on the cool cement. I thought about her. I thought about everything we had and everything that would never be, and I was dead on the inside. I didn't know where it came from, or why I only remembered the ending, but I sang to her wherever she was, with tears in my voice that ran down my cheeks. I'd have to get over the pain inside if I wanted her to be happy.

I loved her enough to let her go, now. I could let her go now, right?

My voice was low and quiet as I sobbed out the lines that bubbled inside of me and reminded me so much of her smile, even if I was letting go. "_And out of my mind. Keeping and eye on the world, from so many thousands of feet off the ground. I'm over you now, I'm at home in the clouds, and towering over your head..." _

**A/N: **

**Thank Shabba for the inspiration by telling me it was raining where he lives. :) **

**And the song, if it wasn't obvious, is Remembering Sunday by All Time Low.**

**Review it n_n **

**-Dee**


	15. Keep Moving On

**A/N:**

**PandaDee**: For all of the lovely fans out there, I am sorry this is late again, but WE have a special chapter for you. And when I say **we** I mean **Panda** and **Shabba**, because we've written this one together. :D

**Shabba**: That we have, so listen up children, this story just got ridiculous! Mwuhahaha

**PandaDee**: Hell yes it did Shabbababy :) I hope they like it :O

**Shabba**: Well of Course they'll like it! Cuz if they don't uncle Shabba will be paying them a little visit.

**PandaDee**: Lol and Uncle Shabba is a lot closer to you Americans than Dee is. :) Let's get this shit started. Enjoy it :)

**Shabba**: And here we GO!

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Keep Moving On**

**(Bpov)**

It had been an entire two weeks since I had been back to the apartment and I was itching to walk through the heavy door again.

Emmett was too busy with Rosalie to even think about helping Edward and I move our furniture, so I just went over on some day when I knew Alice wouldn't be there for my clothes and Toby. I couldn't stand to even be in the place where Alice and I shared so much anymore because as much as I denied the feelings inside of me I knew I felt something for her. Now that she was away, it hurt to be close to anything I knew was hers.

"Hey baby," Edward sighed as he came downstairs in scrubs, "order something just for you tonight, I'm working clinic hours because the doctor is going on vacation next week and this is the only time he can give me the hands on experience I need." He explained uselessly and quite annoyingly, for I already knew that he was going to be gone tonight. He told me last weekend that he worked at the clinic on Wednesdays and Thursdays, so I expected it already.

"Mhm," I nodded, "I'll order something. Have a good time." He kissed my lips chastely, grabbed his keys, and walked out the door, locking it behind him. I sighed when Toby came over and jumped in my lap, wanting attention as always. I could see in his eyes that he missed her too because he'd look around for her dancing little form all the time now.

My mind started to wander to her long legs, wrapped up in the white sheets on my bed, and tears sprung to my eyes. "No," I whispered to myself, "I can't think about her anymore."

I stood up, grabbing a wine glass as I had done so many nights in the past two weeks, and poured myself some of my favorite white wine. I sipped away at it while I looked out to the city from the balcony, happy for a cold, clear night so I could see the stars and in turn see her face in them. I missed her. I missed everything about her. From the way she threw her clothes everywhere like me to the way she obsessively cleaned when she was worried about something.

Her clear blue eyes were forever etched in my memory, along with her heavenly body that I continued to paint in my spare time. It was more of a tribute to her than anything, because I knew I'd never see her again. I had an art show tomorrow anyway, and with my nude collection growing I saw my paintings had become darker than ever before. I drew many dead landscapes because the light she had given me had faded from my mind. I drew her, always facing away from me because that was how I left her. Even the director at the gallery said my work had become exceptional, though depressing and darker than before. He didn't care, he liked that my misery was making him money. Fucking prick.

And that was when I realized that all of this was entirely my fault. It was my fault that I chose Edward that night instead of Alice. It was my fault that she felt so bad on the inside that she had to go get drunk and forget me between another girl's legs. Her pain was caused by my actions and now my misery, even if it was just, was my own damn fault. I wanted to tell her that. Tell her I regretted ever hurting her and making her doubt my affection for her as a friend and even as more than that. I wanted to tell her I loved her, because it was undeniably true.

But even if I did, she would never believe me, and how was I to know if she even shared those feelings?

My phone rang shrilly in my pocket, taking me away from the depressing world in my mind, and I saw my glass was empty even though I hadn't remembered drinking it. "Yeah?" I rasped into the receiver.

"Bells, I need you to come over as soon as possible!" Rose fretted and I could hear pages being ripped and torn in the background, signaling that she was having a Bridezilla moment.

Well, seeing as how I had nothing else productive to do, I couldn't really say no. "Alright I'll be there." I hung up and grabbed some jeans along with my house keys before I walked out the front door. At least Rose's angry bridal drama would take my mind off of Alice, if that was even possible.

The walk there proved to be about as distracting as a mime in a strip club. I couldn't stop thinking about her, beating myself over the head with guilt over and over and over again until I could feel tears pricking in my eyes. Again. I wiped them away stubbornly and tried to center myself before knocking on Rose's door. She didn't need to see me crying like it was a new fashion statement.

"Oh good," she pulled me inside by my jacket, "now, tell me which is better because we can't come to an agreement." She gestured toward the other two women in the room, and I immediately recognized them as Esme, her mother, and Jessica, a rotten girl from High School in Forks that seemed to follow us everywhere we went. I knew she was only here because Rose wasn't a bitch like I was and couldn't deny one of her 'friends' a cup of coffee when they ran into each other. I pointed toward the silky white lace and she nodded, obviously happy with my decision.

"Want something to drink, Bella dear?" Her mother asked, getting up when I nodded shyly. She could see the red rims around my eyes, and she took it as a sign that I needed a moment alone with Rose.

I glared at Jessica. "Are you quite finished being a mooching bitch?" Rose smiled and covered it with her fabric book, but Jessica just rolled her eyes, shoving past me. I was glad to see her leave, because I was sure I couldn't stand a night with Rosalie and her mother, and on top of that some snooty girl that thought she was better than everyone else because her daddy had money.

When she left, I plopped down on the couch and wiped away the few stray tears on my cheeks. Rose sighed and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "Still thinking about how badly you fucked up when you lost her?"

I nodded, words couldn't express how right she was. I'd royally fucked the pooch when I walked away with Edward that night, and even more so the next morning when I told her I was moving in with him. "I can't stop fucking thinking about her. She's everything thing I see, Rosie, and I just don't know how to make it stop." I whimpered as she shushed me and wiped away my tears.

"You do know how to make it stop," she sighed, confusing me even more, "you need to go tell her you are sorry and that you regret it. Leave Edward and go to Alice!" She tried to convince me and I snorted very loudly.

The situation she proposed would cause him so much pain I was afraid he'd never get over it, and I couldn't do that to him. He was my best friend, and I cherished him as that. "Yeah because I can just leave Edward and break his heart like that? Don't be stupid Rose, he'd be devastated if I-"

"Bella you've already done that," she laughed as if I was being stupid and she took my gaping response to roll her eyes, "to Alice."

My insides went cold as her mother came back in and her steely brown eyes left mine to go back to picking out fabrics and table cloths. My heart had turned to ice and the blood in my veins was freezing as I thought over her words. I had hurt Alice, in the same way I hadn't wanted to hurt Edward. How could I be so blind to my own actions?

I curled up with the mug of coffee given to me by Mrs. Hale and stared at the pale moon outside of the windows. My mouth was hanging open as I thought of her, lost and crying because I'd broken her heart in two. I hoped she was better off than I was, wherever she might have been. I wiped away the tears, continuing to think about the love I almost had while I planned to stay with Rosalie for the rest night.

(Apov)

"Fucking bitch! Get your ass back here," I screamed drunkenly, throwing a bottle of whiskey as the whore tried to hit me again. She was a blonde slut in a dress that was too tight for her body, and after pissing me off she deserved getting hit in the head with a glass bottle of Jack.

"Whoa, whoa," Emmett shouted pulling me off her slumped body, "Alice! Calm the fuck down!" He pulled me away from the bloody girl, and I began crying immediately.

I'd spent two weeks without her. Two weeks of wallowing in my own self-pity and hatred. Not a moment passed when I wasn't reminded of how beautiful she looked sleeping in my arms. Not a day passed where I didn't hear her laugh in my mind, torturing me with the bell like music that used to bring sunshine into my life. No one understood, especially not Jasper even if he cared to. So I went out and drank almost every night to forget about her. I'd been with countless slutty women who had never been with a girl before, and each morning I woke up and got the fuck out of their apartments without even saying goodbye.

I needed her like the fucking sun needed the moon and I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore unless I was drunk, so here I was, bar fighting with a girl who saw me looking at a Facebook picture of Bella. She called me a dike freak of course, and that only brought on an eye roll, but when she insulted Bella by calling her ugly, I snapped. It was just lucky Emmett was there to stop me before I broke her neck.

Emmett was exasperated as he threw me down in a private booth and watched me start sobbing. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" He demanded, for I had just started a fight in his bar.

I shrugged, "oh I don't know Emmett, maybe the fact that I'm living a lie with the only man I can say I truly hate?" I was blathering drunkenly, so much so that I doubted he understood what the hell I was saying to him.

He picked me up in his arms after that, shushing me as we went out the back. "Where should I take you, Alice?" he wondered, looking in the direction of Jasper's house and then the direction of Bella's apartment, only a few blocks from here. It was the very apartment that still smelled like her, the apartment she assured me I could stay in when I wanted to.

"Bella's old place," I droned, pointing toward the brick building two blocks down, "I miss Bella…" I trailed off as he started hauling me toward it. He said something I didn't understand, but it sounded like he asked me for a key, and when I opened my eyes I was laying on her bed, Emmett nowhere in sight.

I could smell her perfume on the pillows around me, I could see her clothes strewn all over the apartment still. She had only come here to get her cat and some of the things she needed. That meant she probably hadn't seen my letter, which was a relief. I thought she wasn't coming to me because she didn't feel the same way. I looked at the fridge, and saw it still in the envelope under a Tinker Bell magnet. But she hadn't been back, because there was a thin layer of dust over the TV and her things. That could only mean it hurt her just as much as it hurt me to even think about the magic we had in this home. _Our_ home.

I curled around one of her pillows, happily taking in the scent of her strawberry and freesia perfume as I started to pass out in my favorite place in the whole world.

Unfortunately, morning came and so did a hangover. I didn't remember where I was until I opened my eyes and saw the sun shining through the wall of windows to the left. Terror coursed through my veins as last night rushed back to me, and I clutched my stomach while it turned. I was in Bella's old house, sleeping in her sheets, and finally puking in her toilet. I spilled my guts, praying to the porcelain gods to take away the horrible nausea, and after ten minutes, I finally found relief.

Emmett brought me home, well not home but here to the house that I didn't want to ever be in again, and I was morbidly glad he did now. I'd only been gone for two weeks, and there were bills on the kitchen counter that Emmett must have moved from under the door last night. At least the water was still working so I could brew a pot of coffee before I got the hell out of here. If Jasper knew I was here he'd murder me and tell Edward: that was something I didn't want to happen.

I contemplated taking the note I wrote down. I looked at it while I sipped on a cup of piping hot coffee, and finally decided it didn't matter if she saw it because she'd never reciprocate those feelings. I'd be happier having her know that I was in love with her than keeping it a secret for the rest of my life. I sighed and stole one of her shirts for my own sick pleasure of needing her close to me at all times, and set my cup in the sink after rinsing it out.

My phone buzzed, sending me back into the world where Bella wasn't the love of my life, and I answered it rather groggily. "What?"

"Alice, I need you to come over," Rosalie sighed, "I had someone else here but she left before I could wake up. I need your expert advice on my dress."

Excitement bubbled in the pit of my stomach. I finally had a release from my thoughts of her, and that was just what I needed right now. Bella was close enough to my size for me to take some of her clothes so Rose wouldn't know about my shameful drinking. "Of course I'll help, Rosie. I'll be there in fifteen."

She hung up without another word and I changed, grateful that at least Bella wore the same sized jeans I did. As I walked out I took another look around, locked the door before I left, and set my key in the bowl. I was leaving our heaven for the last time, and that brought the very familiar tears to my eyes. I took in her scent one last time and slammed the heavy wooden door behind me.

**A/N:**

**PandaDee: So we have our first double author chapter. It makes me happy, already. Thanks Shabba. :D**

**Shabba: No problem Panda, it was fun! :D**

**-Review it n_n**

**-The Panda girl and the Shabba boy.**


	16. Selfish Girl

**A/N: Psh, I bet you're surprised to see an update from me so soon :) Here is a TURNING POINT chapter for Bella, since it has already happened to Alice. There are some lemons (at last) in it because I missed the sexiness of this story.**

**Thank Shabba for editing it, as always :)**

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Selfish Girl**

**(Apov)**

Before I got to Rosalie's, I stopped for a coffee at my favorite place. This place happened to be the same café where Bella and I told that stupid lady off. I smiled as I remembered the day with great clarity, even after we left the shop and practically ran to the apartment. I ordered my mocha, sat back against one of the massive walls of glass opposite the counter, and thought back to that very afternoon. Bella and I had ravaged each other in her big, comfy bed. I licked my lips as the memory flashed across my mind.

_That black look in her eyes could only mean one thing and that one thing was exactly how I was feeling. I locked the front door behind me, shoving her against it with a growl from deep within my chest. She was everywhere all at once, panting my name as I bit down on the fabric covering her breasts. "Alice," she whimpered, gripping my hair as she felt my hands race across the front of her cotton shorts. She was already dripping wet for me. _

_My panties were already soaked through, and it didn't help at all when she wrapped those long legs around my waist and kissed me hard, sliding her tongue against mine. I carried her to the bed, throwing her down as she got my shirt over my head. I gasped when her long nails racked across my nipples and she brought them into her mouth, teasing me with the metal on her tongue. "Bella, fuck, I need more," I begged, grabbing at the fabric around her legs._

_She nodded, taking my underwear off my body in one swift motion as I lowered her shorts and toyed with her wet clit. She gasped when my lips kissed down her naked torso, licking the sweet skin I found there as I went down. My tongue ran across her navel, dipping down until I could taste the sweet moisture pooling across her folds. I groaned at the taste, but my eyes opened wide to see her staring back at me with a hungry look in hers. I nearly came undone when she brought me up to her lips again and ran her hands across my hips._

"_Alice," she whispered as she ran her hands between us, her little hips still grinding into mine as she touched my pussy, "there's something I'd like to try."_

"White chocolate mocha for…Alice?" An attractive man at the counter jarred me from my thoughts and I realized I was gaping at the wall, nearly drooling. I looked like a damned fool, so I shook my head and stood, going to grab my drink.

He smirked at me and I felt a piece of paper around the cup, probably with his number on it. I chuckled, handed it back to him, and grinned at his confused expression. "I play for the other team, honey. Sorry."

The man with the black hair looked dejected, but I walked away without another word, thinking back to that amazing night as I came out into the cool morning air. That had to be the best night of my life, and it ended even more pleasantly than just with sex. I realized I was smiling as I held the coffee cup close to my face, but I just didn't give a damn about the rest of the world as I thought of the blush across her cheeks.

_She had asked me to do something with her, and while I didn't object, I was very surprised that innocent little Bella wanted to wrap her legs around my head while we pleased each other at the same time. "Honey," I whispered, sensing her nervousness, "come on, there's no need to be embarrassed." She bit her lip and shook her head, assuring me it wasn't that._

"_I," she smiled and let out a little burst of a giggle, "I wanna be on top." And how the fuck could I say no as she started putting her legs around my neck, bringing me closer to the thing I'd come to adore these past few months. She kissed my belly button, making her way down my body as I gripped her hips and moved her closer to my mouth, successfully getting my tongue across her clit. She shivered from the contact, and I smirked, knowing this is exactly what my Bella needed._

_I'd never been more turned on in my life than the moment she moaned against my pussy when I pushed my fingers up inside of her, hitting her spot with every curl of them. I could feel the vibrations of her moans against my skin and it sent shivers down my spine, and even more lust down to my loins. I couldn't get enough of her hot breath across my thighs. I wanted to see her muscles tense and hear her breathy moans get louder and louder as I pleased her._

_I could feel myself already passing the brink when her little fingers went inside of me and her tongue lolled around my clit lazily, spreading the warmth from inside of me up further. She was gasping as my tongue became frantic, keeping perfect pace with my quickening, wet fingers inside of her. I wanted to watch her release; I wanted to taste it on my tongue as she moaned my name. Bella's muscles began clenching around my fingers, her moans became loud screams of pleasure that would wake the neighbors, and my eyes shut tight as the tight ball inside of me came undone and my back arched under her touch._

_She whimpered my name, I screamed hers as my orgasm took over every coherent thought I had. She kissed the heated skin between my legs, and I did the same before she moved her legs away from my neck, telling her silently that I loved everything she had just done for me. "Bella," I sighed, holding my arms out wide, "you are the most amazing woman I have ever been with."_

_As always, she blushed, but didn't come to my arms. She straddled my hips, biting her lip a little as her hands ran down my stomach to the spot her hot cunt rested on. She bent down, licking and kissing the skin just below my ear. "Please don't tell me you thought that was all I meant when I said I wanted to try something?"_

"Whoa," a man narrowly missed hitting me over the head with a couch, "damn girl you need to watch where you're going. You almost lost your head," he shouted to me as I continued on down the sidewalk, unaware of anything but the way Bella smiled at me that night when my mouth dropped open and I tackled her.

It was so hard to go back to those memories, because they were a different me that I didn't even know anymore. That Alice had gone with her strawberry scented skin and she didn't have any hopes of ever coming back unless Bella did. I sighed, opening the wide doors of Rosalie's building before I knocked on the only door inside.

"Finally," she sighed, annoyance thick in her voice, "get in here."

I did as I was told, because arguing with an angry Rose was just pointless, and found myself face to face with someone I never thought I'd see again. Just as both of our mouths dropped open, Rose locked the front door and took the key in her hands. There was no way out, now. Before me stood the most beautiful woman in the world, and I hadn't realized how much I missed her face before now.

"Alice," she seemed to whisper my name, and I held my hand up to her cheek, wiping a tear away as it came from her brown eyes. I could have cared less that Rosalie had set us up to meet after all this time. I could have cared less that Jasper might show Edward the sex tape. All that mattered was that I was alive again, and by the way she leaned into my touch, so was she.

"Bella."

**(Bpov)**

"Rose, we're nearly out of coffee," I complained as I scratched my leg mindlessly and looked at the pot, "should I make more?"

She nodded, waving me off as she talked to someone on her phone and rushed away from me. I rolled my eyes, starting a new pot for me because I knew when Esme woke up she'd want in on some of the Breakfast Blend action. My life was so pathetic now. All I cared about was coffee brands and painting miserably. I hadn't even had sex in a week and I was itching for the days when Alice and I were making love by the hour, not by the day.

"We didn't make love," I fought stubbornly.

_Yes we did, and we love her and we miss her!_ My thoughts shouted back at me.

"It's too fucking early for his bullshit," I complained, leaning over on the counter with my head in my arms. I was so stupid to think I could just deny my feelings for her all the time. I was so stupid to let her go, and Rose was right. I broke her heart because obviously it stopped being just sex a long time ago.

I wanted to know what she was doing. I wanted to see her smiling with me while I curled up to her on my couch in the morning. "Bella," Rose brought me out of my thoughts, "a friend of mine is coming over so if the door opens don't be surprised." She sat down at the kitchen table lazily, looking bored as she read through a bridal magazine.

Esme still wasn't up by the time a knock came to the door, and just as I stood to answer it, Rose shoved past me and let whoever it was inside. My nose could smell apples and patchouli, and my heart started pumping faster because I knew just where that perfume came from. My head whipped around and I saw her thick head of black hair right behind Rosalie. Our eyes met after they roamed each other's bodies, and I almost laughed because she was wearing my jeans from the apartment. I whispered out her name while my legs, without my permission, moved forward. It was like my body needed to be closer to hers, like it needed that physical connection right now more than ever, but I only let it go as far as her hand on my cheek. I felt the shock that had always been there when she touched me in return and I knew I had to be blushing while Rosalie sat back, biting her lip to hold in the huge smile.

"Alice," I sighed again, "w-what are you doing here?" The nervousness inside of me was spilling out, even though her teary blue eyes were full of regret as well.

She coughed, clearing her throat as she dropped her hand from my cheek. "I'm here to see what Rose needs from me," she paused as we both glared at Rosalie and the blonde cringed away from the murderous stares, "what are _you_ doing here? Not that I'm not glad to see you."

"I'm here for the same thing. She called me over last night," I could really care less that Rose had set us up, and I'd have to thank her for it later, but now I really needed to know if she was okay; "h-how have you been?" I stammered, still looking into those mesmerizing pools of blue that looked so sad it nearly broke my heart.

She shrugged, "fine. I moved back in with Jasper the day-"

"What?" I shouted, unable to control the volume of my voice. She hadn't been living in my apartment this whole time, safely out of that son of a bitch's reach? What the fuck was she thinking? Did she want to die? Was that what this was all about?

She frowned, "why the fuck do you care what I do with my life? You've got Edward, I've got Jasper."

That stung, but I just shook my head, taking her wrist in my hand before she could go to the front door and leave me here without something more than bitter words. "Alice, that bastard hits you all the time! Why the fuck would you go back to him? Are you stupid?" I didn't care that I was still shouting at her, I was steaming mad at her for this. She was endangering her life just because I made a stupid mistake that I'd regret for my entire life.

This wasn't how I wanted our reunion to happen. I wanted to be going back to her to say I fucked up and I wanted another chance, not yell at her for going back to the man that hit her before we met. She glared at me, yanking her arm free of my hold. "I'm not stupid. I love Jasper," I saw the lie in her eyes, "he's good for me."

I laughed, only angering her further, but the words sounded like vinegar coming out of her mouth. She was gritting her teeth as I responded to that. "Bullshit he is-"

"Oh just fuck off Bella! You had your chance to make me your everything and you broke my heart when you chose him that night," she was choking out her words as tears ran down her cheeks, and I felt horrible for everything I had ever done to her. She just told me her heart was broken, and I was standing here speechless because I was selfish enough to believe I was the only one I hurt when I left that night.

"Alice," I wiped the hot water off her cheeks, "I am so sorry-"

"Just stop," she cut in, moving away from me, "if you value my sanity or have any feelings for me other that lust, you'll stop talking now."

"Baby-"

She turned around and I felt the palm of her hand connect with my cheek, creating a deafening slap that stung even after she turned away from me. "I'm not your baby," she replied, shaking my hand off her shoulder as she moved closer to the door, "I'm leaving, I can't even be around people right now. Just…leave me alone, Bella."

My hand rose to my cheek after Alice had already walked out the front door, thanking Rose for ruining her morning on her way out. I didn't realize that I was frozen in place as the world started shaking all around me. I wondered where those strangled cries were coming from, and why everything was spinning, until Rosalie held me and told me everything was going to be okay. _I_ was shaking. _I_ was making the sobbing noises.

"How the fuck is everything going to be okay when she's just going back to Jasper right now? Rose, do you realize that he could fucking kill her? I can stand being without her but thinking about her dead," I shivered involuntarily, "I've got to go."

She let me go to the coat rack and grab my jacket, but she stopped me when I got to my shoes. "Where the fuck are you headed?"

I stood up, pulling my boots on tighter. "I have to fix this," I panted, for the rush of adrenaline inside of me hadn't ended since I saw her face, "I love her too much to lose her because I'm a jackass."

Rose's mouth dropped open at my confession, but the raging Bella inside of me jumped for joy at the moment. I wasn't just admitting it to myself, and this was the first time I'd ever said it out loud to anyone, but I would go through the rest of my life saying I loved her. I ran out the door, hopeful to catch her somehow. She wasn't on the cold sidewalk, but I knew she only had a few places to go. She wasn't on foot, so that meant she was going back to Jasper, and I had to rush to get there before that happened. But something inside of me, something deeper than my subconscious told me I needed to be back at my apartment.

There was something pulling me in that direction, and with a grumble I headed toward the place I used to call home quickly. I was jogging up the stairs of the brick building, fumbling with my keys as I got to the third floor, and when I turned the key in the lock I hoped to see her, but she was nowhere to be found. Disappointment hit me just as her scent did, and that told me she really had been here last night.

The thick layer of dust was disturbed on the kitchen counter and the Refrigerator, but what caught my eye was a thick white envelope with my name written out in her beautiful scrawl. I took the magnet off of it and opened it eagerly, hoping to see something that showed me how she felt so I didn't storm into her apartment like an asshole declaring my love if she really meant that Jasper was what was good for her.

I read it through, sadly hoping my heart wouldn't fall off by the time it ended, and became a statue at the last paragraph there was.

_I want you to know, before I go, that I have felt something more than just lust for you since the morning I left you. Just three words that can make or break any relationship, and I'm even scared to write them in a letter. I guess it doesn't matter now, being as I've fucked up beyond repair and you chose him, so I'll say it. I love you, Bella Swan. You're my everything, and that's why I'm letting you go. You deserve better than me._

_I'll always be yours,_

_Alice_

"I knew it!" I cheered, startling myself at the volume of my own voice. All of the pity and shame washed away with her words of love and I knew that this could work, even if she was beyond pissed off at me because I hurt her. She loved me; I loved her, and that was all that mattered. I'd spend the rest of my life making it up to her if that's what it took. I swore I'd save her and make her mine if it was the last thing I ever did.

I kissed the note, smiling as I grabbed my keys and folded it into my pocket. I whispered the words, for only I needed to hear them as I made my way to Jasper's brownstone. "I love you, too Ally. I always have and I promise I'll never stop."

**A/N:**

**AW! :D Don't you just love happy things?**

**Review it! n_n**

**-Dee**


	17. Best Friends Never Die

**A/N: Shit guys! It's been almost a month since I've updated this, and for that I am so very sorry. I've been busy, and on the 9th my husband had surgery so he's home for the next two weeks and I'm taking care of him.**

**I WILL be updating once or twice a week from now on, I hope, but take into consideration I am taking care of someone for the next two weeks :)**

**I know I don't say this much, but my readers make it all worth it. You guys are the reason I do this, the reason I continue writing, and I love you all.**

**And I love my Shabba for editing this.**

**Thanks, I hope you understand. -PandaDee**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seventeen<strong>

**Best Friends Never Die**

**(Bpov)**

It seemed my legs couldn't carry me fast enough, and that was beginning to piss my brain off. I bolted out of the apartment we shared, the love letter in my hands, and hailed a cab as quickly as I possibly could without harming myself or anyone else with my clumsiness. "East 71st," I shouted immediately prior to slamming the door shut in my haste, "and I don't have all fucking day."

The fat, pale man with the long beard nodded, let off the brakes and we shot forward, weaving through the thinning traffic until he stopped right at the mouth of her neighborhood. I knew my way from here and couldn't take the anticipation of taking street ways for another ten minutes when I could cut through the alleys and run to her doorstep. I didn't have much to go on after that, but I hoped she would let me beg for forgiveness until the end of time if she didn't believe in my love for her. I really hoped it didn't come to that. It would kill me to hear she no longer felt the same way I did; it would kill me to hear her lovely voice say I was too late.

"Thanks!" I shouted, throwing a ten at him through the small window before I got out. I ignored the nip of the November weather on my exposed arms and let my legs carry me to their limit as I dashed through the back streets.

I had to get to her, the sooner the better, because my heart was still exploding with the joy her love brought me. One more street and I would be standing before her stony prison, ready to take her in my arms and away from all the madness around us. As I reached the end of the alley, a man with a large scar and a sinister smirk approached me. He wore a long trench coat and made my skin crawl with the way his eyes roamed my body. I crossed my arms over my chest and pulled Alice's sweatshirt closer to my body.

"Can I help you?" My voice was cold and distant; I wanted to keep him as far away as I could. My gut didn't trust him at all, and the fear of rape or worse spiked in my chest as he grinned at me.

"If you're here to see Miss Alice," he reached in his coat to fetch something from one of the interior pockets, "I'm gonna have to ask you to reconsider." He handed me a DVD inside of a sleeve, and when I looked at it all it had was big black letters, scribbled in Sharpie, that said Alice & Bella.

I tapped the disc with my finger, looked up at the man and raised an eyebrow. "And this is supposed to mean something to me?" My voice was purposefully condescending, but my stomach was tied in knots as I thought of all the things that could be on this disc. His smirk didn't help the bubbling unease, either.

"Oh yes," he walked around me, looking me over, "it should. It's a disc that I've put together of _all_the fun times you and that little whore had." Horrified, I broke it immediately, and he only laughed at the terror that had to be plain on my face. To my surprise, he grabbed a phone out of his pocket and showed me what I knew would have been on that disc.

I saw, from a distance, my apartment window with the blinds open as Alice and I held each other completely naked. I shut my eyes tight, feeling tears prickle my eyes as I watched all of the love we shared back then. You could see it in the way she held my hand; the way her little head was nuzzled right up against my neck as she dreamed silently. I could feel all of that love rush over me and tickle my skin, even as I let a few tears fall from my eyes. A smile graced my lips for the first time since we'd been apart.

It stayed there until the man chuckled and I opened my eyes slowly to see his sinister smirk still in place. Dread filled me. With this information he had something on me, even on Alice. "Where, or better,_how_ did you get this?" I whispered, glaring at him as sadness seized my heart. This would mean Jasper or Edward would find out, all because this guy was an asshole.

He shrugged then, rolling his eyes. "I've been watching you." My stomach dropped at the answer that I really should have expected.

"Who hired you?" That was the big question. Did Edward know? Was he in on my relationship with Alice the entire time? Could he really just sit by and watch me ravage another girl, knowing that I was supposed to be with him? I didn't think so, but if Jasper knew, Alice would already be dead. I swallowed the moisture in my mouth, feeling dizzy as the man stared into my eyes.

"No one's hired me," he chuckled darkly as I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding, "I'm merely a concerned citizen who can't stand _fags_ ruining a perfectly good _straight_ relationship."

My eyes widened and I gasped, unable to believe that this man on his own will decided to interfere in my life. He seemed so damn familiar, even if I couldn't place him, and I ground my teeth together as I glared murderously at him. He had a problem with lesbians, and that meant he had a problem with me because I was undoubtedly in love with a woman now. My chin rose and I shoved the broken disk into his hands. "Keep your fucking porn video," he began to protest and I cut him off roughly, "your ignorance doesn't scare me. So fuck off with your videos, go tell someone. See if I give a fuck, 'cause I assure you nothing is going to take her away from me."

Shoving past his gaping form, I opened the small gate. He was thunderously clicking away on his phone, disappointment and confusion written all over his face, but I didn't care. I was proud of loving her, and I'd shout it out on the rooftops: even if she didn't want me the same way anymore. My hands, shaking, knocked steadily on the door while my heart began thudding in my ears.

The lights came on and my stomach lurched, but when she opened the door and her beautiful scent hit my nose the anxiousness went away. I was with her, even if I was standing outside in the cloudy morning air, and that was all that I needed: until I saw the grimace on her face. She was still unbelievably angry at me, even though I couldn't have been happier to see her face.

"Alice," I shoved my foot into the doorway before she could slam it, "please, just let me explain. Please."

Her nostrils flared, but she saw something in my eyes, desperation I thought, that made her icy expression thaw. "Fine, you've got five fucking minutes, and if I'm not happy before then I'm throwing you out, Isabella." She rolled her eyes at my huge grin, but only because she didn't know how I felt yet. I knew, well I_hoped_, that after she found out that I loved her, she'd feel the same. _Please just let her feel the same_, my thoughts screamed as she sat down on a bar stool, a wine glass in her hands.

I frowned. I'd never seen Alice shaking like this before, and the deep purple circles under her eyes only showed me that after going to Rose's house she'd taken off her always perfect makeup. But I didn't understand. This wasn't the Alice I knew. This wasn't the pale beauty that only used cover-up to cover her T zone, whatever that was, and hardly ever drank at home, alone, on a Tuesday morning. "Ally," I took the wine from her hand and poured it down the drain, "what's wrong with you?"

"This isn't about me," she snapped, "you came here to explain something, not talk to me about how shitty I look. You've got three minutes." She tapped her cell phone, which she'd put on a timer. I sighed and went to sit beside her on a stool.

She glared until I reached into her sweatshirt that I was wearing, and pulled out the white envelope that she'd written out to me so many weeks ago. "I found it on the fridge, not even an hour ago."

I was met by silence. She didn't look at me, only down at the grainy wooden floors with a furious look in her eyes. I kneeled before her so I could look into those beautiful eyes and kissed the bare skin of her thigh as softly as I could. "Alice, I-"

The Imperial Death March sounded loudly, signaling that my time confessing my love was up before it had even began_._I groaned, turned my phone on vibrate and looked back at her, completely missing the call from Edward that I really didn't care about. He was always calling at the wrong time, and right now, as I confessed my love to her and thought about what the fuck I'd say to him, I didn't need my phone screaming at me.

Her indignant expression had returned and she looked away from my face as the phone began vibrating constantly in my pocket. I continued to ignore it, but she stood up and wrapped her arms around her body, sobbing noiselessly as she looked outside. The pain inside of my heart, created by Edward's horrid timing, drove me to wrap my own arms around her and pull her close to my chest. She turned in them, but only to push me away.

"It doesn't fucking matter anymore." She walked back to the kitchen and began ranting as I watched in shocked desperation. "It's not like you would ever understand what I mean. You've been with Edward for nearly a month now and haven't called me one time, so how the fuck could you care about me? You finally go back to the apartment, only after you see me, and all this time didn't even know I'd been living here. You didn't give a shit about me when you left for Edward and you don't give a shit now. So just take that _fucking_ phone call from your fiancé and leave me-"

"I love you, Alice," I cut in, smiling at her furious expression. She fell to the seat behind her, her mouth hanging open as she gaped at me. I'd expected denial, but never shock.

After smiling to myself for a few moments, relishing in the warmth I felt at my confession, I stood before her, kissed her cheeks, and I wrapped my arms around her. "I've always loved you and it was never just sex to me. Even if you don't feel the same way anymore, I do and I really don't think I can live without you in my life anymore. If I'd have known that you loved me too, I would have never left you."

"Bella," she swallowed back a few tears, but more poured from her blue eyes, and before she could finish her sentence my phone buzzed loudly once again. Irritation took over, and I clicked the green button, glaring at the wall as her head tilted to the side. She didn't look mad, hell she even looked comforted as she took my hand and kissed the top of it.

"Hello?" My voice showed my ire at whoever was calling me, but when I heard his name my eyes widened.

"Hello, is this Isabella Swan?" The formality of his words couldn't have been a good thing. He sounded like a doctor, and that frightened me.

I nodded numbly, "yes," I coughed, "what's happened?" _Please say nothing. Please tell me Edward got that stupid internship at the hospital and mine was the only number he gave._Sadly I'd never be that lucky and as he spoke I felt pain twist through my chest, creating a hole there that already ached nervously.

He sighed, and I could just imagine the formal man wiping his forehead nervously. "Edward Masen was in a car accident today," I gasped and felt everything start to shake and twirl around me, but that wasn't the worst of it, "he's in surgery right now. You're listed as his next of kin, and we'd really like you to come down." That was never good. I was taken back to the first night of Edward saw someone die on his supervisor's watch. He clutched me, crying softly, and his words came back to me. _"When they called his wife he told he to come to the hospital. Whenever they say we'd really like you to come in, it's never a good sign."_

I wet my lips, shaking unconsciously as he spoke even more words of woe. Now, as I thought of it, I was supposed to be in that car with him on our way to his parent's stupid get together. I couldn't think about that right now, because I knew I'd be in the same state he was. I had to think about him: what was best for him right now as I rushed out of the apartment with Alice hot on my trail. "Is," I coughed away the tears and numbing dread, "is he going to be okay?"

The man sighed, and I could hear him shut a door to block out the noise. "I am afraid it doesn't look good. You should come down here immediately, Miss Swan and inform his family." I nodded to myself and looked at Alice, hopeful that the worry in my eyes wasn't too prominent. I hung up, looking at the phone as if it was a burden I needed to carry around, and glanced over at her.

"Edward's been in a car accident. I'm so sorry, I've got to go." I hoped she'd understand that he needed me, he needed his friend right now, but what she did next surprised me. She took my hand and brought me back into the house, away from the road or any taxi that could take me to the hospital Edward was insured at, and grabbed her car keys.

"What?" I wondered, tugging against her steely hold as she dragged me to a door in the back of the house. Was she going to tie me up and leave me here so I couldn't go to him? The strange, kinky part of me didn't mind that but the important woman inside did. She wanted to run to the hospital and worry until Edward was okay again.

"I'll drive," her voice was controlled and determined, unlike it usually was when we'd talk about Edward. She hated him, and I knew that, so I didn't understand why she'd take me to see him now of all times. Usually she'd make some snide comment about how much I wanted to be with him instead of staying with her, and while I loved that jealousy, now wasn't the time for it. Edward might not have been the boy I fell in love with in Forks, but he was the man I'd come to love even more than a brother over the years we'd lived together in this city.

"It's fine," I protested, "I know you hate him…" I couldn't even think about their hatred when he might be dying, because my heart pounded hard at the thought of never seeing him again. Never seeing him and Alice argue in my living room over the stupidest shit. I just wanted to be there with him and tell him it was okay, not that I'd been in love with a woman that hates him for months.

She laughed then, peeling out of the drive to weave dangerously quickly through the New York City traffic. "I could never hate anything you love, Bella," she took my hand and placed a gentle kiss there, "and I will always be here for you whenever you need me. I'm your friend before I'm your lover and right now Edward needs both of us. All those times that we fought I was just jealous of what you two had." She gripped the steering wheel tighter, and I smiled through the pain I felt in my chest.

"There was no reason for you to be. I haven't loved Edward like that since our senior year in High School, but I've never been strong enough to leave him because I know it'd kill him. I do love him," I smiled softly, for it was true, "but I love you so much more Alice. I've never felt anything like I feel for you, and nothing will ever change that." I swore it to her, and even as I talked I was turning to face her and let her see it in my eyes.

She shook her head, "and of course you know I love you too, but Edward needs you," she unlocked the doors and I jumped out eagerly, only to look back at her, "go!" She shouted, laughing at the nod and thankful smile I gave her as I bolted toward the door, Edward's survival the only thing on my mind as the black Mercedes drove away into the cold afternoon. The smile was wiped from my face after a nurse spotted me and dragged me to a doctor, whose hands were soaked in blood. _His_ blood.

I froze, my heart sinking in my chest as the reality of this entire situation hit me. The doctor wanted me here, because this was bad. This wasn't routine. Our eyes met and as tears swam in mine, remorse filled his; he put on a fake smile and started toward me, but I knew what he was going to say.

My Edward, the smiling bronze haired boy from the backwards town of Forks, Washington was not going to survive the night. But just as my hope vanished and sobs began to beg for exit in my throat, a warm hand laced through mine. I glanced up to see Alice smiling reassuringly at me, her blue eyes full of love and all the hope I'd ever need. She was telling me in her own way that she knew whatever happened we'd be okay because we had each other. I squeezed her hand and as the doctor approached, tears ran down my cheeks. They were tears of sadness for my first love, but most of all tears of love for the girl I never knew I needed so badly.

**A/N:**

**Muhahaha! Told you it was a good chapter. I'll update soon guys :D**

**Review it!**

**-Dee**

**This chapter has been approved by the S.H.A.B.B.A. and given a rating of 4.8 out of 5 (cause he's a sweetie lol) **


	18. Adam and Steve

**A/N: Gonna thank Shabba for this now, because he's awesome :)**

**Sorry for the delay, I had some pretty shitty writer's block this week :/ I haven't written more than a paragraph a day lol. Enjoy it n_n **

**-Dee**

**Chapter Eighteen**

**Adam and Steve**

**(Apov**)

The doctor saw our hands connected between us, frowned, and I wanted to tell him to fuck off, but that would've upset my Bella. He thought she was here with me as more than a friend, and we were here to see her fiancé, so that was all too confusing to explain to anyone, so I shut up. I stuck by what I said earlier: I was her friend before I was her lover, and she really needed a friend right now. Even if it did make me entirely too smug to know we already looked like a couple. I only clutched her tighter to me as he approached, because her eyes widened and _I_ could almost feel her heart beating faster.

"It's okay, love," I assured her, unintentionally happy that we were finally together again. I tried to suppress that happiness for Edward's sake, but it wasn't really working out. I'd never imagined the reason for her not saying she loved me too was because she hadn't seen my note, and I felt insanely stupid for even writing it instead of just telling her when she came to Jasper's to confess her feelings. I shook my head to clear it of those thoughts, and watched the doctor take off his stained gloves before his eyes met hers. He discarded them in a red waist basket, and stopped a few feet away from us.

"Isabella Swan?" He asked, making sure she was who he thought she was. When she nodded like she was unable to speak, he continued.

"I'm Doctor Cullen," her eyes widened and they shook hands, but before he continued Bella spoke and surprised the hell out of me.

Her brown eyes were soft as she spoke to the blonde doctor. "You're one of Edward's teachers, right? Carlisle?" The man nodded with a smile on his lips. Oh boy, how ignorant I was: I wasn't even aware that Edward was in med school - much less that he was being trained by a doctor.

"Yes, and I must say it's a pleasure to finally meet you, Isabella. Well, I come bearing good news. We just got him stabilized;" he stepped closer to us as she began shaking, and the severity of this conversation leaked in, "but I should tell you that his car rolled on the freeway after a truck hit him - that's what the sheriff told me. He suffered minor cuts across his entire body, a broken arm, but the most severe was this." He showed her a three inch long shard of glass in a jar. There were no signs of blood, but I couldn't help but wonder where the fuck that came from, or where that had come out of.

He saw her shock mixed with horrified petrifaction, and smiled softly in reassurance. "We were able to remove it and found it had almost punctured his jugular. After stopping the bleeding there, we stopped the internal bleeding from the blows he received, and he should make a complete recovery after a few nights under my watch. The arm will take longer, of course." He chuckled when her mouth fell open and I grinned from ear to ear at the news. Edward, a man I couldn't say I hated or liked but was important to my girl, was going to be alright and that made my anxieties disappear. She slumped against my shoulder, making my body heat up with lust that I had to push away. She smiled as her tough girl bravado fell away, and let tears course down her cheeks as she smiled.

"If you'd like you can go see him, he's just past that curtain," he pointed to the one he'd recently come out of with a glaring red number two above it. I swear she almost passed out from happiness, but she looked over at me and back at the doctor quickly. The jealous beast that I'd put in a cage grumbled at the thought of her being alone with him, crying for him, but I rolled my eyes at myself. _She's only crying because her best friend who almost died is going to be alright, dumbass. _My thoughts calmed the beast and it quieted so I could hear what she said next.

"Alice," she took my hand again, jarring me, "can Alice join me? Please I can't do this without her." My heart warmed at that, and I bit my lip as a rare blush covered my cheeks. The girl always knew just how to make me feel like a blushing, virgin teenage schoolgirl.

The doctor smiled, shook her hand, and responded in the best way. "Of course, just be mindful of the nurses. And if you need anything press the call button behind his bed." He left then, walking as fast as doctors all seemed to do, and I wrapped my arms around her shoulders to pull her close to me before she burst into tears.

"Shh, Bell," I kissed her cheeks very gently and rested my head on hers, "it's alright. He's alright, honey." I took her face in my hands, wiped away all the pesky tears, and kissed her lips very gently. It wasn't like anyone here knew us anyway, but it calmed her significantly. She fell into the crook of my neck and drove me insane with just one kiss to it. Her small hands ran up and down my back, and she pulled away to stare at me, never blinking. She rested her forehead against mine and I couldn't help but smiling when our fingers laced together. The world was peaceful when we were together like this, no matter where we were.

But being as where we were was a damn hospital, my mouth betrayed my mind and heart. "Edward." I reminded my love begrudgingly, and she nodded quickly, only to start dragging me along with her toward the ultra-white hospital curtain. Had I mentioned the sight of blood made me faint? I gulped as she pulled the curtain back slowly.

A sigh of relief passed her lips, and mine, when we saw he was lying in a bed, no blood in sight. His eyes were shut, and the steady sound of beeping from a monitor was the only thing to be heard in the quarantined space. I took her hand when she gasped at what we both saw. It was Edward alright, and he looked like he'd escaped from death's clutches - but only just. Her hand traced his bruised cheeks, up the cut on his forehead, and finally fell to his two black eyes. A tear even passed my eyes as I glanced down at the broken boy. "Bell," I turned her to face me, and saw her face was pale and withdraw, "you need to call his parents; Emmett and Rose. Everyone. He'll be in the hospital for at least a week, so notify his school if the doc hasn't already." She nodded, grabbing her phone shakily out of her pocket. I meant to follow her out of the silence, but she stopped me in my tracks.

"No," she began shakily, "I need you to stay here in case he wakes up before I come back. Please Ally," I melted when she called me that, "just this one thing." And how could I say no to those eyes? Such warm pools of caramel, begging me to stay beside a man I hardly knew.

"Okay," my heart spoke and it came out in words, very grumbly words, but still something more than a dreamy, teenage girl stare. I cursed myself when she kissed my lips very quickly and walked out into the lobby of the hospital to deliver the grim-ish news to his family and our friends.

I sat, on an old purple reclining chair beside him, and looked at his handsome face. Bella was very lucky to have _such_ a man, but then again the way he acted around her was almost as if he'd been longing for something else the entire time. I touched his cool fingers, smiling when they curled around mine, and jumped when I heard the sound of frantic panicking coming from the hall.

"Where is he," a male voice shouted, "where's Edward fucking Masen you prick? He's got bronze hair and green eyes, and he's been in a god damn car accident!"

I stood up, hearing Edward's name as well as a doctor's asking who he was after the shouting stopped, and saw a very tall, very angry, Native American looking fellow headed right for me. Bella was quick on his heels, confusion written all over her face. The boy brushed passed me and stopped abruptly when he saw just how bad Edward looked. Even tears pooled in his eyes, and that didn't happen to most men when they saw their buddy laid up. I met up with Bella, just next to the curtain and nudged her shoulder. My voice was quiet as the man fell to his knees beside the bed. "Who is that?"

She shook her head, still in shock from seeing him I supposed. "He's Jacob, but I don't understand. Jake," she touched his muscular shoulder, "what are you doing in New York? How did you know we'd be here?" So he must have been someone from that town...Spoons? I hated my memory, and I was sure that wasn't the name of the place, but the boy turned and I saw true sadness and worry in his eyes. Who was this guy and why was his sole concern Edward and nothing else? My suspicions rose when he seemed at a loss for words.

He was flabbergasted for an explanation, but as he opened his mouth a few times, words began to form. "I, well, uh-"

"He came here to see me." A soft voice came from the bed and we all whipped around to see Edward had opened his eyes and was smiling up at the giant man fondly. Bella went to his side, as did I, but his eyes never left Jacob's.

I saw something there, something I recognized. It was the same way Bella would gaze at me from afar, and by the look in Jacob's eyes, it was the same way I'd look back at her with just as much secret love and affection. It all clicked then. The way Edward reached up to grab his hand, the softness in their voices, the worried shrieking coming from Jacob. My eyes widened and I tugged on Bella's hand, trying to get her away from this scene before her heart broke.

"Ed," Jake interrupted what I was about to say as he sat in the chair, "my god what happened?" He pressed a kiss to Edward's fingers and that's when things started clicking for Bella, too.

"They're," she hesitated, "holy shit, Alice. I don't fucking believe it." I grimaced when her eyes widened and her mouth dropped, and then her stare met Edward's. She gaped at him for a moment as he gave her an apologetic smile and I tried to hide my smirk. I knew it. I fucking knew it: the designer jeans, the snooty attitude and insane amount of eye rolling all pointed to one thing.

"What's," she swallowed, "what's going on between you two?" they looked between each other, frightened and at a loss for words, so before either of them could come up with some stupid excuse, I glanced over at her.

"Bell," I interrupted, "I think it's pretty obvious." I tried not to laugh as they both blushed and looked away from her cold, hard stare. She smiled, though, and even let out a laugh as she looked at the man lying in the hospital bed.

"I never would have seen that one coming, really," she looked at me again, one of her eyebrows rose, "you're gay?"

"No," Jacob shook his head, "it's not that. I've never been attracted to another man before I met Edward, but when we met back in Forks I just felt like the entire world changed. I love him, not because he's a man, but because he's the other part of my soul," Jacob took Edward's hand lovingly and kissed the top of it, "because he's mine and I'm his. Bella I'm sorry I never told you how I felt about him, and I'm sorry if it hurts you to hear it now but I'm in love with Edward." He was smiling, even though Edward had tears in his eyes. I think everyone, including Bella and I, were at the point of sobbing at the beauty of it all. Bella cut in before we all started going menopausal.

"I'm not hurt at all, actually," she blushed, "I've got a confession to make, as well."

My stomach twisted in knots. Was this really the right time to tell Edward we'd been fucking for months behind his back? Well, he'd been doing it for years behind hers. I took her hand, but what surprised both of us was when he shook his head with that devilish smirk on his lips. "I already know. Why do you think I've been so angry with you? I've known about you and Alice for a while. I walked in on you two taking a shower together, and I decided to leave before I did something rash. I was," he hesitated as we both stared at him in shock, "jealous of what you two could have whenever you wanted. I only got Jake once or twice a year, and you had Alice once or twice a day.

"Give or take." I mumbled, looking around the room inconspicuously as Bella giggled.

Bella pushed me away gently, shaking her head as she always did, but I saw real nervousness past the mask. "So, you're not mad?" She was looking directly at him, and I imagined this was one thing Edward never thought he'd have to talk about, especially after getting into a major car accident.

"No," he smiled and reached for her hand, "I could never be mad that you've found someone you can love the same way I love Jake. I'm happy for you, and I hope that you have more courage than I do because I couldn't even tell you, my best friend, that I was in love with a man." I knew Bella had the courage; it was me that was the problem. I was a coward, and I'd never be able to look Jasper in the eye, like she was doing right now with Edward, and tell him I loved a woman. I bit my lip as she chuckled and reassured him that all of our friends would support him if this was what he wanted.

"Well," Doctor Cullen interrupted, "we have a room for you now, Edward. I assume Bella would like to join you?" He looked over at the brown haired girl with a smile, but she shook her head before Jacob or I could get grumbly.

"No actually Jacob is going to be accompanying Edward. I'll come by tomorrow with some soup and stuff so you can shower, alright?" They both thanked her with their eyes, and as the doctor wheeled his bed down the hall with Jacob close behind, I got on my tip toes to kiss her cheek. She was always so perfect and kind to everyone, and I could never imagine seeing her unhappy in any way. I'd do anything to keep the smile on her lips.

We were alone in the hall when she pressed her forehead against mine, and my body had melted by now. Her lips pressed very softly against mine and I gasped out a breath at the long forgotten contact. "I love you, my Bella." I promised that I always would, and I'd never let her go now that we were free.

"And I love you, Ally." She swore right back and I hid the giggle with a sigh of content. My arms, however, had another idea and I was practically jumping on her as we hugged.

Bella wove herself out of my arms, only to wrap hers around my waist from behind me as we walked. "Well, now there's only one thing we need to do." She whispered in my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I nodded and turned enough to get a look at her over my shoulder.

"A-and what's that?" Damn my voice's betrayal. I felt like such a virgin whenever I talked to her. My panties got wet, my cheeks heated up, and I could feel my heart pounding away in my ears.

"Well there is an apartment, not too far from here, where we can light some candles, maybe get some take out, and after I've charmed you as well as I can, we'll have hours and hours of love making to do." I felt her lips touch my neck and the word love making had my heart in a frenzy of butterflies. She wanted me, not for sex, but to love every inch of her.

And how could I ever say no?

I threw the stupid keys to the Mercedes in a sewer drain as we got to the street, and took her hand as we walked proudly down the streets of New York. Screw Jasper, I just wanted my Bella and apparently her Edward wanted his Jacob. Life was finally starting to get into the right perspective, and at last I felt free of all the chains keeping us apart. It only took ten minutes of staring at her, running my fingertips up her arm until her eyes would roll back into her head a little, before we got to the apartment.

I'd missed this place, even more so now that we were together, and after she locked the door and turned on the lights, smiles met our faces. Everything was as it was before we'd left: messy, yet organized, colorful with nothing matching, but everything looked perfect. Bella wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me close as we both stared at our home. I felt a peace inside of me that hadn't been there before now, and hadn't been there the night when I stayed here alone, either. I knew then that I only had this peace when I was with her, and I didn't plan on letting it go anytime soon.

Lust erupted in me when her hips met mine and she pushed me against the door hungrily, taking away all of the sweetness of the moment to replace it with heavy want and raw desire. This was the Bella I missed; the Bella I wanted. I shoved against her hold, pushing her into the kitchen island with ease as our lips locked and our tongues intertwined impatiently. So maybe the love making would come later, I didn't care. My body ached for her special brand of love after so long of not having it.

My hands ran up her shirt and I felt the warmth of her skin heat mine just as a blush ran across her cheeks. A blushing Bella? That was something I wasn't used to when we were alone. Slowly, I lifted her shirt over her head and marveled at the pale skin across her ribs, all the way up to her perky nipples, and I couldn't control myself anymore. My lips ran across the skin of her collar bone, tasting the essence of her skin only to moan at it as I went down to her hardened nipples. My tongue flicked across one, getting gasps and moans as she ran her hand across the front of her jeans eagerly. I'd wanted this for so long, and as my tongue ran down her stomach my thoughts became hazy. I could taste her desire on my tongue, even as I bit down on her underwear, getting a giggle from her lips as I slid them down eagerly.

I kissed her hip bones, slowly making my way down to the heated, wet spot between her legs. I knew it was torture for her to have me so close without doing anything, and that only made it even better. My fingers teased the outside of her entrance, dipping in and out slowly, only to go back inside of her and tease the delicate folds with my tongue at last. Bella's legs wrapped around my shoulders and I pushed her against the island greedily as I licked across her clit and pumped my fingers in and out of her tight pussy.

"Fuck," Bella moaned loudly as the other leg wrapped around me, pulling me closer. My eyes opened and I saw her head thrown back, her fingers clamped tightly down on her nipples, and her mouth half open as musical moans came past her lips. My sex was aching with want, and as I slid one hand between my legs Bella smirked down at me and pulled me further into the apartment. My lips were too busy on hers to even notice we'd entered the bathroom or that she had started the shower, until my clothes started coming off and my eyes opened. The steam from the hot water fogged the room, and her long brown locks twisted around her back as the moisture began to seep into our skin. I kissed up and down her chest, teasing her nipples as her fingers slid across my pussy and she groaned at how wet I was for her.

But then I remembered what she'd told me she wanted, and I stopped lapping around her nipples, and stopped my hands from moving from her hips to the curve of her ass. "Bella," I gasped as her hands ran down my legs still and her lips pressed a soft kiss to my inner thigh when she bent down, "I know you want to do this slow-"

She pushed my legs open; interrupting everything I'd been thinking or saying. "I want you, now, Alice. We've got forever to be slow, and I'm still not sure if I believe any of what happened today, so I want to take as much of an advantage of it as I can. I've missed your taste," she kissed up my side, and now her hot lips were at my ear, "I've missed your touch," she hesitated as she took my hand and pressed my back into the cold tile of the shower, "but most of all I've missed this." She smiled and I mimicked the act, understanding that she'd missed me more than she missed having sex with me, and that made my heart swell in my chest. She really did love me too.

I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her cheek softly, calming the lust of the moment, albeit not very easily. "You don't know how much I've missed having you this close to me," I whispered against her lips as our faces had traveled closer unintentionally, "but please promise me we'll never be apart again."

She kissed me gently, pressing her plump lips against mine very tenderly, and rested her head in the crook of my neck. "How could I ever leave you again, Alice? You're the only thing in the world that matters to me anymore. I promise as long as I'm breathing I won't leave your side ever again."

My head fell against hers, bliss running through me as strong as the lust was, and traded positions with her. She hissed at the coolness of the tile, but didn't object as my lips pressed against hers, my tongue slid past her lips, and my hand ran down her body slowly. I was sparking every kind of goose bump in both of us as I trailed my hand down to her entrance and pressed my fingers inside of her. She broke the kiss, only to moan, and quickly push her hand down my body to tease my clit. I gasped her name, bucking my hips into her touch as she expertly found the perfect spot and rolled her fingers against me.

My digits left the warm wetness inside of her and ran across the hard pearl between her folds. We tumbled into the warmth of the water, getting soaked as we kissed and panted for more from each other. I could feel all the pent-up yearning inside of me beginning to release as Bella's toes curled and her eyes clamped shut tightly. She came on my fingers, screaming my name into my neck, and the sight of something so dazzling slathering her juices all over my hand sent me over the edge.

I slumped against her as the warmth in my stomach spread down, hazing my thoughts as my body was wracked with the tremors from the most intense experience in my life. She grinned against my skin when I went limp and lowered me into the tub I hadn't noticed had been filling with hot water. I sat between her legs as we caught our breath, panting and grabbing at each other still. I turned in her arms, wrapped my legs around her waist, and kissed her melodiously. Our delicate smiles mirrored the emotions inside of us, and when she reached over to shut off the water and we were left in silence, I put my head against her chest and listened to her heartbeat. It'd become the melody of my life, and being this close to her, feeling her love, only solidified my own.

"Bella?" I wondered quietly as the dripping from the faucet broke our perfect silence.

"Alice?" She questioned back, peering out of one eye to look down at me as I sat up again and looked down at her perfection.

"I love you," I couldn't hold it in anymore – I'd been wanting to say it for months, and I didn't care how repetitious it sounded.

She pulled me closer then, and we both sat up, our legs tangled into a mess in which I couldn't tell where Bella began or I ended. She pressed a kiss to each of my cheeks, then my eyelids, and at last to my lips. I blushed, something rare for me, and she chuckled at the sight of it, but put me out of my misery soon enough. "And I will always love you, too, Alice."

**A/N: **

**Aw :) BUT I'm so fucking sorry this was late! I've been pretty preoccupied with everything going on in my damn life, and writing has been hard to do. I hope this chapter was worth it! AND I hope y'all enjoyed the lemony goodness/loved the sweetness that is Bellice back together! Lol**

**Review it :) **

**-Dee**


	19. Lose Yourself

**A/N: Sorry, I know it's a lot shorter than all of the other chapters, but it's something right? Well I hope y'all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. **

**Chapter Nineteen **

**Lose Yourself**

**(Apov) **

Have you ever woken up and honestly thought you were still dreaming? Well, apart from the grumbling in my stomach, I never thought it would be possible to think that. I'd been living with the largest asshole on the planet, but when I woke up after an entire night of worshiping the woman I loved with my lips, I knew that sometimes life could be as good as dreams were. I ran my hand across her cheek and moved the seaweed like hair away from her face. She was so beautiful as the pale gray light of the sky washed across her body and made her skin shine as pale as snow. I knew, from the moment I met her at Rosalie's bar, she was the one I'd spend the rest of my foreseeable life with. I wanted that – and now I could have it without regret.

I kissed Bella's forehead gently and slithered out of her arms without stirring her. As I wandered through the apartment, I couldn't keep a stupid smirk off my lips. Everything was the same as it had been before we lost our way from each other, and last night was perfect, but it was just a taste of the future we would have together. I only lamented the way it had to happen: Edward being hurt and all. But at last, I felt comfortable in my own skin: like I belonged here with her forever. I belonged here forever – even if the apartment really needed to be cleaned and most of the furniture needed to be moved back in it. I started up a pot of coffee and sat down on the soft crushed velvet chair beside the TV, only to notice that something was pushing against my tight bubble of happiness.

Jasper.

My stomach tightened at the thought of that bastard. If I hadn't been so enchanted by Bella's beautiful face, and her glorious body lying a few feet from me, I might have actually groaned at my thoughts. He would stop at nothing to have me by his side, even if that meant marrying me then killing me to make sure I'd never run again. I shuddered at the notion of him finding me here; with her wrapped up in my arms. He'd kill us both if he knew of all of the "sinful" things we'd been doing. We had to find a way to make this work without endangering both of our lives in the process. I didn't give a fuck if he knew I was in love with her and damn proud of it; I gave a fuck that he might know who I left him for and come hurt her. I glanced over at her peaceful face, still graced with a smile, and felt my heart ache for her.

Why did shit have to be so god damn complicated?

Coffee. Coffee would make this situation all better, I told myself. I poured the black gold into a soup cup and grabbed an extra large band shirt off the floor to put over my naked shoulders. When I saw her stir my masochist, borderline homicidal, thoughts ceased and I grabbed a glass for her on my way over to the bed. Jasper would have to wait: I didn't want to miss one second with her – not ever again.

"Hey," she rasped sexily. "What time is it?"

I shrugged. What was time? "It doesn't really matter, love. How did you sleep?" I wondered as I handed her the big cup and watched her eyes widen with thanks.

She smirked up at me and kissed me dizzyingly before taking the cup from my hands. "Like the dead. What about you? How long have you been up?"

So this was what it felt like to wake up beside someone that you actually wanted to know shit about. It was odd to me that my heart calmed when she said she was fine, happy even. I blushed and sat next to her half-naked form on the soft bed. "I only woke up because my stomach growled, and not even a half hour."

Before my Bella could respond with anything more than a sweet smile, the phone rang shrilly throughout our little love nest. I jumped at the volume, but she just rolled her eyes and reached for it. "Yeah?" She kissed me and stood up, revealing her underwear clad body that was impossible not to touch.

So, naturally, my hands ran across her boney hips and up to the ribs that peeked out from under the skin. _She needs to eat more_, I frowned but then I laughed because eating hadn't been high on my list of priorities since we parted ways the last time, either. Glancing down at myself, I shuddered at the weight loss I saw, but pushed it out of my mind to be replaced with lust. I kissed her navel as she nodded unconsciously to whatever the person was shouting at her on the line. "Rose," she laughed, "you need to calm the fuck down and tell me what you need instead of shouting everything like a crazy bitch. What. Is. The. Matter?"

More shouting only made both of us laugh and cover the receiver so she didn't get pissed at us along with whatever was bothering the bridezilla. With Rose, I could only imagine it was something about her spectacular wedding that was just around the corner. While Bella grinned and stared out the large windows, I couldn't help but entertain thoughts of a wedding where she was the center of everything – not Rosalie. And I was the person giving myself to her forever – not Emmett. But then images of me in an Emmett sized tux with Bella in a frilly Vera Wang corrupted the sweetness and I snorted. That would never be us, and I didn't want it to be. Maybe we could go back to Spoons if we ever wanted to join our souls together forever.

"Alright," Bella interrupted my train of thought. "We'll be there as soon as we can. We've got some pretty good news too, but I have to visit Edward at the hospital first, okay?" I only assumed that yesterday Bella had told Rosalie about the accident, but not the amazing outcome of such a disaster. I was just glad no one had to die for me and Bella to have to be together.

She hung up the vintage-looking phone and sighed halfheartedly. "Rose wants you and me to help her with her flower arrangements, since she's pushed the wedding back because of Edward's accident," she grumbled. I nodded, but only to show her if that's what she wanted to do I was up for it. Of course Bella, being Bella, saw right through that and tackled me to the bed. After peppering my face with kisses and making me moan as her legs wrapped around my waist, she smiled down at me. Our lips met softly, and I felt love pour out of her without hesitation as our eyes opened and I stared up at those soft brown pools of warmth. My bones turned to jelly even after she stood up and handed me some jeans.

"No," I complained. "Bella, let's just stay in bed and forget the day. Please?" I knew I was begging with her, but when I saw her bend over to grab her clothes, and her perfect ass stuck up in the air, I couldn't help but hate Rosalie for calling and interrupting our morning.

Bella came over to where I sat, with my mouth hanging open and my loins on fire, and kissed my forehead. "Even if she hadn't called, I have to go give Edward some regular food or he'll blow up, and I'm going to go see him today anyway – just for a little while." She pulled a shirt on over her head and curled up on my lap when I opened my arms.

"So you want me to head to Rose's first and deal with her madness? Well good, I love wedding crap, ya know." I giggled when she nodded gratefully. At least I didn't have to spend the afternoon in a hospital room with Edward and his lover, however relieved it made me to know he was no longer possessive over the woman _I_ loved.

Bella rested her head on my shoulder after she pulled a sweatshirt over her shoulders, and I wrapped my arms around her tightly. A deep feeling of peace washed over my head and put me under its spell. This was perfect, she was perfect, and for the first time in my adult life in New York, I was truly happy.

"So," she sighed, slipping out of my embrace, and taking the warmth of her hug away. "I'll see you in an hour or so," she smirked and kissed my lips tantalizingly, "I love you, Ally." I melted at the softness in her voice, and I had to fight tears of stupid contentment down, but I nodded and kissed her back. I was like a kid in a candy store when I tasted her strawberry lips, and the smile wouldn't wipe off my face – even after we parted.

"And I love you, my Bella. Be safe, I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you." I fought the way my voice quivered with worry, but even if she noticed it she just rolled her eyes at me. She didn't like it when people took care of her; that was one thing I loved about her, and hated at the same time. I wanted to hold her in my arms forever so nothing could hurt her, but with my brown eyed love that would never happen – not in this lifetime at least.

I followed her to the door, watching the way her ass swayed when she walked and tried to keep myself from drooling when she turned around and wrapped her arms around me. "I'll be fine. You be safe on your way to Rose's, though. I know we've left the assholes behind us," she huffed, "but I don't trust Jasper as long as he's in this city. There's pepper spray in my bag, and I'd feel more comfortable if you took it with you."

That seemed reasonable enough, even unnecessary, as Rose's apartment was only a few blocks from here. "I'll take it with me," I assured her. "See you in a few hours." On the inside it was a promise, even though it just sounded like reassurance. We kissed and my eyes rolled back in my head when her soft tongue lapped at the entrance of my mouth, begging for the entrance I gave her. We parted, our lips centimeters apart, and she pressed a soft, passionate peck on my mouth.

"Love you," she whispered, even though people were walking by and staring with mouth's wide open. I blushed because she was in love with me – even when people could see that she was. I hoped I gave her at least a shred of what it felt like to be so loved.

"Love you," I smiled back. She grinned and headed down the hall, away from me and my heart starting beating harder, like it'd been laced with molasses. I stood there, in my shirt and underwear, until the cool afternoon air nipped at my legs and brought me out of the trance that was Bella Swan.

And now that she was gone, I hated to admit that I already missed the light she brought into my life. Her smell was all over the bed and as I fell into it I laughed out loud with happiness. I had my Bella. At fucking long last I had her in my arms. My happiness, however profound, was interrupted by my cellphone buzzing in the nightstand beside the bed.

"Ugh," I groaned unpleasantly, "what the fuck now?"

Before I could even say hello, Rose began shouting at me, and I knew my time daydreaming about the girl that just left was up. "Ok, ok, Rosalie!" I shouted, "I'm coming over right now, chill, jesus." I pressed the green button and rolled my eyes as I yanked a pair of jeans over my legs and grabbed my house keys out of the bowl. Fucking woman was still a god damn psychopath about all her wedding shit, even thought it'd been moved up a month to accommodate Edward.

"Stupid Rose, kicking my ass over the phone," I grumbled while locking the door behind me. I didn't really mind that people looked at me like I was crazy for bitching to myself, but when I got outside into the freezing air, it was like someone's eyes were glued to me. I knew people would stare at the oversized shirt that hung off me, or even the thin legging jeans I put on, but this was different. Shuddering, I clutched my jacket tighter and started down the cracked sidewalk. It was that creepy pre-rape feeling and it only made me bustle down the sidewalk faster.

I shook off the feeling of someone following me, but only because Rose's apartment was three blocks from here and I didn't want to turn around and see the person that was behind me. Somewhere inside of me, I already knew who it was anyway. I could hear whoever it was breathing, walking quicker to catch up to me. Tears prickled my eyes when hands clamped down on my shoulders roughly and before I could scream, I was shoved me into an alley. I was so close, just in the back alley behind Rose's place, and I only regretted not grabbing the pepper spray off of the kitchen counter before I left. Bella was going to be so pissed off at me she'd bring me back to life just to kill me herself.

His voice rushed through me like ice water on a summer day. "This is what happens when you fuck with me, Mary Alice," the heavy voice breathed as he got on top of me and pressed his hard member into my back. I knew, as I felt something hard smash over the back of my head and everything went fuzzy and black, exactly who it was. A zipper came undone as I begged for help, but only a mere whisper passed my lips. I could feel his hands all over me, cutting and bruising the surface of my skin. I hated the prick as I glared into his blue eyes, more than I ever thought I could hate another person.

My head hit the pavement, and I gasped out loud at the cracking noise my skull made. Futiliy, my mind thought about her soft brown eyes, her weak smile, her warm embrace. _I'm sorry Bella_, but even my thoughts didn't make sense as I thought of her. Why was she smiling at me like it was okay to give up? When darkness crept up on my vision, and she faded, I knew I'd be lucky if I ever woke up again; I shed a tear for the woman in my heart and let the blackness consume me.

**A/N:  
>So a BIT cliffy. Sorry. But I am working on the new chapter as you read this, so don't be too bummed :) AND I know there wasn't much progress in this chapter, except finding out Bella and Alice are head over heels and Rose has postponed her wedding. But who the hell would think to hurt Alice?<strong>

**OH and I am looking for a new Beta, as the relationship with my previous one got weird and he kinda exploded on me (in a not so sexual way lol) for a very stupid boy/girl reason. Anyway, if you're interested in the job PM me :)**

**Review it!**

**-Dee**


	20. Shades of Gray

Chapter Twenty

Shades of Gray

(Apov)

I couldn't see anything in this thick forest of black but a dark pool of water stretched out in front of me that seemed to go on for miles. There was no pain in this darkness: only emptiness and a bleak sense of defeat that washed away the sensation of broken bones and sorrow. I stepped into the water and immediately heard sirens shrieking into the forest around me. I looked down at the ripples in the water and gasped at what I could see and hear in the waves. It was me - but I didn't look like me.

I was lying on the gray cement with paramedics surrounding my corpse, trying to do take the haunted stare out of my dead eyes. But I felt fine; I was fine, wasn't I?

And then I actually looked at myself in the pool. My skin was gray and blotched with dried blood; my hair was matted with mud, but it was my eyes that awoke me to my fate. The once blue and vivid pools of life had turned gray; my soul had left them, and I needed to get back in my body before it was too late. I was in the jumping off place now, and I was going to let the darkness take me away. I could only see a fair shade of a face, a distant memory of a smiling girl that made my heart swell and thud unevenly. Bella was her name, and she was everything. The memories rushed to me and I knew that this place was as fake as the breeze blowing through my hair.

What would happen to my Bella if she knew I was gone? The thought of her weeping over me sent rage through every fiber I had and I sprinted through the deep water, trying to catch the fading picture of my life. Jolts of electricity ran through me the closer I got and made me scream out in pain. I had to get out of this hell and back to my Bella, no matter how much pain it caused me in this world.

The image was fading fast and my limbs couldn't move fast enough to reach it. The world around me started to swallow the lake and I gasped as I fought to keep my head above the water. I wasn't going like this. I was going to let Jasper win, not after everything I'd done to stay with my true love. The waves crashed over my head and with my last breath I reached the blurred vision of my life and just as my fingertips graced over the hazed image all the pain and noise came back. The shell keeping my spirit in this beautiful noisy world came to life again as I opened my eyes and found myself inside of an ambulance. And everything hurt.

"Thank goodness you came back," a woman smiled down at me. "We almost thought you'd left us."

"B-bella," I managed to whisper. My throat was so dry I sounded like a chain smoker on crack. "My Bella," I rasped again, hoping the lady paramedic understood the meaning of the words my before a girl's name. She nodded and started working over me with the man next to her.

"You just stay with us child and you'll see her real soon, ok?" That was when I made the mistake of looking down at my body to make sure I was still me and this was really happening.

My clothes were torn, there was blood everywhere, and just looking at myself I knew the bastard had torn me up worse than the cuts and bruises on the outside. Swallowing the rabid feeling in my chest, I lied my head down and let the bitter tears flow down my cheeks.

"Honey, you just need rest until we get to the hospital alright? Lie down, try and relax and everything will be okay in a few minutes." I nodded and shut my eyes as the images of him having his way with me flashed behind the lids. I never thought he would go to such extremes just to fuck with me and until he was dead, or locked up forever, I would never be safe in my own skin.

(Bpov)

I never thought seeing Edward with another person would make me so happy. It was weird, especially since both of the men holding each other had been my boyfriend at one time or another, but nice. They were together and seeing them made me miss my Alice. I knew the feelings Jake and Edward shared were the same as she and I had and it tore at my heartstrings to be away from her for so long. "Hey," I sighed as I stood. "I'm gonna head to Roses', I have an Alice-deficiency and I'm about to start tweaking," I joked. It was partially true, but the lovebirds didn't need to know I was feeling so much desperation to know if she was safe at Rose's that it was eating away my chest minute by minute.

"Go, thanks for the real food," Edward smiled up at me, "love ya Bells." I could hear the emotion in his voice, and I couldn't ignore the swelling feeling in my chest when I could honestly say to him I loved him the _right_ way.

"Love ya too, well, both of you." I winked at Jake. "Call me, okay?" I watched the excitement in their eyes as Jake showed Edward a webpage where he'd been searching for homes since Edward had his accident. They had plans to move back to Forks: together. I wanted to at least see them for the little time they had left in the city with Alice and me.

He nodded, and when he opened his mouth to say goodbye as well, a commotion started outside; it was like a hundred voices were all talking over each other at once as they rolled a gurney quickly through the widened hallway. The person on the rolling bed, who I only saw for a split second, was covered in blood and bruises. Her delicate wrist hung over the edge and I couldn't help but notice the thick, wispy black hair blowing in the wind around her pale, sunken cheeks.

My stomach dropped as I followed numbly down the hall, toward the beautiful pale woman, and heard her name fall from a paramedic's lips. "Alice," she answered the doctor, "here's her phone. She'll want you to contact a girl named Bella." My heart twisted in my chest at the words and I felt everything blur until I was so dizzy I was panting. Was she dead? Was that why they needed me? _Please don't let her be dead_, my thoughts screamed when my body started shaking. "Alice?" I whispered as I stood outside of the room they were working on her in. I pushed past the uniformed employees and touched her soft, icy cheek with my fingertips. She was so cold: had she always felt so dead? Their heads turned toward me as I let out a choked sob. There must have been something on my face that let them know exactly who I was, and the balding doctor led me out of the room.

"Bella," he went on when I nodded with a frown, "we found her just a few blocks away from where she said her apartment was. She's been pretty beaten up. Minor cuts on her arms and abdomen mixed with a lot of bruising on more than eighty percent of her body." She pulled me aside and handed me a form that looked entirely too important for me to sign or even look at. More than half of her body had been beaten and they wanted me to just sit here and sign papers while she lied there in agony.

"What the fuck? Is she dying?" I wondered as I fearfully looked over the paper and pushed the rage back. It was all in Chinese: my mind couldn't process anything until it knew she was okay. She was my reason for living and she was lying on a bed – probably close to death – because I wasn't there to keep her safe. Guilt washed over me. It was my fault because I took her away from that bastard and he'd never stop until he got her back. Why couldn't I have just let her go? She would be fine, bored and tired of her average life with a stupid Texan, but fine.

"No, she's not dying," he assured me, "but she is unconscious and you are listed as her legal contact, so we just need you to sign off permission to do a few tests before the evidence goes away." Relief was overly brief; his words weren't good news but they certainly weren't the worst.

"What happened to her?" I wondered as I shakily looked at the five different papers on the clipboard. He handed me a pen and scratched his hairless dome.

"She was found lying in an ally with her underwear at her ankles and her jeans covered in blood. We just want to know if she was or wasn't raped, and we won't do that test until she wakes up and gives consent, but the other things are sewing up and treating her."

"Raped?" I nearly shouted in fury. Someone, no not just "someone". I knew who the fuck had done this to my love. My poor Alice: I felt like sobbing for what had happened to her and stabbing Jasper in the balls for every bruise that graced her beautiful skin. How could he have even thought about doing something like this to a woman he claimed to love?

The doctor sighed and nodded empathetically. "We aren't certain, but I need your permission to give her alternative medicine instead of regular, being as her condition doesn't allow us to use a regular anesthetic."

I froze and stared at the man like he was speaking Pig Latin. "What now?" I laughed, making sure than I was looking at MY Alice and not some random woman being worked over on a hospital bed.

What condition? What the fuck was this dumbass talking about? There wasn't anything wrong with Alice! "She's perfectly healthy; just scrape off the bruises and blood and she's perfect. What the fuck are you talking about?" I wondered with thick annoyance in my voice. I really hoped this wasn't another one of those "because she's a lesbian" things. I would murder him myself if he said that.

He frowned at me, looked back at the papers in front of him, and the way that he stared at me again with excitement and wonder in his eyes like I was the crazy one sent a shiver of curiosity down my spine. "You mean you don't know?"

(Apov)

There was a thick, watery taste in the back of my throat and dull throbbing around every single part of my body. That was the only way I knew I hadn't died – death wouldn't be so damn painful. "Son of a bitch," I cursed when I opened an eye only to see the sun shining through the wall length window of a recovery room.

"Ally." I immediately recognized the voice that was speaking very close to my ear and my hand tightened around hers in need. My soul called out to hers, begging for her to come just a little bit closer. It was in that instant that I realized my feelings for her went much deeper than love. This had to be cosmic, laid out in the cards of my life, because I'd never been so happy in such a fucked up situation like this. My Bella came closer to me and ran her hand down my cheek slowly.

"Bella," I sighed, catching her cool fingers, "he did this to me. That fucking bastard jumped me while I was on my way to Roses'." I apologized to her and she snorted loudly before kissing my forehead, pressing hers into mine as she held back tears I could already see. I knew I was wrong to say sorry for something that wasn't my fault, but hadn't we had enough of the stupid drama from Jasper? I just wanted it to end and I would do anything to see her smile like she did when we were together without fear of him knowing it.

Of course, she reassured me. "You don't need to apologize, Alice. It's not your fault, and nothing like this ever would be. I'm just so glad you woke up," she choked, always being the strong one when she didn't have to be. I ran my fingers through her chocolate hair and pressed my lips against hers. I felt entirely violated, but with her it was like nothing had even happened to me today. I let myself get carried away, running my hand across her soft breast by habit, and hissed when I felt a stabbing pain in my ribs. I was definitely feeling the burn across my chest when she pulled away, but it wasn't from the injuries on the outside.

Bella smiled and kissed my cheek softly, whispering that she loved me in my ear. The feeling spread all the way to the tips of my toes and I was on fire as she gazed at me with such passion and warmth. "Rest. The doctor's already been by and said you can leave later today if you rest properly. But there's something else, too." Her face became serious as she sat down on the bed and took my hand. "They want to do a rape kit, to put him away for good. I've already talked to some detectives and they want to start piling a case so he can never hurt us again. I know it's a lot to ask-"

"No," I started, interrupting her completely, "it's not a lot to ask. I'll do it. The bastard raped me and I don't ever want him to come near you to try and do the same thing. I'd rather die than see you like I know you see me. Tell the doctor I'm ready," I assured her, even though my heart was pounding hard in my chest with each word: I didn't want someone else's hands down there and I hoped I would be able to handle it.

She nodded and bit her lip in such a way I knew there was something else going on besides the Jasper thing. She left before I could see the secret in her eyes and I sunk into the hard hospital bed, lost in my own thoughts. If Jasper could be put away forever Bella and I would be free to live and love however the fuck we wanted without hiding. The wedding I never wanted for myself flashed before my eyes and I shut them as they moistened. I wanted that with her, no matter how hard it would be. Just the thought brought a smile to my face. I glanced at the bruises, black and purple, spread across my arms and legs. I must've looked horrifying, but the wounds looked worse than they felt. I just wanted to go home, but I knew when the curvy, beautiful doctor came in the room, right behind Bella that that wasn't going to happen any time soon. She looked familiar, almost like my mom in a strange way, but I shook it off. Bella's eyes wouldn't meet mine and I wondered what could possibly make her so afraid of looking at me, but the pain in my entire body screamed too much to really notice.

"What the hell," I complained as my body groaned in discomfort at the doctor's touch to my pulse point, "I thought hospitals had the good drugs that made all this pain go away?" I asked the woman before she could even introduce herself and she gave me an apologetic smile as she took out a brief case with swabs and a camera.

She sat beside me and looked at the charts before responding. "Well, it's the only medicine we can give you in this condition, so it's better than nothing right?" She laughed as I cocked an eyebrow and felt like I'd entered la-la land. Bella shook her head like it wasn't important, so I didn't press on, only gave my consent in writing to undo the injustice laid upon me by my ex-lover.

"Okay, I'm Esme," she assured me, "I won't hurt you Alice, but you must stay still if I'm to do this properly to put the asshole that did this to you in jail." I nodded at her words and felt comfort in her caramel eyes, but nervousness twisted in my gut when she spread my legs and placed them in stirrups. I wondered what possible condition I had that would get me out of taking morphine, but when the cool gloves pressed against my sex I gasped and reached for Bella in fear.

I could feel Jasper inside of me; hear his guttural grunts in my ear as he took me over and over again. I was back in that ally, holding onto my life as I came in and out of consciousness. I pushed away the bloody images of him splitting me open with his lust. "Stop," I begged and Bella kissed my cheek gently, soothing me enough so I wouldn't shut my legs.

"Shh, Ally, it's okay I'm right here and no one is going to hurt you, alright? Esme is the best gynecologist in New York; you're in good hands, love." Bella murmured reassurances as I cried at the pain the pokes and prods brought. Jasper faded as Bella came into my sight, like the angel she was, saving me from all the darkness in the world. I felt the doctor's swabs and cold metal tools leave me and I cringed as I curled up against Bella in the small hospital bed. The doctor gave me an apologetic look as she stood up and removed the gloves. I hoped it was over, the pain was excruciating and now I really wasn't going to stand for an 'I'll tell you later' on the whole no morphine policy.

"We're done, Alice. You did so well and I found more than enough evidence to put that man away for the rest of his life," her voice went cold as she spoke of Jasper and I knew it was because she felt the same rage I did.

I smiled at her, through the pain, and thanked her softly before asking the most important question. "Why the hell can't I have any good medicine? I'm not allergic to anything," I protested, but the doctor simply looked at Bella like she was utterly stunned that Bella hadn't told me what the fuck she was talking about. She stammered and went to the other side of the room to read the charts on the desktop.

My eyes met Bella's brown orbs curiously while the doctor busied herself and she sighed before running her hands through her thick hair. "I haven't told her yet, alright? The bastard just raped her, I didn't think it was the best time to tell her what the fuck else he did." She spat back out of hurt and rage, but they were emotions I didn't understand. Why was she so pissed off at the doctor for telling me about this "condition" I didn't even know I had?

"Bells," I chuckled as I reached for her hand, "I'm fine. I'm sure there is some misunderstanding here." I could even hint the touch of hysteria in my voice and it frightened me. What was wrong with me? Was I dying? Did the bastard kill me and along with my death Bella's as well? I knew she couldn't live without me anymore, as she had stated on more than one occasion.

Esme frowned a she grabbed the right papers and brought them to me. "No there's no misunderstanding." She handed me a clipboard and turned back to me with a smile that seemed sickly sweet and gooey. So gooey I already knew what she was going to say as desperation sunk in. "You are nine weeks pregnant, Miss Brandon."

**A/N: **

**I know, I know. It's late. You try working in telemarketing and find inspiration as people yell at you in Spanish. Lol anyway, hope you like it and I will be getting another chapter out again, soon. **

**As always, Review! :D**

**-Dee**


	21. The Fabulous Cupcakes

Chapter Twenty-one

Fabulous Cupcakes

(Apov)

I could almost feel little hands touching my skin from the inside as I stared up at the caramel haired woman in shock. Pregnant? Meaning a little tadpole was growing inside of me right at this moment, falling more and more in love with me as we grew together? And I was going to be a mom? A deeper sense of understanding than I'd ever known melted through me as the hand that wasn't full of needles rested on the lower part of my stomach where a barely noticeable bump had formed right below my navel.

How was this even possible? I wasn't supposed to be able to have kids! "But, I had an operation when I was younger, I had growths on my uterus," I stammered and she nodded, a soft smile on her face, "how is it possible that I'm pregnant? The doctors told me I'd never be able to have a child." My eyes had overflown with the news I never expected and never wanted. I never wanted kids! Was the feeling in my chest desperation? Misery? Crushing karma that was bound to come and bite me in the ass for all of the bad things I'd ever done? Or…even…love?

"Yes, well when I examined you, I saw the scarring from the surgeries, and it shouldn't be possible. But you're with child." The doctor assured me, absolutely certain of this news.

I knew a gasp flew past my lips and then Bella looked away from me with tears in her eyes, but it wasn't for the reason she thought. My heart was swelling, so fast I was left dizzy, and my own tears spilled over as I glanced at the doctor. I already loved the little light growing in me, living off of me. But…all of the drinking when Bella and I separated? It would have never survived that. "Do you know what if it's still," I choked at the thought of the contrary, "_alive_?" I had been plastered about ninety percent of the time I was with Jasper: we only separated a month ago at the very most. I clutched the blue fabric in fear as she looked over the charts.

Esme took my hand then, and I noticed that Bella had taken to staring angrily at the ceiling with an indignant look, but I focused on the woman in front of me instead of what was wrong with my lover. Surely Bella was angry because this meant I had a part of Jasper forever and we both loathed him with all the fibers in our bodies. But that wasn't the baby's fault.

Esme took over then, sorting out my thoughts with reassuring words. "Very much alive," she assured me, "and healthy. If you want to keep the fetus, it would come into this world with big, bright curious eyes, ready to explore this life with you. Bella has told me about the drinking, but if you don't drink anymore it's very likely to be a successful pregnancy. It's entirely your decision, Alice. Bella and I will be here with you every step of the way." Her smile was soft, motherly, and it made the chaos of my thoughts calm and sure. Maybe I hadn't fucked everything after all.

"Thank you, Esme." I looked at my Bella, whose face was burdened with rage and malice; "can we have a minute alone?" Esme nodded and walked out of the room, closing the heavy door behind her as Bella and I were drenched in silence. We never had awkward silences: that's how I knew something was wrong with her. But despite her worried look I couldn't help feeling my heart thud faster at just being able to see her: alone for the first time in what felt like forever. I knew I'd only seen her pale face hours ago, but after nearly dying it felt like a lifetime had passed. I just wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be alright, but I didn't even know if she still wanted that from me. My hand rubbed the bump, soothing myself unconsciously.

"This…isn't so convenient, huh?" I laughed while wiping little drops of water off my cheeks that I didn't even know had been there. She gave me a half smile and shook her head no, but even a dumbass could've sensed the conflict in the air.

Bella would never love this baby; I could see it in her eyes and it hurt me more than I ever thought it would. She didn't want a family with me: she didn't want the Anne of Green Gables life I'd hallucinated so many times since I'd met her. I always wanted to marry her and keep her for my own, even though I knew it was crazy. I wanted to have a family with her someday, maybe a child made from her egg and some random person we didn't knows sperm: someone there would be no consequence from. Maybe we'd even move to Canada. I bit my lip to hold the sob in my chest in as our gaze met and I saw surrender in her eyes.

"Please don't cry, Ally." She was at my side then, holding my hand as I leaned on her shoulder and huffed away the pesky tears. Bella ran her hands down my back, comforting and soothing me with her soft touch until I was almost moaning at the feeling of her cool hands on my overheated skin. "We'll be okay. Look, you don't have to keep it, Ally."

I pushed off her shoulder then, glaring at her scared brown eyes. "And why the fuck wouldn't I? Is it the baby's fault its father is a cunt? Is it the baby's fault I was raped and nearly beat to death so it could be conceived?" Bella's eyes had gotten wider as I let out all my rage on her. "YOU don't have to stick around if you don't want to, but I'm not going to give up on the only innocent part of this fucked up thing I call my life. I…I already love it." I laughed as I tried to control myself and pat away the tears in my eyes. I didn't care that Jasper still had so much control over my life: this time he'd actually done something good.

"You just feel like this because Esme painted the fucking world bright pink for you. Do you know it could be stillborn? Or born with a whole bunch of medical problems that will make it wish it was dead until it actually dies? Jasper fucked us Alice and I'm not saying that it's the _fetus's_ fault, but you shouldn't condemn it to a life of pain and misery!" She was shouting back at me, raw emotion in her voice as we both glared at each other.

"But she also said that there could be absolutely nothing wrong with it, Bella." I spoke softly, my voice wouldn't rise anymore. "It could come out as a beautiful baby. Totally normal. I won't give it up on a maybe, and if you can't accept that then I guess we're through." My heart ripped into a million shreds and I gasped when I spoke the words. It was deeper than all of the other wounds on my body; my mind wouldn't reject Bella, ever.

I started shaking when she grabbed her coat off the end of the bed and slammed the metal door behind her, red rims around her eyes as she left me behind. Bella was gone and it was my fault. I hadn't even considered how having a baby would make her feel like I'd leave her or how she would feel living with someone that came from someone she despised so much. I had to be selfish: this baby wasn't the one to blame for our problems. Pain dripped through every inch of my body: her presence was gone, her smell, her love, her light. I sobbed unthinkingly, clutching the pillow beside me roughly as I tried to control the seizing in my body.

I gained some composure on the outside, but my mind was lost when the doctor poked her head through the door. "Alice?" Esme had a grim look on her face as I nodded and wiped the tears away, bottling up the madness I knew would explode out of my in minutes.

She sat on the spinning doctor chair and came to my bedside, more charts in her hands. "Sorry. She's just…stubborn. I guess I'm on my own now." I joked while real fear gripped me and shook me around in its sharp teeth. Esme shook her head and smiled.

"I wouldn't be so sure," she winked and nudged toward the door, "she got to the end of the hallway and hasn't left yet. When I came in she was talking to some really tall, tan guy with a tattoo, yelling at him while he reasoned with her." Jake. If Bella was talking to Jake maybe she'd come back: or at least see me at our house later when she cooled off. Hope flourished, but was crushed when I saw more papers I'd likely have to sign.

"What's all this?" I nodded toward the clipboards, clutching my stomach.

She smiled and handed me a pen. "Release papers. We've treated all of your aliments and feel you're able to walk down the road without walking into a bus," she joked, making me smile as she took my hand, "and this is my number. Call me with your decision, whatever it may be when you're ready, okay?"

So I signed the papers that would let me go back into the world, feeling like some sort of mutant with the way everyone looked at me while I walked down the road. I felt like a pariah. Everyone who looked at me was a threat; everyone who passed me a cold shoulder that only reminded me of the darkness in her eyes before she left me alone on that bed. I held back the tears, at least until I got home. The hospital wasn't far from there anyway and within minutes I was standing at the front door, turning the key in the old lock.

Predictably, there wasn't anyone in our home.

I guess that was a relief, though. At least I had time to think on my own without Esme's obvious preference for me to keep the baby and Bella's cold desire for me to murder it before even getting to know it. I wasn't religious, and not at all worried about going to hell for getting an abortion, I just didn't know what was right for me _and_ Bella. What would she do? What would we do? Besides buy a different place with two bedrooms.

But I could see it! That's what was so fucked about this. I plopped down onto the red couch, letting out a huge sigh as my hands trailed to my stomach and I imaged what it would be like. Bella, sitting by a windowsill somewhere uptown, holding a pink little bundle in her arms, me getting home at five or six after planning a fabulous wedding to hold _our_ baby in my arms, and at last, I could see myself kiss her on the lips, feeling cool platinum across her left hand that symbolized our union forever.

I wanted that. She didn't, and it killed me. "We'll be okay," I promised the lump on my stomach, "whatever happens I know we'll be okay."

Because I'd made my decision: I'd made it long before coming home, actually, the instant I found out that this little miracle was inside of me. This was the only time I'd ever be able to bring life into this world and I wasn't going to get rid of my miracle. I wasn't going to get rid of the beautiful baby growing in me no matter what anyone said. Even if that someone was my strange, big eyed, lovely soul mate, Bella.

But now that I was home, I couldn't help feeling the layer of hospital gunk across my skin, the dirt in places I didn't even know could get dirty. It was shower time, no matter how much I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry myself to death. I stripped down to nothing, set my clothes in the laundry basket by the kitchen, and let the warm water from the tap run across my fingers. It felt like heaven, compared to the black lake I swam out of before dying on a city sidewalk.

I pushed that away and let Bella's strawberry shampoo run across every inch of my body, cleaning and making me feel like I had before I left the house today. I wondered if Bella had even told anyone, except Jacob of course, about what had happened today. I hoped not and groaned loudly when I imaged Rose's face: I ruined her wedding date because I got raped. She'd murder me on sight.

"Oh well," I sighed, turning off the now cooling water, and grabbed a towel off of the rack. I brushed my short hair, frowning at the bruise across my cheek and the cuts all around me face. No wonder everyone had been staring; I looked like a murder victim that'd just crawled out of her grave. "Lovely." Sarcasm flew off my tongue as I opened the door and shut off the bathroom light.

But I wasn't alone anymore.

She sat, on a stool beside the kitchen island, frowning at a bright purple and pink cupcake she held in her hands. Her hair was messy, windblown as usual, and her nervously sexy lip biting gave away her true emotions. "Bella?" I spoke softly, trying not to cry at just seeing her here with me in our love-nest.

"Alice!" She exclaimed, nearly falling off the back of the chair in surprise. "I'm sorry I didn't hear the shower turn off." She turned to me, holding the giant cupcake in both of her hands. Her watery eyes met mine then and her eyebrows puckered as she tried to tell me something that I felt would kill me.

Bella came toward me, biting her lip. "Edward told me when you're a jackass you have to get the person you love something to make up for it, but I didn't know what to get, and I figured since you're pregnant and all you'd be hungry," She mumbled, and I had to hold back my laughter "I'm sorry, Ally, you were right, I don't want you to get rid of the baby, it was just my prejudice against that fucking son of a bitch. Stupidly, and in a sort of impossible to believe way, I thought you'd leave me for him if you kept it. But two _fabulous _grown men metaphorically smacked me across the face and asked what the fuck I'd done and what was wrong with me. And when I looked at the situation the best way that I could, I couldn't even say why I'd left you there. I was mad at Jasper; I was freaked out about hearing that my girlfriend was pregnant when I clearly don't have a dick and I didn't want to believe he'd done you such an injustice. But then, I saw your face when you found out and the happiness and wonder on it just blew me away. I had a bit of a breakdown, but I promise you, my love, I'm back and I won't ever leave you again." She held out the pastry as if an offering of forgiveness and I couldn't help the little grin on my lips.

I nodded, playing it cool just to make her crazy. I walked around her and wrapped my arms around her middle to kiss her neck. "Thank you for coming back. I don't forgive you, my Bella because there isn't anything to forgive. I wouldn't have done the same thing if Edward had gotten you pregnant somehow. I love you, but," I paused when she turned toward me and stared at the floor, "I need to know if you're with me in this. Will you be with me, even after we have this baby? Will you love it as much as I already do?"

She smiled and rested her hands on my stomach. Her lips met mine and I melted away at her soft touch. Her tongue wrapped around mine, my hands gripped her hips and pulled her recklessly close, but she laughed and broke our connection. "How could you even ask me that Alice?" She wondered as she took my in her arms and walked over to our bed. "You already know that I will. I love you; I love everything that comes from you, including the baby inside of you." I smiled and rested my head against her chest, sighing at how absolutely content I was. I couldn't believe a person could ever be this happy.

"Good," I laughed as I straddled her hips and looked down at her. The drama needed to end: I'd had enough of it. I loved Bella, and she loved me, and obviously nothing in the world would ever get in the way of that. I kissed her lips, sealing the words with all of my love and rested my head upon hers. "And you know that I'll always love you too."

She nodded and pulled me down beside her on the goose feathers, holding me in her arms as we stared at the pale-faced moon. I knew I wasn't so damn sore I'd be all over her right now for giving into everything I wanted, but that wouldn't be the best idea I ever had anyway. But everything was going to change now and the hand that ran across the soft skin of my stomach lovingly, almost reassured me of that when hers enveloped it. And life was perfect, even if just for one night.

**A/N:**

**I'm sorry it took so long to get out. RECENTLY, I quit my horrible job because I hated it lol. But I've only got a month and a half before my other one starts full time, 3 to midnight as well, so I'll try and finish this before then. **

**Review it :D**

**-Dee **


	22. The Plaza Chapter 22

**A/N: I think I got a bit poetic in this one, sorry, I just watched Pride and Prejudice. Lol enjoy it n_n**

**Warning for the lemons and whatnot :P**

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

**The Plaza**

**(Bpov)**

"I can't fucking believe this," she screamed as she threw the deep blue dress across the giant, down-covered bed in rage. "My fucking dress doesn't fit!"

I couldn't help but laugh – if only a little at Alice's despair. Her beautiful, little baby bump forced her out of wearing a tight fitting dress for the special occasion we were headed to tomorrow. I wrapped her in my arms and kissed her forehead, thanking whatever God there was for giving me something so precious to love forever, and looked into her eyes.

"Baby," I soothed her furrowed brow with a kiss to her nose. "You are so beautiful." I kissed her neck, then the space between her breasts and finally let my lips linger on the miracle growing there. She was so perfect, so radiant and she didn't even see it yet.

She smiled when I rested my head right above the lump and ran my fingers across her silky, pale skin. She sighed and ran her hands through my hair, whispering that she loved me as she did so. "I'll wear the backup dress then," she sighed eventually and forced me to move out of the peaceful position I'd taken on her abdomen.

I grabbed a glass of cider that I'd been forced to drink since we found out she was with child and sipped at it as she wandered through the giant closet the hotel provided. Rose wouldn't see reason on the subject of staying in a hotel in the best part of New York, even though we all lived within the city limits. However, it was something about making the most of her wedding day, and seizing opportunities as they were presented to her.

It'd been about a month since Alice and I had our huge fight and I didn't even understand the sense of it looking back now. We went to see Esme the very next day and set up various appointments for the next nine months of our lives. I never thought I'd want children, especially when my life was so full just having Alice beside me, but the prospects of something so pure and innocent gripping for life inside of her couldn't be ignored after it was brought out into the light. I fell even more in love with her that day and it was impossible to describe how.

"Where are my girls?" A deep voice wondered as the front door of the suite opened suddenly. Alice was locked away in the closet as I embraced the giant Native American man, accompanied by my former lover. "Aw Bells, you look so pretty! Alice you are a genius," Jake gasped as he spun me around to get a look at how Alice wanted to style me tomorrow. I rolled my eyes and let go of his hand to find my Edward standing before me: still covered in tiny bruises.

"Hey," he smiled as he embraced me. I kissed his neck gently and held him even closer to me; feeling our friendship come through in it as he spun me around. "You really do look beautiful, Bella." He confessed, twirling me as Jake had.

I let go of his hands as Jake touched the dark dress lying across the bed and eyed the steak dinner the baby had ordered for its mother. "What, Alice suddenly have a Gaga moment and decide to throw her dress aside for steaks?" He picked up the garment and hung it back up, waiting for my reply as Edward and I giggled.

"No," I promised, setting down my wine glass, "she's become a bit too uh, _round, _to fit in it I'm afraid." I whispered the last bit, but the super pregnant woman heard me and burst out of the closet, the beautiful floor length dress she picked as a backup gracing her beautiful figure.

Her face was one of murderous hatred. "I heard that Isabella," she growled as she approached me, "and I won't forget it tonight when you're whining for me to get on top of you," Alice threatened. I rolled my eyes and turned her to face the wall length mirror she insisted on bringing with us, only to see her mouth pop open.

She turned a few times and smirked slyly. "This should have been my first choice. It's so nineteen twenties don't you think, Jake?" She wondered as she twirled in it like a dancer from the golden age.

"Oh definitely," he agreed and they both went on to blather about how amazing everything was and how excited they were. I took Edward by the arm, handed him a glass of cider that he gratefully took, and we headed out to the huge balcony of the suite.

We sat on the ledge as we had done so many times before in his apartment and in mine. I rested my head on his shoulder and smiled at the lights of the city around us. New York really was the most beautiful place I'd ever been to, even if I liked Forks better. I smiled up at Edward when he sighed, content with everything around us. "How are you?" I wondered, looking into his green eyes seriously.

He took his time in answering, as if the answer was something he really had to think about to be honest with me. "I've never been so happy in my life," he admitted shamelessly. "I know what it's like now to love someone and be able to be completely open about your feelings in front of the entire world if you'd wanted to. I love him so much." He looked back at Jake who had indulged in a glass of real wine while he and Alice toasted to the big day tomorrow. They'd become such good friends while Edward recovered that they appeared to have known each other their entire lives.

I was so happy for Edward: for him to really know the feeling of freedom and passion beyond the two of us had ever imagined in our time together. I held him tighter and sighed gleefully. "I'm so very glad to hear that." It was true, I held no resentment for the relationship we had as it was to be forgiven because it wasn't something either of us had ever truly desired.

"How are you, beautiful Bella?" He wondered, poking the tip of my nose as I set down my glass. I rolled my eyes at the statement but didn't object to it because I knew he'd just insist that I was the entire night and nothing else would be said.

"I'm entirely too great. I never imagined I'd be so lucky, Alice having a baby!" I exclaimed as I shook my head in disbelief, still. "Even if that bastard was the one to give us one. I love her like you love him. We'll never ever be apart, no matter how hard we try to be." I laughed when he smiled down at me proudly. He helped me off the ledge and into the hotel once more, but now Jake and Alice were ordering everything in sight on the room service menu. I went into the closet to be rid of the dress I'd be wearing tomorrow and found myself in the company of a very beautiful woman. Alice smirked and shut the door, locking it from the inside as she wrapped her arms around my shoulders.

"Alice, we can't." I protested when her lips met mine and she pushed herself against me, ignoring my warning.

Believe me, I wanted nothing more than to lay her down on that big bed and ravish her until she was seeing the stars, but since the accident she hadn't been the same when we were intimate. Or tried to be. I let my feelings get in the way of what I knew was going to happen and ran my hands down her sides, touching every beautiful piece of her I could get my hands on.

I gasped as she bit down on my neck, lapping at the soreness her teeth brought until I was begging for more from her. I pushed her into the wall I was against and kissed down her neck greedily, grinding our hips together in the perfect friction. My hands rand down her bloated stomach and finally rested on the folds between her legs. I licked across her nipple when she froze up, stopping all of my actions as she remembered what that bastard had done to her, yet again.

This was the exact reason I didn't want to do this. "Baby, shh," I soothed her as tears ran down her cheeks, "it's just me, Bella. He isn't even on the same continent my love. He'll never hurt you again," I promised and that relaxed her body but her bright blue eyes were still troubled with the images of her attacker. I wanted to rip him to shreds for taking her confidence away from her.

"I'm so messed up," she grunted, exasperated by this horrible situation. "I'm sorry, Bella. I just, can't. I don't know why, I want to but whenever you touch me I flip." She was mumbling now, most to herself because I was thinking about killing Jasper, but it would have to wait for the boys outside began knocking and getting impatient.

A deep voice penetrated the wood. "Oh come on, if there's something going on in the closet we're more than happy to go to our room and make even more noise," Jake threatened through the cracks, getting a smirk out of both of us.

"We'll be right out," I assured the both of them and grabbed Alice's petite hands in mine. "Baby, I love you alright? We're fine and we don't need that to know we love each other," I swore, even though the raging wetness between my legs begged to differ.

I bit my tongue when her face turned from hopeless to reassured and sifted through the bags to find our pajamas. I handed her the extra comfy man boxers I bought in secret at Wal-Mart and took some for myself as well while she gave me a tank top. I kissed her lips, sealing my love for her in the action and she hugged me tightly. "Love you, Bella." She whispered as I held her close to my heart.

I didn't even have to think about the response. "I love you, Ally," I vowed and we unlocked the door, letting the boys bombard us with the promise of a marathon of their favorite romantic movies made this year and food ordered from downstairs. A knock at the door startled Alice and I, but Edward and Jake just smirked to themselves and went to let whoever it was in.

Taking the opportune moment when I saw it, I wiggled my way behind Alice and let my legs wrap around her waist. When her head turned to see what I was up to, I kissed her lips softly, lovingly. But she had other ideas. She took her hands and gripped my hair, getting closer to me by turning on me, wrapping her own legs around me and sat on my lap so she could run her tongue across my lips. I groaned as her wet center rubbed against my throbbing sex, showing me just how much she wanted me back. I ran my hands across her perky nipples, getting a whimper past her lips. I bit down on her collarbone and let her hand run between us, fingering the wet fabric past my-

"Sup, sexy pregnant babe and equally sexy not so pregnant babe?" Emmett's booming laughter broke us apart instantaneously, leaving us blushing as he sat down between the both us, grabbing the bowl of popcorn. He knew exactly what we were getting at and made it his mission in life to stop it whenever he could. He was THE definition of cock-blocker.

Scowling, I spoke coldly as I regained the volume of my voice. "Emmett? What the hell aren't you supposed to be out grabbing Stripper's asses or something?" I scoffed as I flicked the huge muscles on his arm.

He grinned and shook his head like we were demented. "You think Rose would let me live if she knew I'd ever seen a stripper?" We all snorted and then it became clear why he was here with us instead of our with his guy friends.

I welcomed the big lug, seeing the happiness in his eyes as he sat down and started going through Edward's Netflix subscription on his IPad. Of course, when Jake and Edward got back from getting the room service, Emmett had already picked out what he called the best zombie movie of all time. "Hey, hey, hey," Edward protested as we played it, "we're having a romantic comedy night, dummy." I snorted at how girly he sounded as he scolded the huge kid.

"Haha, no we aren't. Gimme that," Emmett swatted Edward away like he was swatting at a fly and played the horror movie to everyone except Jake and Edward's relief.

I wasn't in the mood for an entire night of lovey-dovey Hollywood nonsense, anyway. I was much more content to watch her watching the movie, cringing as people were brutally murdered. I didn't take my eyes off of her beauty, even as she began to doze off and fall onto Emmett's shoulder a bit. I stood up and walked behind the lavish couch so the men around me wouldn't flip out because I was blocking the TV, as even Edward had gotten into the gory bloodshed. I scooped Alice up in my arms, seeing her smile as she curled up to me.

My lips rested on her forehead, taking in her essence as innocently as was possible. "We're gonna head to bed," I announced, but my words were only heard by the wind that whipped through the apartment from the open balcony doors. I shut them on the way to our room and after setting her down in the bed that made her look like a goddess fallen from the sky, I locked our door and joined her in the bed. Sleep came to me like beauty came to the moon, and soon I joined her in my dreams.

"Come now, my love," I laughed as I played with the flowing dark silver dress that reached my knees comfortably. It was a V-neck dress with an open back, revealing what Alice said was just enough. My hair was down, like it always was, but Alice put something in it and made it looked amazing, so I wasn't complaining so badly that she put me in four inch black heels I would murder myself in by just walking through the hotel lobby.

She huffed at me, and the two other men waiting for her to get ready, but opened the door and revealed her masterpiece to the world. Her hair was down and styled like a girl from the turn of the century instead of spikey as it always was and her eyes were rimmed by thick lashes: she was beautiful, glowing even, but she always was and not even a glamorous dress would change that. "Okay, you can all stop gawking I know my belly is all," she gestured to the unnoticeable space under her dress, "big and such." She pouted when we all smiled, but I went over to her and kissed her perfect lips.

"You're gorgeous as always and your stomach, even if noticeable, is something to celebrate. Rose might actually make you change, my love," I warned and she swatted me away jokingly, batting her cute eyelashes as I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her neck.

We made our way into the elevator and down to the lobby where I could already smell the beautiful scent of a thousand roses and jasmine blossoms. They were the beautiful flower arrangements that greeted us at the entrance of the reception area. There were singular metal chairs set up on either side of the aisle, accompanied by the jasmine blossom bouquets along each of the columns that stood tall in the room: it looked positively Roman and absolutely fit for Emmett and Rosalie. Gossamer lined the floor of the aisle all the way to the altar, beautifully made of the same material with candles lit all around it. There were candles and flowers all along the room, greeting everyone with their floral scent. The ceiling was a giant portrait, showing images that could only be described of visions that heaven offered.

Alice spotted Rose's parents, but when their stern gazes locked on our hands we walked to our seats instead of making conversation. They were very Christian folk and deeply frowned on couples like Alice and me, or even Edward and Jacob. We all sat, watching as people we didn't recognize came in and sat, admiring all of Rose's ideas brought to life by too many hours of planning and shopping done by Alice and me. "We did amazing," Alice whispered, offering her fist. I touched it with mine, nodding in agreement. We did do amazingly and we should have, being as we stayed up for nearly forty hours in this very room making it perfect.

I took the woman beside me by the hand and kissed it just as the lights dimmed and the famous music began: Pachelbel's Cannon in D Major. It was the music that meant the beautiful blonde bride was going to emerge from behind the double doors at the entrance and confess her love forever for the huge man standing by the priest, waiting. He'd come up with his mother, an eccentric looking woman with wild blonde hair and tan skin. Rosalie didn't have and bridesmaids because the wanted it to be just about them while they were up there, no distractions from the magic they felt inside of themselves.

We giggled as Emmett caught a glimpse of Rose and actually started getting emotional, his lip quivering as he held himself together. I'd never seen Emmett so moved and it was touching to behold all of the love he had for Rosalie. I never imagined him being a passionate fellow, more brutal or animalistic. I grabbed Alice's hand as Rosalie walked down the long passage, her beautiful flowing white dress trailing behind her elegantly. It was like watching something from a movie: the girl got the man she'd always loved and he broke into tears saying his wedding vows to her. l

"I've never met someone like you," Emmett smiled at the beautiful teary-eyed girl and took her hands. "and I'll say it a thousand times, my Rose. I love you," he kissed her right hand, "I love you," he kissed her left hand and grabbed the wedding ring, sliding into its place on her finger gently, "I love you." He finished, kissing the ring that would stay there forever.

Rose choked up, as did I and my love, and nodded as she slid his ring on as well. "And I'll always be yours, Emmett. I love you so much." She held back a sob and was calmed when his giant, gentle hands touched her cheeks, wiping away the stray tears that lied there.

"Then as no one objects to this union, I know pronounce you man and wife. Emmett, you may kiss your bride," the priest smiled widely, stepping back. They shared such an intimate moment, even though they weren't even touching, that I felt I had to look away. She wrapped her arms around his neck, his hands fell to her hips and when their lips met applause rose through the pews and we all cheered for our newlywed friends.

Edward kissed Jake on the cheek; Alice hadn't stopped sniffling until she had finally kissed my lips and whispered "I love you so much my Bella." She ignored the crowd that headed toward the opposite reception room for the after party. I felt her penetrating gaze pierce me, filling me with warmth that I couldn't push aside no matter the stares we got from everyone around us.

I cupped her cheek and looked deep into the blue eyes I'd fallen so in love with, not really caring that there were people around, and kissed her with all of the feeling in my body. She stepped closer, pressing her body against mine, sending shivers of lust down my spine. I bit my lip when she pulled away, blushing a rare shade of scarlet, and tried to sooth the fire in the pit of my stomach as it was ready to consume everything in its path in pursuit of her. I swallowed the hunger and followed her into the lavish room, even grander than the last filled the all types of food, an enormous, gold white wedding cake, and a stage with a full band playing soft acoustic music. I took her hand, willing to show her how much I'd practiced with Jake for this moment. I had two left feet, and the limp Jake had for the last month showed it had to be really bad, but I got the hang of it eventually. I took her hand and she rolled her eyes until I began to lead her around the room, dancing in rhythm to the sweet music around us.

"Don't ask for anything more," I chuckled as she stared at me, stunned. "Jake has vowed to never teach me another kind of dance in his life after what I did to his toes." Alice laughed loudly, startling the snob looking couple beside us and rested her head on my shoulder with a smirk on her lips.

She let my hands rest on her hips, hers arms wrapped around my neck, and I felt her lips touch my neck like a butterfly's kiss. I held her close, savoring the way her skin felt on mine and shut my eyes, letting the music lead both of us to wherever it wanted. A tap on my shoulder was the only thing that had torn me from her and when I saw Rose smirking at me, I cringed. I knew this was coming, from the moment she told me she was getting married. "You, Edward, and this guitar," she pointed to an acoustic she was holding, "are getting on that stage now and singing at my wedding. You lost a bet, you are paying up now."

Fuck. I really hoped she'd forget that bet. "What bet?" Alice wondered, raising an eyebrow.

Grinning, and blushing hard, I opened and closed my mouth a few times before I could answer. "We were stupidly young, and probably drunk off our asses, but Edward and I bet that we could have sex before Emmett and Rose. Not exactly knowing they'd already done it so when we got upstairs everything was awkward; only to become more so as we heard Rose and Emmett fucking so hard the wall nearly broke. It wasn't a fair bet," I protested at the beautiful bride. She rolled her eyes and handed Edward, who had been dragged along, the guitar.

"Don't care, it's my wedding and I love it when you two would sing together when you thought no one was listening." Again, she was just making both of us blush like she knew she could. Those were the nights though: sitting up on Edward's balcony as it rained against the house, playing music that defined the love we used to have.

Edward took me by the arm, whispering to me as we walked away. "I've got the perfect idea that will get Rose off your back and Alice on hers." I gasped as he walked me up the stairs at his crude notion, but followed along shyly. The guests around us smiled at what they thought was a heterosexual couple and we sat on the two stools the band members left for us.

"Good evening, before we begin I just want to congratulate our friends. Emmett and Rose, we wish you many, many happy years together." Edward always did have such a way with words that made all of the women in the room swoon; I theorized it was the tone of his voice.

He began playing the sweet melody, reminding me of the recent nights we'd spent together while we still "loved" each other. I wanted so badly to glare at Rose, but I saw my Alice and felt all the meaning of this song radiate through my chest. I was singing to her, and she knew it.

"Heart beats fast, colors and promises. How to be brave, how can I love when I'm afraid to fall, but watching you stand alone, all of my doubt, suddenly goes away somehow." Her eyes glazed over, my heart calmed because I could only see her among the hundreds of people watching. Her blue eyes, her beautiful white skin shining in the light of the moon.

"One step closer." Edward sang with me, smiling as I glanced over at him. "I have died everyday waiting for you. Darlin' don't be afraid I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more."

People began to dance, slowly as if mesmerized by the song and we continued onto the second verse. "Time stands still, beauty in all she is," I made sure to look her right in the eyes as I spoke the true words, making her cheeks flush red. "I will be brave; I will not let anything take away what's standing in front of me. Every breath, every hour has come to this."

The band had stopped and all there was left was the acoustics and my voice, singing to the woman I'd always love the end of the song. "One step closer. I have died everyday waiting for you. Darlin' don't be afraid, I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more."

I could remember singing this song so many times, even hearing it from Edward, and up until now it meant nothing to me. It meant nothing because her eyes weren't on me; her smile wasn't there for me; her love wasn't so deep for me yet and now that I had was nothing else would ever matter. She was the only thing that mattered.

It took everything I had in me to keep singing instead of going to where she stood with her hands up to her thin lips. "And all along I believed I would find you. Time has brought your heart to me. I have loved you for a thousand years. I'll love you for a thousand more…" Every word was a promise, every breath was a vow of my affections, and for a moment, we were the only people in the world.

Edward and I stood as people clapped politely, but I hadn't eyes for anyone but her. My legs were possessed with the need to be close to her and nothing would stop me from getting there. Alice took me into her arms and kissed me like I'd never been kissed before: her desire dripped past her lips with the swipe of her tongue against mine, her need mixed with mine as she ran her hands through my hair and pulled me even closer. We needed to get out of here, not that anyone was watching from where we were in the shadows, but the things I wanted to do to her would make them stare.

It only took an elevator ride I didn't remember to get us back to up to the hotel and into the huge soft bed it provided. I locked the door, unzipping her dress as I did so and gasped at the way her silky pale skin gleamed in the daylight. She turned, smirking while she undressed me, slowly slipping the fabric off of my shoulders until we both stood before each other, as natural as our love was. I ran my hands down her arms, caressing her skin as she wrapped them around me and kissed me heatedly.

I took her in my arms, never losing the eye contact we shared, and lied her down on the bed. Our lips hadn't parted until she wrapped her legs around me, and I was the one on my back, staring up at the woman I'd fallen in love with over and over again. "Are you sure," I whispered as her lips touched my neck and her hand traveled down my stomach.

She smiled against my skin, pressing her body into mine, and whispered right below my ear. "I'll always be sure about you, my Bella."

**A/N:**

**Hey all,**

**Just in case my stuff does get taken down, which I'm doubtful it will, but still, I've created a blog with all of my works. Well, right now I'm just adding the collective chapters for all my stories, but if you'd like you can follow it and it WILL be MA whereas my works on FF will be M. :) You decide.**

**BUT I AM NOT DELETING ANYTHING HERE, Don't worry :D**

**Review :D**

**-Dee**


	23. BLOG INFO

Hey everyone! Sorry for all of the random updates, just there's been a LOT of shit happening!

GOOD NEWS! :D

I've started up a **blog** where ALL of my stories will be in the near future, so far I've only got all the recent, **INCLUDING CHAPTER 22, of I Kissed A Girl**. The other's will be up soon, just give me a couple days it takes a while to sort through and edit what I need to.

**Just click where it says I KISSED A GIRL beside WELCOME and all of the chapters are uploaded there :)**

BUT for the meantime, I Kissed A Girl readers, the chapters on that blog will contain the sexy, steamy over the fucking top lemons that I absolutely LOVE to write, while on this website I will keep things calm so the fucking admin doesn't kick me in my theoretical balls. :D

here's the link, take out the spaces and leave me your reviews in comments ! **pandadee . wordpress . com**

**Follow me and you'll get emails when there are new posts. Or just follow me here and when I upload go there to read it and leave your reviews, whichever y'all prefer :) **

Thanks for the support, still love all of you to death!

-PandaDee


	24. Forks

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

**Forks**

I almost forgot what a forest actually looked like: the moss on the trees, the rain everywhere because it was early January, and even the occasional sound of a wolf howling through the night. I'd been driving since we landed in Seattle because of a request made by the woman that I loved. She slept in the seat beside me inside of the rental car. She wanted to meet my family, and I couldn't have been more fucking petrified about that. I had no idea how my parents were going to react: I hadn't even told them that I left Edward yet.

And of course, he wasn't here to break the news with me. He and Jake had gone away to London while Rose and Emmett went to Paris to find even more of their loved hidden in the city of lights. Alice and I missed the part where they announced it because we'd been in the bedroom making love over and over again, but I had no regrets about it. I shuddered at the memory of the experience, feeling wetness lace my underwear instantly. I glanced over at the woman, sleeping soundly, and ran my hand through her jet-black hair. The best thing about it all was that I had my Alice back: the girl that loved and trusted me with all of her being. And after I kissed every inch of her body that night, she didn't flinch when I touched her again. She'd even push me lower when I ran my hands – or my tongue – all the way down her body now. I'd missed that.

And when we got back to our apartment a few days after the wedding, she insisted we come out here to meet my parents – in Forks. I put all of my art projects on hold, explained that I had to go home for a little while to see my family, and we booked our flight. Alice knew that when she gave me those big, blue eyes that just said "pleeaasseee, Bella" I couldn't say no. It was pretty humiliating to go through the mall and have her sit me down on a bench to only have a huge bitch fit because I refused to come back to Forks.

Needless to say I was very easily persuaded when people asked why I was treating her that way, like I was some abusive husband-woman on a rampage because I didn't want to see my parents' reaction to her.

Alice's hands startled me, running up my leg as I was lost in my own thoughts, and I jumped in my seat when her lips touched my neck. She giggled at my little outburst and scooted closer to me, only to wrap her arms around my waist lovingly. "Why do you look so nervous?" I whispered, kissing her head as she rested it on my shoulder. I shuddered and finally looked into her blue eyes cautiously, judging her reaction to all of the things going on around us. Things that were about to happen.

"I'm scared. I want them to like me, but I don't know what they're gonna think of me," she confessed. I snorted and grabbed her hand, resting them both on my lap as I tried to reassure her – and myself.

"What's not to like, Alice? You're beautiful, sweet, caring, annoying when you wanna be," I joked, bumping her shoulder as she stuck her tongue out. "But even thought my parents won't expect me to confessing I'm in love with a woman, I'm sure they'll love you. I mean, have you ever met someone who doesn't absolutely _adore_ you, Ally?" I laughed, making her blush a little as she looked out the window again.

"No," she admitted. "But this is different. I'm going to tell your parents I'm in love with you, you've agreed to stay with me while I have a baby that couldn't possibly be yours ever, and…well, I'm scared that they'll get mad and say you have to choose between your family and me. I don't ever want to make you have to take such a decision." She whispered the last bit and I smiled sadly down at her.

It could absolutely come to that, but I already knew what choice I would make. I held her hand tighter as if it would further demonstrate my resolve in the matter. "Don't worry about it. Oh look!" I pointed to the brown sign that told us just where we were. "We're here." I giggled at her wide-eyed reaction to the town which admitted it only held almost four-thousand people.

"I think I understand why you moved…" Her eyes were wide as she took in the diner, the tiny supermarket, the ONLY Chinese food place, and the ONLY motel for miles. It was a wonder that I'd grown up here, in such a small little village, but as I looked around memories flooded my vision.

The little logging town was my home, my life at one point, and I wouldn't have changed it. I pointed in the opposite direction we were going as I turned at a stop light. "That way is Edward's parent's house. They live about a mile into the woods, totally secluded in darkness." I chuckled, remembering getting lost as I tried to find it on my bike when I was fifteen years old. Not the proudest moment of my life, I'd admit.

She curled up closer to me, looking at the forest in awe as we drove closer to my home of eighteen years. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling the rental Volvo into the graveled front parking lot, and cut the ignition. She was wringing her fingers in her lap and I looked down at her nervous blue eyes – for the first time since I'd met this remarkable woman they held doubt. "It'll be fine," I assured the both of us. "My mom will love you and my dad will love that you make me happy. He's always hated Edward anyway," I giggled, smiling at her warmly, encouragingly.

She nodded, determination replacing the doubt, and kissed my cheek sweetly before two bodies emerged from the big, white house. The home was average, a long porch, Victorian style: very typical for this town and for the time period it was built in, but Alice seemed to smile at the charm it held. I grabbed the bags out of the back as my parents came over to us, holding umbrellas to shield us from the rain. "Mom," I smiled as Charlie took the bags from me. She was already embracing me tightly, saying that I was in so much trouble for not coming by sooner.

It had been three years since I'd seen her face. She hadn't aged a day, but it seemed more like she'd gotten even more beautiful with age. My mom was everything I wasn't: she had wild brown and red hair, bright green eyes like Edward, and laugh lines on her aged face. "Oh Bella," she interrupted my gazing at her and enveloped me in a huge hug, dragging me to the porch. "I've missed you so much! Charlie and I got back about a month ago, why haven't you been here sooner?" She pouted, glaring at me until she noticed the blushing girl standing beneath Charlie's scrutiny on the porch. She backed away from me, staring curiously at Alice until I smiled guiltily and went to her side.

"Mom, Dad, this is Alice." I nudged her toward my mom who was standing there with wide eyes as she watched Alice give me a worried glance and proceed to extend her hand to my mother. "Alice, this is my mother, Renee and my father, Charlie." I couldn't help but smile wide as they all shook hands curiously, my parents staring at her more than she stared at them. I assumed that was because she knew why she was here and they hadn't the slightest idea.

"Well, it's sure nice to meet you, Alice. How long have you and Bella known each other?" Charlie asked as mom continued to stare suspiciously.

Alice smiled up at my dad and I knew she had him wrapped around her finger already – she was so damn charming how could he resist? "Oh we've been friends for quite a while now. We met back in September, on her birthday to be exact." He took her bag from her hands and opened the door for her to go inside, another question on his tongue.

"That's neat. So, what made you wanna come all the way out to Washington?" He chuckled, letting her and my mother pass as he gave me a knowing look that made my cheeks heat up. What was he getting at, asking her all of these questions?

We went into the house, which always seemed to smell like cinnamon and fresh apple pie and I sighed happily. I was finally home, home where the trees covered the sun as it set, home where it was colder than a witch's tit, but still very beautiful anyway. I missed it here. I almost missed Alice's answer as I stared at the pictures on the walls.

"Well, I wanted to know where she was from. I had to see Forks for myself; she always paints it so beautifully when we talk." I grinned at my love from across the room where Charlie had taken her coat for her. I waited for her to come back to my side before we followed my silent mother into the kitchen.

I linked arms with her. "We don't talk about it _that_ much." I reasoned with her. Why would we? I hated Forks with a passion because of how much I really hated the people, but the times we did talk I always told her of the forest and the magic it held.

She snorted. "Bella, we live together. I've wanted to see Forks since I saw the pictures of it around the apartment." It was almost like we were back in the New York shoebox now, mumbling and griping to each other like this. I hoped it would always be this way when she knew she was right.

"So," my mom interrupted my thoughts, avoiding the way my hand snaked through Alice's. "How's Edward doing? Why isn't he here with you?" She wondered, glaring at the connection between my lover and me as she asked with the single purpose of making me back away from the girl she didn't know yet.

"Edward," I laughed when Alice held back giggles by biting her lip. I could only _imagine_ the things that boy was doing right now. "Edward is just fine, I'm sure. He's in London right now," I explained when Alice and I sat beside each other on the love seat.

Charlie was already smirking at us knowingly and I accepted that as his acceptance of what I wanted in my life now. He knew and now he was just waiting for mom to catch on. "Why?" She persisted, raising an eyebrow as Charlie brought in coffee mugs from the bright-yellow kitchen.

I thanked him and handed one to Alice before I explained the whole thing as it was explained to me by Edward. "He and Jacob Black wanted to go see the place for a while since Edward's on vacation from school and Jake's staying in New York until they can move back to Seattle. That and Rose and Emmett were on their way to Paris after their wedding so they thought it was the perfect time to go as well." Alice nodded next to me, knowing exactly why the two lovers had left.

They wanted to be alone, truly alone and away from the staring eyes of everyone they knew back in the city. I didn't blame them. It was almost a godsend to have Alice here with me, around no one she really knew, because now she could love me without worrying about it damaging her career or her family finding out.

"Jacob Black? I thought those two hated each other, rivaling over you and all." She smirked and Charlie just rolled his eyes.

Charlie must've heard from Jacob's father, and his best friend, Billy that Jacob was with Edward now. I wasn't surprised he hadn't told my mother: hell hath no wrath like Renee Swan when the wedding she always wanted to plan had been taken away. "Renee, don't you see why Jake's with Edward, in another country, alone, for a long period of time?" He hinted, completely hitting the mark.

Alice tugged on my hand and I whispered I'd explain later, if he didn't. My mom's eyed widened and she looked at me quickly, making sure I wasn't harboring huge emotional scars from being dumped by Edward for another guy. I sighed. If only she knew it was pretty much mutual. "Oh honey, are you alright? Edward, really?" She seemed perplexed and it was Alice who giggled a response to her confused brow.

"Wasn't it always kinda obvious with his love of designer jeans and snooty attitude? I could tell from the moment I met Edward that if he wasn't gay, he at least liked men sometimes." I had to bite back the snort before it left me and saw my mom doing the same thing.

"Yeah," she nodded, sipping on her cup of tea, "I guess it really was. The way him and Jake were always glaring and arguing…"She shook her head as if to shake the bad memory away and I had hopes that what I was about to tell her next would be as easily accepted.

She saw the way Alice blushed up at me when I glanced down at her. We both knew it was time to get on with what really needed to be said, and finally I looked at the parent that was ignorant to my feelings for the girl in my arms. "There's something else, too. The big reason why Alice and I both came here, actually." I gulped when her ears perked up, getting the slightest whiff that this was even bigger gossip than my ex-lover crossing over to the dark side of the rainbow.

Charlie was looking at me, proud for some reason. I guess it wasn't hard to see that I would never like guys, being as I loved to be dirty, loved a different kind of lifestyle than normal girls, and only ever had one boyfriend. I'd admitted to myself in high school that all other boys were yucky, but found myself more than once staring at a girl or two. I accepted that I was different. I accepted that I was in love with the woman beside me. I accepted who I was because I knew I would never be able to change that and I didn't want to anyway. I accepted that Alice shared her feelings of love with me. I accepted everything because it was who I was meant to be. I blushed at the memories and shyly glanced up at my mother. Her eyes were wide, curious, excited, but most of all wondrous about whatever I had to say. Could she, my mother, the woman I loved with all of my heart, accept me too?

I hoped so.

"You see," I started, wrapping an arm around Alice's shoulders as she turned pink. _What the fuck was I gonna say_? "Alice and I," _Obviously, Bella. _I was making a mess of this. Alice squeezed my hand, assuring me that I could find the courage inside of myself to say this. I could do this, couldn't I?

"Well, we're sort of…no. I mean," _God why were words so damn hard to find_? I glared stubbornly at my fear until it backed away and finally just let it out, taking in a deep breath as my mom froze in shock at my confession. I grimaced as I waited for her rage.

"Mom, I'm in love with Alice."

**A/N:**

**Apologies! This is so late! But I've been really preoccupied with another fic of a totally different genre that has grabbed my attention so I've been writing it instead of my Twilight fics. BUT I've decided that I just needed to sit down and get this done, so here it is!**

**Who thinks Renee is gonna freak? MUhaha**

**REVIEW :D**

**-Panda**


	25. The End of a Tale

Hello readers of I Kissed a Girl.

It's been too long since I've updated this story, and I am genuinely sorry for that. These past few years have seen me lose my passion, regain it, and begin to perfect it. I am still in a deep haze of writer's block. I fight it daily.

I've become a very avid midnight toker, spreading my roots and getting back to nature. It's helped me begin to write again and see the beauty of creating something that means something to people. I am deeply sorry, but there will be no further updates to this story. I love the plot, and adore the characters as they are, but I cannot bring myself to finish it after leaving it alone for this long.

So, my dearest readers who may or may not want to kill me right now, I apologize again, and wish you all the best of luck in the adventures that your life will bring you.

Sincerely,

December


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